The Iris Tales
by n1ght3lf
Summary: A few days before Ranma's wedding, the curse begins to act up, and Ranma finds himself changing in a bone-dry room. Can Ranma's relationship survive? Can Ranma survive?
1. Angel

(Author's note: You may either read "Angel" first or "Iris"; either one will do. I posted the works in chronological order, not order of initial release.)

The first thing Ranma knew in the morning was pain.

This didn't come as much of a surprise to him; he'd heard what it was like to drink, and he'd certainly had a lot. His tongue felt like Kasumi had used it to polish the floors and his head pounded with the drums of some faceless marching band. For a moment, he wondered if his mother had made good on the seppuku promise, as white-hot knives jabbed at his insides. Skin prickled at his every touch, as though the entire world was on fire. He rubbed his arms together; why did it itch so much?

Groaning, ignoring the warning sirens in his head, he forced himself to his feet. He didn't mean to drink so much... waitasec. Yes he did; he just didn't want to feel like this afterwards. It was a bachelor party that made him this way; he never knew that 'bachelor party' meant 'make as much fun of the groom-to-be as possible'. He inwardly vowed that Hiroshi and Daisuke were going to pay for that little stunt... he adjusted whatever it was he was wearing, and staggered out of the bedroom. Nature was calling him, and he was compelled to listen.

He only made it halfway down the stairs. The burning around him intensified... as did the internal pain. His groin hurt like Akane had malleted it; gravity took him the rest of the way down as his body coursed in waves of pain. He felt tight around the chest... was he having a heart attack?

On reflex, Ranma placed his hands over his most treasured spot - then gasped. It was smaller; _he_ was smaller.... somehow, he was changing, in the middle of a bone-dry room. The changes intensified, and he fought back the screams... but couldn't hold back the tears.

He'd changed before, but then it had been much more innocent, much less... offensive. Here, he could _feel_ breasts and hips swell; he whimpered as his testicles rose into his abdomen, and his body reshaped around new lines... new purposes. It... it felt like the first time, when he'd come from the water, or when he...she got into the hot bath after facing Herb... He...She fought the screams for a full two minutes, as bones ground against each other, and muscles shrank to fit a different existence.

After what seemed an eternity, the pain began to subside, leaving a dull ache to replace it. She knew the change was almost done; she knew her second body, after all, and the way it felt. She could feel the breasts pushing against her arms, and her reshaped privates still cupped by now-slender hands. She couldn't think straight; the hormones were kicking in.... she felt so tired.... so tired.... so....

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Angel

A work of Ranma 1/2 fanfiction; the first work in the Iris Tales.

All Ranma 1/2 characters created by Rumiko Takahashi. All rights reserved. I must ask that you not do anything with any part of this work without the author's permission.

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I. Shadows

"Akane! Wake up!"

Harsh whispers snapped Akane from her alcohol slumber. Her thick tongue rolled around in her mouth, tasting what was left of last night. She blinked, then looked up.

"Sa... Sayuri? What... is it now? If you're trying to get me to drink another concoction of yours..."

The harsh whisper came again, sounding to her like a leaking balloon. "Dr. Tofu's on the phone! He says there's something wrong with Ranma!"

At the mention of Ranma's name, Akane's eyes snapped wide open - a move she regretted, as the light poured mercilessly into them. "Wha... what's wrong?" She tried to get up, fighting the headache and nausea that plagued her. The phone was mercifully handed to her; she placed it backwards on her shoulder, then corrected herself.

"Hello?" Her voice cracked from last night's reverie.

"Akane." Tofu's voice sounded tense - as though he were worried about something. "Ranma... something's wrong with him. I think you should come down here right away."

"What's wrong?" Akane fumbled with the buttons on her blouse, turning an immodest party outfit into something moderately respectable.

The pause on the line seemed to last an eternity. "Akane.... there's something wrong with the curse."

Akane nearly dropped the phone from shock. "I... I'm on my way, Doctor." She handed the phone back to Sayuri, who replaced it on its hook.

"So what happened this time?" Sayuri whispered. Apparently the party had taken its toll on her as well.

Akane shook her head. "Dunno... but nothing good." She straightened out her skirt, and moved toward the foyer.

"Sayuri?"

"Hmmm?"

She began to slip on her shoes. "Could you please come with me? I don't know if I can make it alone."

Sayuri frowned. "That bad, huh?"

Akane shook her head. "No... but I doubt I could find my own house after last night."

The ensuing laughter was painful - for both of them. Sayuri sat next to Akane, and started putting on her shoes. "Okay, Akane. Let's go."

The journey to the clinic was a long one - the subways and city streets glared with the bright light of the morning and blurred with the colors of pedestrians, making Akane wish for sunglasses. Sayuri wasn't much better; she'd had to take a bathroom break at one point, to offer her respects for last night's partying. Akane never thought she'd be so glad to see the clinic in all its spartan glory. She leaned her head against the doorframe once she walked into the clinic, giving herself a moment of rest before going in.

To her surprise, Ranma was male when she entered the room; he was sitting on the small bed, looking as though he was locked in a prison. She glowed when he saw the light in his eyes; he wasn't the most expressive of men, but she could see his feelings broadcast in a blue sparkle.

"Hey, Akane."

She thought about smiling back, then decided on a more familiar tactic. "And what are you doing here?"

Ranma grumbled. "I... just had a little attack. That's all."

"A little attack?" The voice startled Akane; she hadn't heard Tofu walk in. "Ranma, you changed over the course of minutes in the middle of a dry room! I wouldn't call that 'a little attack'. I'd call it a problem."

Ranma moved off the bed; Akane responded by moving next to him. "Well, I'm fine now."

Akane looked at him closely. She could see through his bravado; Ranma was genuinely scared. Forcing him to look her in the eye, she gave him a glare... one with all the love she could muster.

"Really?"

He turned away, a clear sign he was lying. "Yeah."

She took a deep breath. Anger was her enemy, and she would not let it overcome her. Not now. "Ranma, you will get in that bed this instant and you will not get out until Dr. Tofu has determined what's wrong with you. Okay?"

Ranma looked downward, like a scolded child. "O... Okay, Akane. If you want me to."

"Good." She sat next to him on the bed, and moved her hand to slide into his. "Now what happened? Really?"

She felt his grip tighten. Whatever had happened had definitely shook him up. "Well... I woke up from the party... and felt... strange. I went down to the bathroom to do some stuff, when... I... started to change.

"Started to change?"

He nodded slowly. "It.... God, it was painful. When I change normally, it's just a quick tingling, and that's it." He shook his head. "This time... I could feel every bit."

Tofu sat down across from them. "The shock to the system was so bad that he collapsed. Kasumi found him sprawled out on the floor this morning, and assumed the worst."

Akane blinked. "And there was no water involved?"

"None." Ranma shook his head. "Something else triggered the change. And I have no clue as to what."

Akane looked over to Tofu. "Did the alcohol affect his curse somehow?"

Tofu's eyebrows furrowed. "Well... I don't think so. Mr. Saotome drinks fairly often, after all."

Akane started to play with the hem of her dress. "What do we do now, Doctor?"

Tofu frowned. "We keep a close watch on him for a day or so, and see if it happens again. In the meantime, I'm going to go over to the Nekohanten; Cologne has more experience with Jusenkyo than I do."

Something flashed within her at the mentioning of Cologne's name. Something nasty. "Doctor... could she be behind what happened?"

Tofu shrugged. "Maybe. If she is, though... I think we'll find out about it." He pulled a coat over his shirt, and moved for the door. "Akane, I trust you'll keep an eye on him..."

She gave a sidelong glance toward her fiancee. "Oh, I... think I could do that."

"Good." He smiled. "I'll try to have this solved before the wedding; I promise." He closed the door behind him, encouraging Sayuri to come along with him. She was grateful for that; at the moment, she wanted nothing more than to be alone... with him.

***

Shampoo was worried.

She wiped the tables of the Nekohanten quietly, afraid that a word would crash her inner silence. It was still late morning; the lunch rush hadn't started yet, and only a couple of diehards were in the restaurant. Mousse was busy at the register taking an order; she'd have to go back into the kitchen in a second. Everything seemed normal, but still... she couldn't get the feeling of emptiness from her mind.

For her Hibachan was gone.

Her great-grandmother had left three days ago. She had said that she was picking up herbs somewhere in Kansai, but that she would be back the next day. She waited for her to come; Hibachan never missed a promise like that... but she had to shut the restaurant alone.

Truth to tell, the place felt empty without her. She missed those sparkling eyes that gazed on her with parental love, her hard-as-iron hands that could shatter stones and hold her close, her wrinkled smile, her wisdom born of age... she had grown up knowing Cologne's presence, and life felt hollow now without her.

A shadow passed over the door, and she looked up, half expecting to see her face. The shadow was larger than she'd wanted, though...

"Welcome, Doctor. What can Shampoo get to eat?"

She could see it; he was worried as well. "Is... Cologne around?"

"No," she forced out. "Hibachan... not here."

The doctor's eyes narrowed; he was angry at her absence? "Where is she?"

She stared at her feet for a moment. "Shampoo not know. Hibachan leave three day ago, say she back next day." She wrung the dishtowel in her hands. "She not back since."

Shampoo could feel the doctor's eyes examining her, piercing through to her very essence, then felt relief at his relaxing.

"Shampoo, would your great-grandmother know any methods of manipulating a Jusenkyo curse besides the Cat's Tongue?"

She stopped. There were a couple of methods... "Why ask?"

Tofu bit his lip. "I think that someone used one of those techniques on Ranma last night."

Shampoo's heart dropped. "Ai... Ranma? What happen?"

Tofu's gaze burned into her. "He changed... slowly... without the use of water. He complained of a tingling feeling along his skin, and stomach problems just before the change."

She gasped. Memories came back to her, nightmares of her childhood; a man crying, pleading for mercy... the half-animal screams... She steadied herself against one of the chairs, as she fought to keep from falling. "No... No..."

"What is it, Shampoo?" Tofu moved closer to her, his hands shadowing her shoulders.

Shampoo looked at the hands, then turned to Mousse. "Mousse, close shop. We have business." She tried not to appear nervous as she changed the restaurant sign, but knew she was failing.

Because, if she was right, Ranma was in for a LOT of trouble.

***

For a moment, Tendo Akane was at peace.

She lay on one of the cramped cots Tofu used, jockeying for a comfortable position. Each movement only brought her closer to him. She could feel the resistance of his muscles as she snuggled close, smell his musky scent when she found herself pressed in, sense the aura of contentment around him, see his gentle smile, feel his body warmth... she felt his hand close around hers, clutching in a soft embrace.

"Sorry to worry you, Akane." He squeezed the hand tightly, reassuringly.

She smiled, and relaxed. Ranma was here, she was here. That was all that she needed. "It's okay, Ranma. I... I know strange things tend to happen with your life."

Ranma blushed. "Yeah, well..." The hands around Akane quivered for a moment.

"Ranma, are you okay?"

He looked downward. She could see he wanted to lie so badly, if only to protect her... but he couldn't. Not to her. "No, I'm not."

She turned around. Beads of sweat trickled down his forehead. "You... you're really not feeling well, are you?"

Ranma only shook his head. She could see that look in his eyes - a haunted look that came only when things were their darkest.

"Can you handle it? Or do you want me to get a glass of cold water?"

"I can handle it," he whispered. She felt his arms tighten around her, as though she were a lifeline.

She bit her lip, trying to form the right words. "Um... Ranma? What do you feel right now?"

Ranma blinked, his mind lost in thought. His hand played with her own, even as the muscle coordination decreased. "I... it's like there's an itch all over my body. Whenever I changed, I would feel this... tingling, then find myself changed. I'm still feeling that... but it's magnified, somehow. I... didn't feel it when I woke up, but once Tofu put me in the tub..."

Akane swallowed the saliva in her throat. "Do you... think that you'll change anytime soon?"

"Probably," Ranma whispered, then winced. "Probably."

Akane could feel twin heartbeats, as they both sat in long, painful silence. She could feel his hands lose their steady control, see the sweatbeads on his forehead multiply, feel the internal quivers in his body...

"Akane?" The voice was shaking.

"Yes?"

"Ge... Get some cold water."

She got up from the cot, just in time to see him double over in pain. Warring loyalties raged for a moment, her desire to be with him conflicting with the responsibility to help. Summoning her will, she walked away, her eyes never leaving his form, and ran to the sink.

What was happening to Ranma seemed out of some horror film. His body slowly contracted on itself, as though his entire being were exhaling. Muscles lost definition; hands narrowed; his face was painfully reshaping itself. She nearly threw up when she heard the creak of bone, then recovered.

The cold water. If she splashed him, he'd change instantly, ending his pain. She filled up the kettle as fast as she could, and ran over to him. She heard noises in the background; she turned to see who it was as she tipped the kettle over...

A flash of purple intercepted the teakettle, sending it splashing away from Ranma's form. A ball of wet Chinese clothing rolled to a stop a few yards away.

"Sh... SHAMPOO? What do you think you're -"

"Akane."

Tofu walked up behind her, and put a firm hand on her shoulder. "She knows what she's doing." He turned to Ranma's writhing form. "How long has he been transforming?"

Akane shook out of her adrenaline rush. "A... About a minute, I think." She looked over at her fiancee; Ranma was about halfway changed; strands of red hair mingled with the black, and his body was shrunk to about the same size as her own. She shuddered; she'd made fun of Ranma's curse so much in the past, and now this...

Tofu walked over, and picked up the bundle of clothing. Something, no doubt Shampoo's other form, wriggled inside. "Akane... I know this may sound difficult, but I think we need to trust Shampoo for once."

"Trust her?" Akane yelled, then turned back to Ranma. It was almost done... woman's curves peeked out from his clothing, and his facial features were too far refined to be masculine. "Why?"

Tofu put Shampoo on the counter, and turned back to her. "Because she's the only one who recognizes what's going on. And, if I'm right, her great-grandmother was probably responsible for this."

Akane had known a lot of anger in her life. It was her vent, her way of dealing with a world too twisted for her otherwise; if something got in her way, she smashed it. A different emotion settled in her heart at Tofu's words, a dark, seductive feeling she was unfamiliar with. Someone had hurt someone very close to her, all because of some stupid Amazon law, and she vowed that the person responsible would pay - dearly.

For the first time, Akane knew true hatred. And she vowed, with whatever lifeblood remained in her, that she would see Cologne dead.

***

"Okay, Shampoo. What's wrong with me?"

Ranma sat at a table in Tofu's clinic, gently rubbing her sore muscles. Her body had been put through a blender; every part of her ached from the change, and she desperately wished for some time to lie down.

Unfortunately, if she was to find a way out, time was something she didn't have a lot of. She watched as Shampoo paused to gather her thoughts, her hands clasped in front of her face.

"Once, when Shampoo child, evil man come to village. He try to beat women in combat. When fail, he try to... violate one in night. Stupid man caught, and found guilty by Amazon Council."

She closed her eyes, not wanting to see what happened... but being forced to nonetheless. "Amazons declare that he no man, that he animal - he pig. Take man to Jusenkyo, and dunk in Heitonnichuan. Then... Amazons make man drink potion."

"What sort of potion?" Tofu asked.

Shampoo shook her head. "It mixture of Heitonnichuan and certain herbs - Shampoo not know which ones. It give curse to inside of body, not just outside." She sighed, and tried to continue her tale. "Man... change to pig every few hours, just as you change to woman. Over time, it become harder for man to change... until, one day, he no change back. He pig... forever. Amazons let him free, think it worse punishment than death."

Shampoo's eyes bore into Ranma's. "Curse potion play with person. Hibachan tell man, if use water to stop painful change, he become pig forever. Man hold out - he strong man, if evil - but eventually he no change back."

Ranma's eyes darkened. If Cologne knew... then... "So the old ghoul knows how to make the formula?"

Shampoo nodded.

That was all Ranma needed to hear. She moved to get up, ready to take that Amazon apart... when she felt an arm grab her shoulder.

"Wait a second, Shampoo." Akane was nonplussed. "How do we know that you didn't make it?"

Shampoo shook her head. "No know how." She locked eyes with Akane for a moment. "Shampoo promise as Amazon: If Shampoo have anything to do with Ranma changing forever into girl, Shampoo agree to drink potion, to change forever into cat. Okay?"

Akane looked at her critically for a moment, then nodded. "Okay. So what do we do now?"

Ranma smiled. "Isn't it obvious? If the Amazons know a cure for this, then we're going to China."

"And if Cologne's there?"

The smile vanished. "Then I show her what I'm _really_ capable of."

***

Ranma silently packed her items in the bedroom, selecting for maximum usage with minimum weight. Extra clothing was barely a necessity; the tent would be better, though she never really needed it. Other supplies were packed in rapid succession, as basics such as extra food and matches made their way into the backpack. The packing done, she looked around the room, looking for something... anything she might have missed.

Sighing, she moved back, and leaned against the wall. She didn't want to admit it to anyone, especially Akane, but she was honestly scared. Sure, she'd been in worse situations before... but this one just felt different. There were no challenges, no condemnations, nothing to indicate a way out. All that she knew was that her curse was overcoming her, and that the person responsible hadn't come forward.

The more she thought about it, the more she suspected it wasn't Cologne. The old ghoul was crafty, to be sure, and had the know-how to pull it off; however, she was also very manipulative, and bargained like a devil. If she had done it, Ranma would have known that day what was happening to her, and how quickly she had to marry Shampoo to get out of it. No... there was definitely something else going on.

Biting her lip, Ranma pulled out a small box, and opened it. Gold glittered in the sunlight, as the simple bands reflected the morning's glory. They weren't flashy, weren't expensive... just two simple wedding rings, with declarations of love on the inside.

Saying a quiet promise to herself, Ranma closed the box, and stowed it in her backpack. Once she was cured, they'd exchange vows right then and there. It didn't matter if it was at Tokyo, Jusenkyo, or the Amazon Village; she loved Akane, and Akane her. And they would seal it for all time... once she was cured. She hefted the backpack, and walked out the bedroom. She was about to go downstairs when she heard Akane call her.

"Um... Ranma? Can we talk for a moment?" Ranma blinked; her voice sounded... timid.

"Sure." She turned around, and walked into her room.

The instant she walked in, she found herself on the receiving end of a bear hug. Akane held onto her tightly, the shaking in her arms letting Ranma know how much she didn't want to let go. Ranma reciprocated the hug as best she could; there were still some things she wasn't used to in her body.

"I'm so scared..." she whispered.

Ranma swallowed. She hated everything about this situation... but she couldn't tell Akane that. "Don't worry, Akane. We'll get through this. I promise."

"But what if..."

Ranma gave a cocky grin - one she couldn't see, but was largely for her own benefit. "Akane, I am a guy. Even if I don't get through this, I'll always be a guy. Never forget that."

Akane shivered inside her grasp. "I... I won't. I just wish..."

"I know." Ranma stroked her hair gently. The smell of cherry blossoms danced at the edge of her memory. "We'll get married soon enough. I promise."

"Okay." A sniffling sound made itself heard next to Ranma's ear. The two ended the embrace, and stood staring at each other.

"Are the others ready?" Akane asked, picking up a backpack.

Ranma shook her head. "I dunno. I hope so... we've got a long road ahead of us." She took Akane's hand in her own, and led her downstairs.

***

Shampoo leaned against the stern-end railing of the ship, watching as the morning sun rose from a perfect horizon. The seas were calm, for once; no storm sought to topple them this day. Occasionally a bird would fly by, migrating from one place to another; beyond that, the South China Sea was their only companion.

Once again, she was saying goodbye to a place she had come to regard as home. She had needed the past two years in this barbarian land, to break her spirit, to show her failure... and to bring her up, to be forged anew. If she survived the journey, she would be, without a doubt, the premier warrior in the village - and a skilled leader as well.

If she survived the journey, that is.

If her great-grandmother had truly turned her back on them all, then she was worse than dead. Cologne's cursing of her had been a warning to her, a message to prove herself strong... or face the punishment Ranma now endured. The council had warned her of the consequences of any future mistakes. If she had truly been deemed unworthy...

No. That will not be, she told herself. Her Hibachan would not be so petty as to strike uselessly. If there were a method to Ranma's punishment, she would think differently. Great-grandmother never struck without good reason. Here, there was no reason, no threats, no bargains, no promises... just a woman where a man should be, and far too many questions to answer.

"Lovely sunrise, isn't it?"

She turned around. Tofu was busy replacing his glasses with sunglasses, to shield his eyes from the light.

"Hai." Shampoo scratched her nails along the railing. "How Ranma?"

Tofu shook his head. "Quiet." He moved over to the railing. "Too quiet. I think the change got to him, this time."

Shampoo sighed. "Potion is worst punishment Amazons offer. It get to _anyone_."

Tofu bit his lip. "Were there any other instances of the potion being used?"

Shampoo shrugged. "Once or twice, though person not last long. They use cold water so fast that it lock them quickly." She put a hand on Tofu's shoulder. "What Ranma do if... no find cure?"

Tofu's response was a shake of the head. "I don't know, Shampoo. I don't know." He gave a soft, weak chuckle. "How are things between you and the tribe?"

She winced. "Shampoo not know. If Shampoo say 'run', you run, okay?"

"That bad, huh?" He looked so tired in the morning light; only she knew how much time he'd spent in search of a cure. "Well... hopefully they'll show three women some mercy."

She put a hand on Tofu's shoulder. "Hopefully they show _two_ women mercy."

Tofu grinned, stretching dark lines on his face. "Hopefully, Shampoo... hopefully." The two stood there together on the boat, admiring the sun until it burned brightly in the sky.

***

The valley stretched out below Akane's field of vision, as bright green grass and dark, rich soil framed gleaming pools of sapphire. Bamboo shoots stood sentinel over the pools, daring any adventurous visitor to come closer. Forests and small mountains ringed parts of the valley, guardians trying to shield any who might come to drink.... and be forever changed.

Jusenkyo.

"A cursed place, full of many tragic stories." The guide's words from her first visit came to her, soon followed by her own memories. Here, Kiima had forced one of her greatest fears on her - drowning - and used it to steal her very self. There were nights when she woke up, screaming, as she remembered the comfortable light slipping away, the burning in her lungs growing... the shock as she breathed and found, not life-giving air, but water...

"Not exactly the most luxurious of vacation spots, is it?"

She looked over toward Ranma... her fiance. For once, her expression was unreadable; ruby lips were tensed into a thin line, and her blue eyes mirrored the mysterious waters below them. The redhead looked around for a moment, as if expecting something to happen, then moved away from the cliff.

"Come on. We've got work to do." Ranma adjusted the fit of her backpack, and moved down into the valley. Akane and the others moved to follow.

"Wait." Ranma turned around to face them. "Akane, Tofu, stay back. I don't want either of you getting curses over me."

Akane fumed at the comment, but kept her cool, mainly because Ranma was right for once. She'd been stuck in the middle of Jusenkyo before; the idea of being there once again, even with Ranma beside her, gave her shivers. Both she and Tofu began to hang back by a few feet, making sure that Ranma and Shampoo were the only ones to go near the pools.

If anything, Jusenkyo looked even more impressive from the ground. Pools stretched as far as the eye could see, lines of blue in an earthy landscape. Each one had its own tragic story - a story that could tell itself, if a person looked hard enough. It wasn't difficult to imagine a sixteen-year-old Saotome Ranma leaping onto the bamboo poles in savage delight, ready to conquer whatever challenge resided here.

She heard a shuffling from the hut, and noticed the guide and his daughter coming to greet them. They looked in better shape than they had been; Plum had grown up quite a bit in the past year, while the guide was... well... content seemed to be the word.

"Ah... Welcome!" He waved to the group in greeting, then frowned. "Why you still girl?"

Ranma sighed, a vent for a rising temper. "Some... other people disrupted the wedding. In the ensuing mess, the water was drunk."

The guide simply nodded. "I see... So you come here for cure?"

Ranma turned her eyes toward the pools; Akane swore that a tear rolled down one eye. "If I can, sir. If I can."

Plum walked up to the person who'd saved her, and frowned. "What wrong, Ranma?"

Ranma took a deep breath. "Something's wrong with my curse, Plum. I... I'm hoping a splash of Nannichuan will fix it."

The guide nodded, understanding. "Come this way." He looked over to Shampoo. "You wish for cure as well?"

Shampoo shook her head. "No want cure. Is Amazon punishment. Shampoo will stay Amazon, if can."

"As you wish. Come. We cure, if can." Akane watched as Ranma followed the guide through the springs, a strange meandering path as they walked around various pools of horror. Ranma nearly lost her footing on one occasion, a move that paralyzed Akane in fear, before the two stopped in front of one spring.

She watched the two of them talk for a minute; she was out of casual earshot, and couldn't make out what was said. She wondered if it was the 'tragic story' that the guide made his living on knowing, or if it involved more mundane concerns. Tragic stories did exist, after all... at the moment, she was engaged to one.

She took in a deep breath when Ranma jumped feet-first into the spring. A prayer came to her lips, a plea for a cure... for relief... for anything to ease her fiance's pain. He'd suffered enough; he shouldn't have to suffer more. And, for that moment of prayer, no sound was heard in the valley.

Then she heard the scream.

Ranma's scream was unlike anything she'd heard before. It was primal, animal, a wail of pure agony... the cry of someone out of their rational mind. Water splashed around the Nannichuan; anyone within the splash radius would be changed easily.

Then he slipped under again, and stunned silence returned.

She caught a blur of brown, and turned to her right. Tofu was leaping along the bamboo poles, his urgency showing in his rapid, precise movements and his disregard for his own form. There in seconds, he dived quietly into the Nannichuan, like an Olympian.

A few seconds later, he broke the surface of the pool. Ranma was twitching in his arms... still female. He touched a point on Ranma's neck, and her struggles ceased. It took another moment for him to drag her out of the pool.

Akane stood, helpless, as Tofu and the guide manipulated Ranma's form. She could barely hear their exchange; at any rate, it was in Mandarin, a language she didn't know. After a moment, they hefted Ranma's form, and ran to one of the other pools, near the edge.

It didn't take much for Akane to guess which one.

Tofu dropped the body halfway into the pool, then hesitated for a moment. She knew why; if Tofu dived in, he would find himself with a whole new set of problems. After a second's thought, he moved to fall in.

"Wait!" she shouted. She knew it was crazy; if truth be known, she was terrified. She moved next to Tofu, and took the body from him. She shuddered; she could feel the water tingling against her skin...

"Grab my hand."

Tofu blinked at her for a moment, then got the idea. He took her hand, and began to lower her in. She took a deep breath as she descended into the spring... into the darkness.

Ranma's form still twitched in her sleep; whatever had been done to her didn't like the idea of a Nannichuan cure. She felt the struggling cease as she eased herself in. She tried to swallow her fear, the sinking feeling inside... and relaxed. Soon, her body was immersed into the water, Tofu's grip the only think keeping her in the world.

As soon as it was done, she felt Tofu tug on her arm. She climbed out of the water, still holding Ranma tight, and fell onto the ground.

"Thank you, Akane." Tofu's voice came from the darkness; she didn't want to open her eyes. Plum came over, and handed towels out to them.

"What happened?" she croaked.

Tofu looked downward. "According to the guide, it rejected Ranma's attempt at a cure. It... It seemed to be working at first, then... fought back."

Akane swallowed, and looked up at him. "Fought back? You mean..."

The guide took off his hat. "Ranma given curse punishment, yes?"

She sighed. She didn't like this one bit. "Yes."

The guide shook his head. "Jusenkyo alone no cure for that. That curse strong, is part of person inside and out."

Akane bit her lip. "Do you know of any cure for it?"

The guide only shook his head. "Only two people use punishment: Musk and Nyuchiezu. Talk to them."

Akane moved over next to Ranma's form. She moved her hand out to her fiance's, and grabbed it with all of her might.

Because... she was afraid that, one day, she would have to let go.

***

Hatred was a strange thing, Ranma thought as she watched the clouds roll in. Sometimes it started from almost nothing, a little slight against one person that would be quickly forgiven. Time would roll on, things happen... then that 'little slight' wouldn't seem so little. She'd known people devastated by her or her father's mistakes, and seen them deal with the hatred in various ways.

Right now, she had so much hatred inside of herself, it frightened her. And, worse, she had no clue as to what to do with it. She hated Mr. Tendo, for using the Nannichuan like a bargaining chip, and for treating her like some prize to be won. She hated Ryouga and Mousse, for trying to steal the cure from her, and for turning her life into some battle. She hated Happousai and his glomps, and hated Cologne for her underhanded tricks. She hated her father for taking her here, for the Nekoken, for selling her to the highest bidder...

And, most of all, she hated herself. For not being strong enough to do something about it. For not being man enough to show her face to Mother for so long. For listening to all of these idiots who gave her advice, no matter how sage or informed.

She hated herself for being a goddamn woman, and not having the strength to change back.

Her eyes turned back to the inside. Plum and Akane sat in a corner, playing a card game together. She never would have thought it, but Akane was remarkably skilled with children; the impatience she showed with the rest of the world faded in a child's eyes. The tomboy would make a great mother one day.

She only prayed she'd get the chance to father them. This should have been their honeymoon, not some desperate gamble for a cure. And, unless some success turned up elsewhere, she'd never get that chance.

The rain started to come down onto the valley, first in quiet droplets, then opening into a true storm. Ranma always hated the rain; after all, she could never feel truly complete there. Now, for the first time in too long, the rain was calling to her, beckoning her outside.

Without a word, Ranma exited the hut and stood outside. The raindrops flecked against her body, one by one, each drop slowly drenching her. She didn't care about getting wet; she just wanted to feel something, _anything_ to let her know she was alive, that she could still sense what went on around her. The wind chilled her, the icy droplets tore at her skin... but she didn't care. In the heart of the storm, she was alive, in a way she hadn't been in a long time.

The complex kata came to her, guided by the inky darkness in her heart, urging for an outlet... pleading for a purge. She started slowly, not totally sure of the movements in her form, then melted into it, as she found a natural rhythm to go with. In moments, she was attacking the wind with savage ferocity, each cut daring it, almost pleading with it to take away whatever she had left - if it had the courage. Her bones were cold enough to shiver, the wind threatened to knock her off-balance at critical junctures, but she would not give in, never give up... never, ever. She had lost too much already.

All too soon, the kata was over. She bowed to the rain, thanking it for its defiance, then moved into position for another round, this one even more difficult than the last. Only one of them would be standing at the end, and she'd make damn sure that it would be her.

***

Kasumi folded the last of the clothing, and set it down on the pile next to her. She picked up the clothing, walked to her father's bedroom, and placed it in a drawer. She slid the drawer closed slowly, and looked at the clock.

Nine-thirty. She was done with all of the chores, and it wasn't even time to start lunch yet.

To put it simply, the silence around the place was oppressive. Ranma and Akane were away on their trip. Nabiki was immersed in college entrance exams and was virtually unapproachable, day or night. With them effectively gone, the chaos had vanished, and she could finish her cleaning in record time.

Truth to tell, she preferred the chaos. It let her know that she was alive, that she wasn't some dried-up old maid stuck caring for her father and sisters. With Ranma's 'friends' coming over regularly, she could _feel_, and know that her life was of some importance. Insanity had become her link to sanity; conversely, mundane existence threatened her to madness. When there was nothing going on, it took much of her self-control to keep from snapping at her father and Mr. Saotome.

Not that they didn't deserve it, of course...

She paused, and remembered a regular source of chaos around the Tendo home. It was a place she'd been told not to clean up; after all, the person in there knew better how to take care of the room than she did. She usually left him alone, just like he wanted. Unfortunately, he hadn't been around lately, and didn't feel like bothering anyone.

Right now, she was too bored to care. Even if it meant getting felt up, at least it'd be more interesting than her father's inaction. She knocked on the attic door.

"Master? Are you in there?"

Silence. For a moment, she considered just going back and finding a good book to read, but thought better. Besides, chances are, the place needed cleaning up. She opened the door a crack to make sure he wasn't up and about, then pushed it open.

Something was very wrong. The panties he so prized were strewn about the room, the byproduct of some whirlwind - or a fight. Books and tomes - his second-most-valued possessions - were scattered about in a haphazard way. Some ancient ones were crumpled to dust from the exertions.

Instinctively, she walked over to the walls. She knew what to look for: a place where the dirt was less thick than usual. It took her a moment, but she found it - a smudge mark where someone had placed their hands.

The dust was thin, almost nonexistent... but it was there. Whatever had happened hadn't been that long ago - a week or two, at most.

Taking one look at the mess around her, Kasumi nearly fell down the attic steps and ran to get her father. This was something that would not be good to clean up immediately.

***

"Ranma? It time."

Ranma looked up at Shampoo, and tried to ignore the knotting in her stomach. This was her best chance at a cure; at the same time, it could cost Shampoo's life. Going into the Amazon meeting room was a roll of the dice; she could end up saved, or could damn them all. She rose from her seat, and entered.

The decor in the meeting room was not what Ranma would have envisioned. It was essentially someone's living area, with chairs and tables thrown around for simple utility's sake. Even the furniture was ordinary; there were no valuable antiques to speak of in the home, no useless knickknacks set here and there for its own sake. It was a far cry from what she'd expected; somehow, she'd pictured the Elders of the village to meet in a more venerable place.

The Elders themselves, on the other hand...

Even being in the room with them was disconcerting. Hawklike eyes stared back at her from the tables and chairs, each one seeming to examine every fiber of her being. This group of a dozen or so carried within themselves supreme confidence; she had no doubts that they'd be able to pull off a Mouko Takabisha easily. Some were hearty warriors, veterans of the battlefield, while others were withered, though by no means decrepit. To a woman, these people were used to rulership, and carried themselves with the quiet defiance of the world that comes with it.

Unconsciously, Ranma swallowed. She really didn't want to get these people angry.

One of the group, an ancient member casually sipping on her tea, spoke in Mandarin. Ranma didn't know what was said, but Shampoo stood up and made some sort of quick reply.

"Very well." Ranma blinked; the old crone had spoken Japanese. "We will converse in this... tongue, in deference to our guests." She took another sip of her tea. "Now. What is it that you wish to discuss?"

Shampoo cleared her throat. "First, would like know if Elders ordered punishment on Ranma."

A soft murmuring came from the crowd in reply. "We have no idea what you are talking about, Shan Pu. We ordered no such punitive measures. May I ask what was done to the outsider?"

Shampoo hesitated, then spoke quickly in Mandarin. The reaction was instantaneous; the Elders' reactions bordered on somewhere between outrage and disbelief. After a moment of this, the old woman (the leader of the group, apparently) spoke up.

"Silence!" The old woman glared at the group, cowering most of them into submission. "Shan Pu, this is a... very delicate matter. To hear that our most serious form of punishment was used without our permission gives us cause for concern. This, along with Khu Lon's disappearance, leaves us in a difficult situation." She gestured over to Ranma. "How long has it been since the second curse took hold?"

Ranma took a deep breath. "Two weeks. During that time, I have only changed twice."

The Elder nodded at this news. "And you seek a possible cure from us?"

She swallowed. "Yes, Ma'am. I do."

The old woman closed her eyes. "Shan Pu, leave us. We must speak to Ranma alone."

Ranma felt like going with Shampoo as she left; the idea of being alone in front of the Elders scared her.

"Ranma."

She turned to the Chief Elder.

"Ranma, there are a couple of things that you should know about the Jusenkyo punishment."

Ranma nodded. She could feel it inside, see it in their faces... "There's no cure, right?"

The old woman sighed. "There is no cure that we know of. Most of our notes concerning the procedure were stolen from us decades ago. A young man tore through our village then, vandalized and tormented our fellow warriors, and stole various objects before leaving. This man, I take it, needs no introduction to one of the Musabetsu Kaketou."

Ranma looked down at her hands. She flexed them, wishing they were filled with someone's neck. "Happousai."

She flinched at the glares from the women. "Correct, Ranma. A few of the elder warriors of the time knew the formula by heart, and were able to transcribe it into our notes; however, the original scrolls are gone from us. If there were any cure to it, it would have been on those." The old woman got up from her chair, and moved to face her.

"Ranma, if there is any cure to be found, it is with the Musk. We stole the formula from them centuries ago; if anyone knows a cure, it would be them. However, I do not hold much hope for you. The formula was made without a cure in mind; it was intended to give a fate worse than death." She took Ranma aside. "I gather that you view your predicament as precisely that?"

Ranma blushed; she didn't want to answer. "Well..."

"It's all right, Ranma. I imagine that, were I changed into a man, I would view it in much the same way. I can only hope that, if you do not find your cure, you will at least come to find womanhood bearable. It isn't as bad as you think, after all."

Ranma swallowed. "I... I dunno... I mean, Akane -"

"You love her, don't you? We have guessed as much from Khu Lon's correspondence."

"Yes," Ranma whispered. "Yes, I do."

The old woman was sad for a moment. "I have no easy answers for that. Loving someone in a way foreign to instinct is difficult at best. She may continue to love you as a woman. Then again, she may grow away from you, and choose to leave. That is the way of love - we concern ourselves too much with the physical, and not enough on the spiritual." She began to lead Ranma toward the door. "At any rate, Saotome Ranma, if you ever find the world of men to be unbearable, remember that you are always welcome here - as a fellow warrior among us."

Ranma blinked. "You're offering me a place in the village?"

"If you want it." She smiled quietly. "We understand that you will want to search more before even thinking about it. However, if you find that fate has chosen this life for you, remember us - and that we will welcome you with open arms."

The redhead took a deep breath. "What about Shampoo?"

The old woman smiled, and opened the door. "Things have changed, Ranma. Her past mistakes are in the past."

Ranma looked at the group of them. Most had taken to talking amongst themselves; the rest sat there quietly, gazing on her with those piercing eyes. Truth to tell, they were impressive - a person would be hard pressed to find a better assembly of warriors anywhere - but the place was not for her. They were women, who gloried in their gender and who took pride in a matriarchal heritage. She was a man, always was, always would be - regardless of what body she wore.

If it came down to it, she'd die before embracing her curse.

"I... I'll think about it - if I don't find a cure. But don't bet on it."

The old woman smiled, seeming to laugh in Ranma's lie. "We know, Ranma. We know."

***

Akane had never felt so alone.

She sat in the guestroom at Shampoo's house, diary in hand, her pen wet with potential... but with nothing coming. She didn't even know how to describe it. In the past twenty-four hours, she'd watched as her fiance nearly drowned in Nannichuan's waters, then stood silently outside the Elders' meeting as Ranma was told the news; that they didn't know the cure, and that any cure was unlikely.

Ranma was cursed to become a woman... and she didn't know how to take it.

How often had she joked about the curse? How many times did she splash him to get revenge on something? She felt like kicking herself for every time. It had been so innocent then... so temporary. All it took was a splash of hot water, and _he_ was back.

It would never be innocent again, she knew. Even if Ranma did find a cure, she'd never view the curse in the same way. The curse should never have been treated as a game - and it would never be again, if she had another chance. She wouldn't splash him, make fun of him... he never wanted the curse, and didn't deserve the abuse from her for it.

She closed the book, and set it aside. Too many sins were in there.

"Akane?"

She turned to the door, wide-eyed. Ranma - RANMA - stood there, his mouth twisted in that cocky grin she adored.

"Ra... Ranma?" She got up, almost afraid to touch him. She thought it was a dream, it had to be a dream oh God, please let it not be a dream...

"Akane, I don't have long. I... can feel it ready to change me right now."

Akane swallowed, and moved to touch him. She felt his hard chest between her hands, and quickly snuggled in. "I... why?"

"The Elders said that I probably won't be able to change for much longer. Also... I have to leave you in the morning."

Akane glared at him. She was _not_ leaving his side, not now! "I don't care how dangerous it is, Ranma. I'm going with you."

Ranma shook his head. She could see the beads of sweat on his forehead. "Akane, you can't go where I'm going. The Musk are not kind to women. They may be kind to me, due to my past. But... I can't protect you there, Akane."

"O... Okay, Ranma." She wanted to plead with him, to tell him he was wrong, that she could go with him... but saw it disappear in his blue eyes. "Ranma... just hold me. For now, just hold me."

Ranma nodded uncertainly. His hands moved to her cheek, brushing away tears she didn't know were there. She felt him cup her chin, and bring her lips close. The kiss tasted slightly of fish; it was warm, inviting... she never thought it would taste so good, or so precious. In a moment, they were melded together, two bodies moving in synchronicity. It seemed the most natural thing to Akane in the world, this moment of sharing... this peace.

The first tremor came; she could feel Ranma fighting for control, holding on to what little remained of his physical manhood. She tasted salt; she wasn't sure if the tears were hers or his. The arms around hers shook, and began to change shape even as they held her. She could feel the physical changes in Ranma, as the chest she leaned on began to soften. Ranma still held on, though she could feel him fading. She could feel the teeth inside his mouth changing, shifting positions and shapes...

Akane broke off the kiss when she noticed Ranma not responding. She touched the lips one last time with her fingertips, wishing she could feel them one more time... then lay Ranma's body down on the floor. She waited until the changes were complete, then moved into a corner of the room to cry... to mourn.

***

The morning was a somber one; the sky was a solid gray, and rain drizzled down onto the group. Occasionally a bird could be heard tending its young in the distance; beyond that, the woods around the village were eerily silent. The five that met outside that early morning were also silent; if a word was spoken, then it would release emotions nobody was ready for.

Akane held onto Ranma's hand; it felt strange with her hand encompassing someone else's, but didn't mind. She knew it would probably be the last time she would see Ranma for awhile, and she wanted to enjoy what time she had left. She rubbed a finger along Ranma's thumb, and tried to smile.

"Well... I guess this is it." She grimaced; the words were so... inadequate.

Ranma smiled gently, appreciating them all the same. "For awhile, anyway." She cupped Akane's chin in her hands. "I... I love you, Akane. I will be back - I promise." She then kissed Akane gently on the lips.

Akane swallowed; it hurt to even speak. "Ranma... I'll be waiting." She took a step backwards. "Be careful when you're searching, okay?"

Ranma nodded in reply. "I will, Akane. I'll see you soon." She touched Akane's hand once before turning to Tofu. "You got the instructions on the water, right?"

"Of course." The doctor scratched his head. "Though why you want those rules followed is beyond me."

"It isn't that hard to figure out, once you find out why." Ranma hefted her backpack. "Shampoo, I'll probably stop in for a visit once I'm done."

"Okay," Shampoo whispered. She walked up, and kissed Ranma on the cheek. "Take care."

He turned to Shampoo's father, their host throughout their visit. "Sir, your hospitality was excellent. Thank you."

"My pleasure." He bowed in humility, as men were wont to toward women in the village.

Ranma sighed, and set his eyes toward the open road. "See you later, everyone." Trying not to make eye contact with anyone, Ranma walked off. Akane knew why; Ranma hated to show anyone that she was crying. She watched, heart breaking, as Ranma walked slowly down the road, her backpack seeming to swamp her, until finally disappearing over a small hill.

Akane stared at the place where she had vanished for a long time. She brought her jacket in closer, and hugged herself for security. Warm hands grasped her shoulders from behind, startling her.

"Don't worry, Akane," Tofu whispered. "He'll come back." He brought her in close, for a friendly hug. "He'll come back."

As Akane leaned into Tofu's embrace, she found something she'd been aching for since the previous night. She slowly buried her face into Tofu's chest, and let out a low, almost musical sob.

***

Hibiki Ryouga coughed nervously, and adjusted the collar of his shirt. He still wasn't sure how he was going to do this; sometimes it was difficult for him to say what he wanted to... what he needed to.

Still, this was inevitable. Ever since she'd bared her feelings to him, ever since she'd known what sort of heart beat inside... he knew this day would come. The benefits far outweighed the risks, he knew... but that didn't make it any easier. He had to lay his very essence out to the woman he loved... and hope she wouldn't reject him outright.

He spotted her in the courtyard, and his heart skipped a beat. She was a vision to a wanderer like him, an oasis in a desert far too bug for his liking. She sat on a rock overlooking the pond, occasionally throwing rocks in, and watching the ripples come forth. She seemed so lost, so forlorn. She'd been that way for the past week, ever since she'd returned from her trip, as he'd watched her from his pig's eye view. He walked up to her, human once more, and bowed deeply.

"Akane, can I talk to you for a moment?"

She blinked at him for a moment, then smiled. "Ryouga! I've been wanting to talk to you! How are things going between you and Akari?"

Ryouga looked downward, obviously avoiding her gaze. "Not... not well. We had a fight the last time I was there, and that was months ago."

Her eyes saddened for a moment. "I'm sorry to hear that. You two seemed like a nice couple."

Ryouga shuffled his feet. "Yeah, well... she didn't want a husband. She wanted a pet."

Akane chuckled lightly. "Surely it wasn't that bad, Ryouga. You're probably just exaggerating a bit."

He shook his head, remembering the moments of their last fight. "No, Akane... it's over." He walked over, and sat next to her. "Akane, there's something I need to talk to you about."

She blinked. "What about?"

Ryouga inched closer to her. "Akane... before I start, I just want to say I'm sorry. What I did was wrong, and not in the actions of an honorable warrior. I hurt you, I hurt Ranma... I hurt everyone around me."

She gasped. "Ryouga..."

Unheeding, Ryouga continued. "And the worst part of it was that I couldn't stop! I felt so comfortable here, inside your home... it all happened so fast that I had dishonored myself before I could do anything about it. And, by then, I was too afraid to stop. I was afraid that I would disappoint you, Akane." He threw a rock into the pond. "I understand if you decide not to help me, Akane. After what I did, I am no man, and don't deserve to be."

Akane ran a hand along her dress, smoothing out the wrinkles. "What is it, Ryouga?"

Ryouga moved off of the rock, placing an envelope there as he left. "When I chased Ranma after he... after I didn't make our duel, I followed him all the way to China."

She blinked for a moment, then remembered what Tofu had said about the water. "Jusenkyo?"

He nodded. "I came at precisely the wrong day. Ranma was in a berserker fury thanks to being cursed, and he... unwittingly knocked me into a spring."

Her dark eyes stared at him fearfully. "What do you change into, Ryouga?"

He took a deep breath. "Twelve hundred years ago, a small black piglet wandered into Jusenkyo, and drowned in one of the springs there."

"What?" The question was flat, without pity - and it nearly caused Ryouga to falter.

He sighed. "I... I am P-chan, Akane." With that, Ryouga walked into the spring - and vanished inside his clothes. He struggled to find his way through the wet fabric, even though part of him wanted to stay. He could hear her screams from underwater; to say she was angry was an understatement.

A sharp pain jabbed at the back of his head, and he fought for consciousness. His head rang with cathedral's bells; he guessed she'd thrown a rock at him. Perhaps it would be best if he died here...

He felt large hands picking him up; was he being saved, or being taken to a better place? This didn't feel like dying... he struggled to keep conscious, to figure out what was happening to him.

The hand laid him down on the grass; it felt so soft, so cool... his vision was returning, along with what hearing he had. He turned toward a large shape swiftly retreating from him.

"...I'm sorry, Ryouga... so sorry..."

It was time for him to leave, he decided. Once he got his bearings, he'd find some hot water, pick up his things, and go on a long training trip. It was no more than he deserved; he was no longer a man, and didn't deserve the cure.

Sighing, he lay down on the ground, and closed his eyes. All he needed was a bit of rest, and he would be on his way.

***

Herb, Lord of the Musk, was not a patient man. Throughout his life, he had been tasked in ways that would break a lesser man, all to learn the rules of rulership. Every day had been spent honing his skills, preparing for the day when he would be forced to take up the mantle of leadership. Even then, the honor was nearly denied him, after a freak accident at Jusenkyo left him stuck in female form. He'd nearly been forced to abdicate then; only through secrecy and determination was he able to win his manhood (and the throne) back.

Now, he was forced to listen to someone in a similar position... someone who, like him, had no concept of patience. He looked at the request for herbs, frowned for a moment due to the recipe's potency, then looked up at the person requesting them.

"Ranma, may I see the scroll you got this from?"

The scroll was handed to him, which he quickly unrolled. He glanced through it, found the description of the potion, then sighed.

"Ranma, are you aware of what this formula is capable of?"

He was not surprised by Ranma's reaction - indeed, he'd seen it the last time Ranma tried a potion. He knew the desperate emotions of her situation. Ranma would try anything now - as long as it stood a chance of curing her. "Yes, I am. Right now it's the only shot I have left. Time's running out; you know that as well as I do."

Herb sighed, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Ranma was right; the longer the punishment stayed unchecked, the more likely it was to stay. But to use _that_ formula for a cure... "Ranma, this is dangerous. Some might even say suicidal. This potion is as likely to kill you as cure you."

Ranma nodded in reply - exactly what he would have done. "I know. Believe me, I know. But... I would rather take that risk and die than continue living like this." The man-turned-woman walked to a window, and looked outside. "Do you know how hard it is to live in this form? How demeaning it is to even look in a mirror? Right now I should be married, and enjoying life with Akane. Instead... instead I'm here, a thousand miles away from her, in a body that neither of us can love." She turned to look at him. Ranma was truly desperate; Herb could tell by the eyes. "It ends now, Herb. I've tried everything else. I... I'd rather she mourned a dead body than a live one."

Herb's voice remained even - the product of years of court discipline. "As you wish, Ranma. However, this time one of my men will watch you prepare it, to make sure you do it right this time."

"Okay." Ranma was action again; she paced around the room. "I'll be ready to prepare it tonight. Will that be fine?"

"Of course." Herb rose from his seat, and moved to the door. "Come. It is time for us to eat." He hoped that Ranma would at least enjoy the meal. After all, it was likely to be his last.

***

Warmth surrounded Ryouga's body; it felt inviting, almost naughty to feel so good. A dull headache rang in his mind, one rapidly fading in the warmth. He decided to chance opening his eyes; he cracked his left eye open, and waited for the light to fade.

He blinked, as he found himself in familiar surroundings. To be honest, he didn't expect to wake up in Akane's room, not after what had happened before. He looked down; he was human. Funny... he didn't remember changing back...

"Oh, you're awake."

His head turned sharply. Kasumi was standing to one side, placing some clothes in Akane's dresser. He coughed; he wasn't sure as to his status here.

"Um... Kasumi?"

Kasumi finished putting the clothes away, and smiled vacuously. "Yes?"

He pulled the covers off of himself, and sat up. "What was Akane's mood when I was brought in the house?"

Kasumi walked over, and put a hand on his shoulder. "Ryouga, I think you need to go talk to Akane as soon as possible. She was pretty upset at you, for some reason. Also, she's been so lonely since Ranma left." She sat down next to him.

"You told her last night, didn't you?"

Ryouga blinked. "How did you know?"

Kasumi fingered his trademark headband. "I may not know much about Jusenkyo, but I know a lot about fabrics. And your little pattern here is very distinctive." She sighed, and grabbed his hand.

"Ryouga, I don't know why you and Ranma have been angry. What I do know is that you need to put it aside. Akane needs your help - and she doesn't need someone who holds a grudge on her fiance hanging around with her."

He stuttered, trying to bring objections to his lips. "But... But Ranma..."

"But Ranma's hundreds of miles away, trying to search for a cure. You should know he doesn't deserve something like that. And his fiancee doesn't deserve to be going through what she is."

Ryouga swallowed, remembering the time when he'd been stuck - and how Ranma tried to help him back. "No... no, they don't." He coughed nervously. "Where is she?"

"She's in the living room, watching television." She gripped his hand tightly. "Good luck, Ryouga." She led Ryouga out of the room, and left him at the edge of the living area. He could hear Akane's breathing at the other side, along with the droning of some television show.

Perhaps at no other point in his life did he really want to get lost.

Steeling himself, he walked into the room. He sat down several feet away from her, to give her some comforting distance. He tried to make sense of the television show; it was some sort of drama that he never had a taste for.

"Um... Akane?"

He looked over at her. Tear streaks ran down her cheeks; her eyes were puffy and red from crying. There was a possibility that it was from the story... but he seriously doubted it. "Akane?"

She wiped her eyes with a quick, annoyed flourish, and turned to face him. "Ryouga, I... I wanted to apologize."

He blinked. "You... want to... but I..."

"Don't remind me," Akane said, her voice icy cold. "What you did was wrong, and I still don't know how to feel about it." She traced her finger along the ground, her shell fading. "But... what I did was wrong, too."

Ryouga shook his head. "How could you do something wrong, Akane? I was the one who -"

Akane's hand silenced his words. "When I found out... what you'd done, I was so angry... I threw a rock into the water, hoping... WANTING to hurt you, for what you'd done. And I... I did something I vowed I'd never do again."

Ryouga was speechless. "What?"

"I took advantage of your curse. I took you in your weakness and hurt you." She shook her head, clearly trying to fight off the tears. "I... I promised I... would never do... that again. Not after Ranma." She swallowed, and handed him an envelope. "Here. It's the permission you need to get the water."

He swallowed, and took the envelope. "You... love him, don't you?"

She nodded slowly. "I do... and now... now he might not be back... or he could be stuck forever... and I'd... and he'd... Ohgod, Ryouga, what am I gonna do?" She degenerated into tears with her words, turning away so he couldn't see her face.

"A... Akane?"

"Leave me alone, Ryouga!" The voice calmed. "Please... I... I don't..."

Ryouga held his ground for a moment, unsure of what to do. He knew better than to touch her; he'd already violated her space too many times before. Instead, he hovered over her, trying to offer whatever comfort he could.

"A... Akane, it'll be all right. Ranma's gotten through worse stuff before, right?" He winced; his voice sounded so... phony. "Remember when that Herb guy came for a visit, and he got stuck? He got through it then, didn't he?" Ryouga smiled as he saw her nod. "You see? He'll get through this." His eyes drifted to the television, as the hero and heroine faced some family crisis. "He always does."

***

Akane sat down at the table carefully, her stomach tied in knots. Ever since she'd heard about the attic, a storm of emotions had hovered over her like a cloud. She hated Happousai for what she did, for letting his perversions distort him into something to be reviled - and feared. At the same time, the attic held some hope: if Tofu found the scroll with the poison on it, perhaps a cure could be found.

She glanced around, at the others around the table. Her father sat on one side, Nabiki and Kasumi flanking him. None of them were smiling; that couldn't be a good sign. The Saotomes were on the other side, for once holding each other close.

Finally, on the opposite end, was Dr. Tofu. He was calm, surprisingly calm for the situation; then again, he was calm when Mom died, too. He coughed once, and looked down at the scroll in his hands.

"Well, I looked through the scrolls that were left in Happousai's room. I... most of the scrolls were of a medicinal nature, so I'm going to be busy with them for awhile. However, upon just skimming through them, I found this." He unrolled the scroll, and laid it down on the table.

"This was found in the middle of the pile, so I hadn't thought it would be important. However, when I looked through it, I found that it gave the formula, as well as its effect on someone cursed and non-cursed."

Akane looked down at her hands. "Is there a cure?"

Her heart broke when she saw Tofu's eyes. "Akane... I don't think so. There is one mentioned; unfortunately, it must be used within days after ingesting the punishment for it to be effective." Tofu looked over at the others. "Do you mind if Akane and I speak alone?"

The others nodded their assent. Akane didn't fight as she was led out into the backyard. She startled when Tofu wrapped his arms around her.

"Akane, I... I'm sorry. I don't think there's going to be a way out this time. I... if I had found that scroll earlier, we might have been able to cure him."

Akane's eyes blinked furiously. She didn't want to believe, didn't want to even think about... about... "D... Doctor, what does this mean? For Ranma and I, I mean?"

He shook his head. "That is up to you. Ranma... as far as I can tell, Ranma will be a woman for the rest of her life, regardless of anything that any of us do." He tried to smile. "I will look at the other scrolls, though, to see if they might tell me anything different."

Her eyes darted around the grass, looking for something. Anything. "What about... I mean, I've heard of operations where they..."

Tofu sighed. "Those will work - but only superficially. What you would have is a barely five-foot, redheaded, slim-looking man, who could not have children."

Akane shivered. "Then... then there's nothing we can do."

She felt hard hands over her shoulders. "Akane, I... I will continue to try to find a solution. Don't give up yet. But also... be prepared, in case Ranma or I don't succeed."

They were quiet for a moment, as words remained poised on their tongues.

"What are you going to do? If he can't change back, I mean."

Akane bit her lip. She didn't want to hear that question. "Tofu, I... I don't know. I love the man inside, but..."

"...but you're not physically attracted to his cursed form, are you?"

She hated the answer. She knew it was wrong, that she shouldn't be so concerned with sexuality and personal appearance and public opinion... but she was. God help her, she was. Unable to say the words, unable to vocally curse her fiance, she shook her head.

Tofu stepped back for a moment. He nodded sadly, almost as though heunderstood. "Well then. You have to make a decision, Akane. You have to decide which you care about more." He slowly walked away from her. "I'll be talking with the others about what I have left to do, Akane. I'll see you later."

Unconsciously, she straightened up, trying to look more like the woman she wanted to be. "Thank you, Doctor." She watched him walk inside, wishing she was woman enough to go in there with him... but knowing that she had a long way to go before she could claim such a distinction.

***

The little restaurant was nestled in one of Kobe's suburbs, a quiet town where people worked their darnedest to keep a feeling of community, even while the city tried to force its impersonalization on them. The houses just being built weren't quite ostentatious yet, the parks were nothing compared to the wilderness nearby, and the community group was still a strong influence to be felt. It tried to make itself feel like a home, even while outsiders coming in wished to be left alone.

It was here, for all the reasons above, that Kuonji Ukyou decided to make her new home.

The okonomiyaki chef hummed a tune as she whipped up the orders, her spatula zinging across the metal surface. All was right with the world; all she had was a close friend to help her, a grill to make her living, and no more obligations - to anyone. She'd given up on everyone else; either they wanted something from her, or just felt like taking from her when they wanted.

Well, she'd had enough of that. Here in the 'burbs she could just escape, be one of a faceless crowd even while rejoicing to the crowd's music. She could be friends with someone for an hour and have no regrets.

The door chime rang its soulless tune; both she and Konatsu turned to greet them. Konatsu finished his greeting, but hers died in her throat, soon to be replaced by more colorful greetings.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Ukyou spat. "I thought I told you... you..." Her words died as she got a look at the guest.

Ranma, for perhaps the only time in her life, _looked_ sick. The belt was tied tightly around her waist; muscles once well-toned on Ranma's cursed form were weakened... normal. Her face was a pasty white; dark circles were drawn beneath her eyes. She moved with the care of a person uncertain on her feet.

"What happened to you?" Ukyou whispered.

Ranma moved to the table, and set her backpack down. "I... wasn't feeling well for awhile. I'm better now, but I'm still trying to get over its effects." She smiled. "You look well."

"No thanks to you." Ukyou moved to another section of the grill. "What do you want?"

The redhead pulled her backpack closer to her, and pulled out some money. "One shrimp 'yaki, traditional style, with some green tea to drink."

Ukyou stared at the money for a moment. Ranma had never offered to pay for her food before. Of course, Ukyou had never asked her to. "All right," she said evenly. "One shrimp 'yaki, coming up." Her hands became a blur on the grill as she fixed Ranma's meal. In a moment, the food was ready, and she served it to her onetime fiance. She took the money, handed Ranma the change, then fixed an even glare on her.

"Okay. So why are you _really_ here?"

Ranma sighed. She reached into her backpack, and pulled out an envelope. "I know it may not be much, but I am trying to atone for what Pop and I did."

Ukyou blinked, and fought back her anger. "What's in this, huh? Money? Some deed to something your dad cheated out of someone else?" She threw the envelope on the counter. "Ranchan, there's nothing you can do. I lost my family and ten years of my life because of you, and there isn't enough money in the world to atone for that." She turned back to the grill. "The only thing you could give me is your life, Ranchan, and someone's already taken that."

She didn't expect Ranma's reaction. The woman was almost in tears at Ukyou's words. "You're right, Ucchan... I don't have a life to give you anymore. Goodbye, Ucchan... and good luck." The redhead picked up her backpack and left, leaving the envelope behind.

Ukyou stared out in space for a moment, at the envelope that Ranma had left behind. It took her a few minutes to open it. She was startled at the amount of money that fell out of it; it was enough to pay for several yatai, and would give her business the capital boost she'd been waiting for. After reading the letter, though, she didn't feel like celebrating.

She was right; Ranma didn't have a life to give to her anymore. But for once, she desperately wished she were wrong.

***

Ryouga rubbed a finger along the edge of the envelope, feeling its comforting presence in his hands. He twirled it around, trying to do something to keep him from thinking. If he actually stopped to consider what he was doing, he wouldn't do it - and, more than anything, this was something he had to do.

He walked up to the door, his eyes never leaving his target. He could see the bright duck with her name written in English letters; he knew enough of the language from his travels to know who resided in there. Gathering what courage he had, he reached a hand up to the door, and knocked.

"Come in."

He slid the door open carefully, clearing the entrance to holy ground. Akane sat at her desk, weighing him with neutral eyes.

"What's the problem, Ryouga?"

The lost boy looked at the letter in his hands once more. "This. Akane, I... I can't accept it."

Akane blinked. "Why not? It's your ticket to get the cure. Don't you want it?"

He nodded. The cure meant so much to him... but he knew he wasn't ready. Not yet. "Akane, I've been doing a lot of thinking ever since you left this for me. I... I thought a lot about all the stuff I did, and all of the things I was angry about."

He sighed. "Sometimes I think that our curses were given to us so that we could become who we are supposed to be. Ranma thought he was so manly, so some Nyannichuan came by to show him where he needed to improve. I thought I was so honorable, so mature... when all the time I was just a pig." He handed the letter back to a surprised Akane.

"When I can prove myself as something other than my cursed form, then I'll ask you for it." He lowered his head and turned for the door.

"Ryouga."

He turned back around. "Yes, Akane?"

"Do you know how often I abused Ranma because of his curse?"

Ryouga shook his head. "I was there a couple of times. Beyond that..."

The young woman bit her lip. "I always called him a pervert. I always thought that he got some sort of kick out of being a girl. It took me a long time to realize how much he hated it, how... disgusted he was by the fact that he had this other body to deal with. And now... with what happened... I don't know if I can forgive myself."

The lost boy shuffled his feet for a moment. "I don't think Ranma ever told you this but, for a time, I was stuck as a pig during the Kaisuifuu search. That moment - that agonizing moment when I realized I was stuck, possibly forever - was worse than anything I'd ever been through. That was why... why I helped Ranma on the mountain, once I'd been freed by the Kaisuifuu. Nobody should have to go through that - and their fiancees shouldn't, either."

He took a deep breath, and looked her in the eye. "How are you holding up?"

She shook her head. "I... God, I wish he was here. It's been six months, Ryouga. I'm so afraid he did something stupid... right now I'd accept him as a girl, if it meant having him back..."

Ryouga screwed his eyes shut. "Akane, I... passed by Ucchan's. Apparently Ranma visited there about a month ago, and talked with her for a bit. Ranma was still stuck as a girl, but... but there was something else wrong with her. According to Ukyou... it was as though she'd starved herself for months."

Akane turned pale. "Oh my God... are you sure?"

Ryouga shook his head. "No. None of us will be sure until we see Ranma in the flesh. I just think... you should be ready for the worst."

Akane nodded to him. "Th-thanks, Ryouga." She looked around the room. "Could you turn off the light on your way out? I'd like some time by myself."

Ryouga nodded, trying to keep his sadness at bay. He knew she was going to cry; he felt like crying along with her at the look on her face. "I... I will. Good night, Akane." He switched off the light and shut the door behind him. His first tears came as he heard her first sob; by the time he moved out of earshot, his own were in full torrent.

***

It was raining again.

How goddamn appropriate.

Ranma buttoned the top button of her jacket, and continued on. It was night; the rain shone like diamonds against Tokyo's lights. It would have been a breathtaking sight - if she didn't feel so miserable. Her nose was stuffed up, she was running a fever, she had to go to the bathroom...

She was looking forward to home.

It had been too long of a journey. At first, she didn't want to go home. She had barely survived the last cure attempt; it had taken her awhile to get her strength back. Besides... she needed to get used to the idea of being in this body, and a place without the stereotypes of gender seemed perfect. She wandered throughout Japan and China, much like Ryouga... lost in a lost world. It was nice for awhile but, in the end, she knew she had to come back. No matter how much it hurt, she owed it to them... to her. Besides, the road proved to be an unforgiving home; it was no wonder that Ryouga was so depressed and angry.

She paused, and realized what she was passing. She'd missed months of classes at Furinkan; with college entrance exams coming up in a few months, she'd probably have to work doubly hard just to get in. It wouldn't be easy... then again, nothing in this life was for her. Not anymore. She thought about leaping over the gates, to explore the halls alone before returning, but a passing car splashed her, driving the cold rain deep within her.

Unconsciously, she shivered. It wouldn't be long. She walked away from the gates, and carried on her way. She thought about walking on the fence like she usually did, without a care in the world... but those days were gone, and would never return. She imagined she would have to get used to using the women's facilities - assuming they'd let her. It wasn't like she could go into the guys' locker room anymore...

After too long a walk, she found herself there. The house gleamed with light; she just stared at it from outside for a moment before entering, drinking in the sight. She could hear, very faintly, the sounds of conversation from inside; she was probably missing dinner. They sounded... happy.

They didn't need her breaking up their happiness. She'd just go away for the night, find a nice, dry place to feed herself, and come back in the -

"Ranma?"

She stopped, frozen. Akane stood at the doorway, a garbage bag in her hands. She was still a vision to Ranma's eyes; her face glowed red from the cold, most of her body was bundled up to protect her, but it was still Akane... still her fiancee. Ranma watched her brown eyes, looking for love... acceptance... anything.

Anything to feel like she was home.

She stuttered for a moment; it had been six months, and she'd been wondering what to say for her in all that time. "Hey." Not the best of greetings, but it would have to do.

Akane walked over to Ranma and touched her shoulder, as though convincing herself that what she saw was real. "Ranma... are you..."

Ranma bit her lip. She was not going to cry - not over this. "It didn't work, Akane." Unable to hold it anymore, she grabbed Akane in a tight embrace, holding her like a lifeline. She could feel the tears mixing with the cold rain. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's... it's all right." Akane grabbed hold of her, tight enough to crush her still-weakened form. "I... we'll discuss it tomorrow." She relaxed the embrace, enough for Ranma to look her in the eye.

"Welcome home, Ranma."

She swallowed. "It's... good to be back, Akane. I've missed you."

Ranma didn't complain as Akane led her by the hand. She didn't utter a word as she was pulled into the house... into warmth... into the place where she belonged.

*****************************************************************

II: Spiral

Ranma rose a little later than her usual that morning; in other words, just before dawn. She rolled over, half-expecting to see a panda on the other side, then felt strange at seeing the empty futon. Groaning, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes, and rose to her feet.

Unconsciously, she shook her legs. It still felt strange to her, walking around in someone else's body; part of her hoped it always would. Letting out a long sigh, she walked over to the closet and pulled out a shirt and pants, purposely shoving away a school dress that had been hung up inside. She wanted to get at least some sort of workout before school, to get the kinks out of her system.

Her face fell when she walked outside. The backyard was quiet, almost too quiet for her comfort. She wanted to see her old man waiting for her, a derisive barb urging her on to fight - but she suspected that wasn't going to happen anymore. Sighing, she got into the opening position of some kata, and began to fight the shadows.

Sometimes she wondered why she practiced anymore. The last attempt at a cure had nearly cost her life; it had also cost her much of her strength. She was still stronger and faster than most, but she wasn't anywhere near as good as she had been.

She knew why she practiced, of course. Practice was her only time to feel normal. She couldn't take a bath to relax; any time she got in the hot water, it just made her feel worse. School was a nightmare; yesterday had been her first day back, and she had been forced to sit out of physical education due to the... classification problems. Living in the Tendo home wasn't much better, as each of the other occupants dealt with her change in different ways. To some she was a ghost, to others a girl. Nobody saw her for who she was.

Her exercises ended all too soon, with a call from Kasumi. Pop was living in an apartment with Mom, so any contests for food were done. She sat down quietly at the table and began to eat, purposely ignoring the stares she got from everyone. They acted like she was going to fall apart or something over this.

Well, she wasn't. She was made of stronger stuff than that. She picked up her backpack and moved for the door. A movement caught her ear from behind; Akane was moving to follow.

She didn't walk on the fences. She wasn't in the mood. Instead, she walked among the other mortals, casually shuffling her way to the daily grind.

A hand caught her own, and she stopped.

"Ranma, what are you feeling? Tell me, please."

"I'm fine," she lied.

She could hear Akane inhale. "No, you're not, Ranma. I know you too well. Now please... talk to me, Ranma."

"I said I'm fine, Akane," she said mechanically. "There's nothing I can do about this body right now, so I might as well learn to live with it." She continued on her way to school, purposely ignoring the concerned look on Akane's face... or the emptiness she felt inside.

"Well, if you've decided to live with it..." Ranma stopped. She knew that tone of voice from Akane. "...then maybe we should just throw your old clothes away. After all, if you've resigned yourself to being a girl forever, then maybe it's time you started dressing like one."

That got Ranma's attention. "No way, Akane. No way."

She smiled wickedly. "What's the matter Ranma? Afraid to dress up?"

Ranma took a deep breath. "Akane, I am a guy. I may happen to have this body, but I am a guy." She fixed a cold stare on her fiancee. "Do not ask me that again."

Akane's face fell. "At least I got some sort of reaction out of you, Ranma." She turned away. "I'll see you at school, okay?"

Ranma swallowed. "Okay, Akane." He watched her walk away for a moment, drinking in the sight, wishing for what she should have had... before following her path down the road.

***

For the first time in too long, Saotome Nodoka was at a loss.

She sat on the couch in her living room, staring at a picture - one of better times. Ranma and Akane had only announced their engagement a few days previous, and the family went out to celebrate. Everyone looked so happy then - Ranma held Akane tight, she and Genma looked so proud, even Nabiki seemed happy for once. Choking back tears, she hugged the picture to her chest.

How had it all gone wrong? Ranma was changed forever into her cursed form, with no sign of ever returning to normal. Worse, something had broken in her; gone was the confident, cocky young man she had been so proud of. It was almost as though someone had taken away the best parts of him, leaving what was left to try to cope. And, as her mother, she was obligated to help her through it.

But how? How could she help someone who has lost their very self? How could someone raised to be a man among men be taught to cope with a woman's body, a woman's life?

Then, there were matters of honor. The Tendo engagement still stood as far as she knew, though she would need to talk with them to make sure. There was also the fact that Ranma's new form meant required changes in behavior. Akane had been a bit of a tomboy, and had needed some training in etiquette: now Ranma was in the same boat. Honor demanded that she educate Ranma to be a proper young woman, when eighteen years of life had pushed her in the opposite direction.

It was time for her to unlearn all of that - and she had an idea as to how.

Biting her lip, she hung the picture back on the wall, and straightened her kimono. She had a lot to do, and very little time to do it. She walked over to the phone, and dialed the number. She knew Ranma wouldn't be in; school wouldn't be out for another few hours.

"Hello, Tendo residence."

She smiled. "Hello, Kasumi. How is everything today?"

The sigh on the other end spoke volumes. "Not good, Auntie. Ranma is so depressed after returning. And Akane... she spent the last night breaking bricks to work off her anger." She looked over her shoulder. "Did you want to speak with Father?"

"Oh no! He's the last person I'd like to speak to on this!" She placed the mouthpiece closer. "Kasumi, could you and Akane meet me this evening? I think it's time the three of us had a little talk."

She could hear the thought coming from the other end. "It's about Ranma, right?"

Though no one could see her, she nodded grimly. "Yes. I think it's time that the three of us discussed Ranma's future, while he... she still has one."

Silence hung on the phone for a good ten seconds. "Auntie, what do you have planned for Ranma?"

Nodoka frowned. "I must do as honor demands, Kasumi. I must make sure that personal promises are kept, if at all possible... and to make sure that Ranma is capable of acting as a proper member of the family."

More silence.

"Auntie, I'm not sure if that would be a good idea. After all, Ranma is just getting used to the fact that he has a different body. If you try to push proper manners on him..."

"There isn't a choice, Kasumi. My son is now my daughter, and I have to make sure he's ready to go out into the world." She held her breath for a moment. "Kasumi, I think it best if we discussed this in more detail in person. Do you know of an appropriate time and place?" Nodoka heard the clacking of fingernails against the receiver; Kasumi was clearly thinking hard about this.

"Auntie, I think the two of us should meet at seven o'clock at the Shokaido coffee shop, near the restaurant district. I'll tell Akane to join us at eight. That should give us enough time to discuss this."

Nodoka nodded. It was exactly as she would have done it - if she had disagreed with them on something. "Very well. Try not to let anyone else besides us know about it. This needs to be a girls-only meeting."

"I understand perfectly, Auntie. I'll see you at seven, then."

"Okay, Kasumi. Good-bye."

"Goodbye, Auntie." The empty space replaced Kasumi's voice, and she put the phone down. She had a lot to think about before the meeting that night.

***

The coffee was good - it smelled heavenly, and had enough kick to it for Akane to appreciate. The cheesecake flooded her mouth in creamy goodness, as she let the tasty morsel melt along her tongue. She looked at the pair that had brought her out, causing her to forget momentarily about the cheesecake.

She knew these two. They were the closest people she had to a mother. And, when they weren't smiling, something was very wrong. She took her fork, and drew a picture into the cheesecake's surface.

"So. Why did you bring me out here?"

Kasumi and Nodoka glanced at each other. The uneasy look between them reminded Akane more of the male heads of their respective households. "Would you like to speak first, Auntie? It is your idea, after all."

Nodoka frowned. There was clearly something going on between them. "I believe I should." She stirred her tea lightly, then turned to Akane.

"Akane, it is time we talked to you about your relationship with Ranma."

She nodded. She'd been expecting this. "What is it that's bothering you about it?"

The two looked at each other again; an eyebrow raised on Kasumi's face, while Nodoka's acquired a slight blush. "Well, Akane... we were wondering what your feelings toward my child are - specifically, how you feel about him... her right now, and if you still have any romantic plans."

Akane picked up her coffee cup and tasted a sip, the bitter edge to it giving her courage. "Auntie Saotome, if I could clearly answer that, I would. It's just that things are difficult right now - and not just because of the curse."

"What else is bothering you, Akane?"

"Studying for entrance exams, wondering how I'm going to be able to afford college, the fact that Ranma has barely talked to me since he returned..."

Nodoka reached over the table, and touched Akane's hand. "Akane, Ranma is going through a difficult time right now. She won't accept who she is, and hates herself all the more as a result. As such, I... I think that the three of us need to help Ranma accept who she has become."

Akane absorbed these words for a moment. "You mean... you plan to teach Ranma to be a girl?"

The two sipped their tea in response. "My child was raised to be a proper Japanese citizen, a man among men. The problem is, what Genma taught him included some things that, while masculine, are no longer appropriate for who he... she has become." She put her cup of tea down. "It is now time for me to teach Ranma how to be a woman."

Images of Ranma acting feminine came to her mind - along with the faces of disgust that came later. "Um... Auntie Saotome, I'm not sure if that's a good idea."

Nodoka closed her eyes for a moment. "Akane, believe me when I say this decision does not come easy for me. Right now, my child is dying - and in more ways than one. About all I can do to save him... her now is to try to teach h...er to accept who she has become."

Akane sighed. "Ranma is trying to hold onto whatever manhood is inside of him, to the point of denying anything even remotely feminine inside of him. If you try to force that on him now..."

"I know, Akane. Kasumi and I have argued at length over this very subject. Unfortunately, time and honor do not wait for us. Ranma is slowly retreating into herself, and we need to help her accept her new role in life." Nodoka took a bite of her cake, then continued. "That is one reason why we brought you out here tonight."

"You want me to help out... because I'm his fiancee." She shook her head. "This is crazy."

"Yes, it is, Akane." Kasumi's dark eyes stared through her. "No one should have to go through what you and Ranma have. But... we have to deal with what happened, no matter how much we may dislike it."

She sighed. All of a sudden, cheesecake didn't taste so good anymore. "What's the other reason?"

Kasumi took a sip of her tea. "How do you feel about Ranma now?"

Akane twirled the diamond ring on her hand. "I... I don't know. It hurts me to see him like this. I know he hates his curse so much, and now this..."

"Are you attracted to his cursed form?"

Akane blinked; Kasumi was almost never this direct. It took a full minute before she could answer. "I... no. No, I'm not."

"Do you want to continue the engagement?" Nodoka sipped the last of her tea.

She continued to twirl the ring nervously. "I... I'd like to try. I don't know if I can _love_ this Ranma... but I do love Ranma."

Both of them nodded appreciatively. "We... understand, Akane. Believe me, we do." Kasumi's expression broadened into a secretive grin. "After all, there's nothing quite like a man holding you close, is there? Those strong arms, that hard chest, those soft blue eyes staring through you..."

Akane blinked at her older sister. "K-Kasumi? I... I never thought you would..."

Her older sister smiled, though this time it looked more... mischievous. "Akane, I had to give up a lot to help raise you and Nabiki. That doesn't mean I still don't dream."

Akane chuckled at the idea, then turned to her half-full mug of coffee. "So... we have to get Ranma to become a girl." She felt like crying into her mug at the thought; unfortunately, there was no time for tears. "What do we do first?"

Nodoka smiled gently. "Well..."

***

Ranma stared at the fabric in her hands. It was red, silk, almost like the shirts she preferred. Beautiful gold embroidery decorated the Mandarin-style collar, as did the cuffs and the hem of the dress; however, the overall cut of the outfit was western, as it flared out much like one of Kasumi's dresses. She noted the way it danced in the light, and imagined that it would probably look quite flattering on her. Sighing, she looked up from the outfit, and fit her mother with an all-too-common stare for her.

"Mom, you have _got_ to be kidding."

Her mother looked hurt at the words. "Dear, this outfit is just perfect for you!" She took it from Ranma, and held it out. "Look at it! It's just like those outfits you usually wear."

"With one exception, Mom." Ranma picked up the hem of the dress. "This bottom end wasn't exactly a part of it."

Ranma sighed again; her mother was giving her _that_ stare. "Ranma, this is the twelfth outfit that we've picked out for you, and you don't like any of them!" Nodoka took a deep breath, and calmed herself. "Okay, Ranma. What outfit would you like to wear?"

She looked around. Truth to tell, there wasn't much in this store she did like; most of the clothing was too feminine for her tastes. She looked around for a bit, her eyes scanning until she found something with possibilities.

"How about this?" She held up her prize to the others - a pair of jeans and a bulky shirt.

She could see her mother counting slowly, clearly in an attempt to control her temper. "Ranma, I will not have my daughter running around in anything so... improper."

Ranma closed her own eyes. She felt like crying; however, she would not allow her mother that satisfaction. "Mother, despite current appearances, I am not your daughter. I am still your son. I have been your son since the day I was born, and I will continue to be your son until the day I die, even if I have to do it in this body."

The sigh from her mother was not what she expected. "Well, then. If you have to do it in that body, shouldn't you dress appropriately for your body?"

She thought about retorting about how many guys wore dresses, but thought better. After all, there weren't many guys who had fully-formed breasts, a total lack of facial hair... and a monthly visitor, which at that moment was reminding her just how 'manly' she was. Instead, she opened her eyes, and gave her mother the fiercest of stares.

"Mom, this is not an option."

Kasumi chose that moment to step in, and interceded between the two. "Auntie, I think perhaps we should go. Ranma clearly isn't ready for this yet."

Nodoka frowned. "Perhaps... perhaps you're right, Kasumi. It is a little premature. She does need time to adjust to her new life, after all."

Ranma turned away, not wanting to hear about their plans. Surrenders came one step at a time until there was nothing left; she knew this from her earlier experiences with Jusenkyo. First would come the clothes, all for outward appearances; manners and speech would follow sometime later. Before she would realized what she'd lost, she'd be looking at guys the same way girls looked at her old self. And that was the LAST thing she wanted to do.

She was a guy.

A small teardrop trickled down her cheek; she wiped it away quickly. There was no room in her life for tears - not anymore.

***

"Ranma, I need to talk to you."

Akane caught the redhead by the arm, and whirled her around. She fought to keep her emotions under control; however, it was a losing battle.

"Akane, if it's about the shopping trip-"

"How could you treat your mother like that? She's only trying to help you!"

Ranma simply looked back at her. She swallowed at the blue eyes that stared flatly at her - blue eyes that once laughed, or shone with anger.

She's worse, Akane thought.

"Akane, I don't expect you to understand or to even pretend to understand. Nobody can, not even Ryouga."

"Understand what, Ranma? How can we understand when you won't even talk to us?" She bit back more choice words. "Ranma, we are trying to help you."

Ranma turned away. "The only way you can help me is to leave me alone."

Something flared in Akane at those words. "That's not an option, Ranma." She held up her left hand for Ranma, to show the diamond sparkling in the sunlight. "Remember this, Ranma? I'm trying to keep to my promise, believe me. But it's getting harder and harder to do that." She lowered her hands to grab Ranma's. "Now talk to me, Ranma."

Ranma sighed. "Akane... I don't want to lose what's left of me. And it'd be so easy, too, now that I'm stuck this way."

She blinked. "How would you lose what's left of you?"

Soft lips pursed, a clear indication of Ranma's thoughts. "Back when I was just cursed... I found that I slowly got used to feminine things, if I allowed them to be used for one reason or another. First it was a skirt, usually for some disguise. Then... when Happi came along and made me weak, it was underwear. Eventually, it got to the point that I could pose as a girl easily, without really feeling self-conscious about it." She shook her head. "If I go through that again - if I start to dress and talk like a girl, just for appearances - I'm afraid I won't be able to go back."

Akane swallowed. She could see something in Ranma's eyes now - fear. "So? What's wrong with being a girl? I happen to be one and like it just fine, thank you very much!"

Ranma shook her head. "I can't accept this, Akane. I just can't. If I start to accept this body, then whoever cursed me like this really has beaten me. And I won't be beaten, Akane." Her eyes flared red. "I won't."

Akane moved closer to Ranma. She could feel her own tears threatening, as she wanted to scream at the changed man, tell her how much she already _has_ lost...

"Akane, Ranma! Father and Uncle Saotome would like to talk with you!"

She fixed Ranma with as fierce a stare as she could muster. "We'll talk about this later, Ranma." She walked out of the room, making sure that Ranma's footsteps echoed behind her.

The main living area was about like it always was. It was shut up to keep the warm air inside; she missed the open-air feel of the summertime. Her father and Mr. Saotome sat on one end of the main table, while Nodoka stood nearby. The look on all of their faces spoke of the nature of their business. The two sat down on its opposite end, and looked over at them.

"Akane, Ranma, your parents have been talking of late concerning the future of the dojo." Akane turned to Ranma at Nodoka's words; she could see the desperate look on the girl's face. Seeing the look as well, her father sighed, and took a sip of his tea.

"When I inherited the dojo from my father, I had to perform one final task first. He took me out to the building, and showed me each and every square inch of my inheritance. He showed me where hasty patches had been made, where the roof was leaking, what supports were in need of repair... and then ordered me to fix them. He said that I would have to make the dojo my own before I would be allowed to take in any students."

Soun set the mug down, and fixed a stern gaze on the two of them. "It is now time that I ask the same of you. You both have come of age; it is time for you to prepare your future."

Akane looked over at Ranma. A hundred reasons why not passed between them without a word.

"But, Daddy... it's October! It'll be snowing in a month!" She looked over at Ranma. "Besides, Ranma and I have college exams coming up."

The smile grew beneath his mustache. "Much of the repairs I had to make were also in wintertime. As for your other responsibilities... your parents are quite aware of them. We will not expect you to work during the week; however, we will expect you to put some effort into it during the weekend."

Genma coughed, indicating his wish to speak. "Also, we expect the two of you to work together on the project. You both will be inheriting the dojo; you both should be responsible for repairing it. Besides, it will give the two of you a chance to mend your fences."

Akane stared blankly at Genma for a moment, then realized what their parents were trying to do. She had to admit; it was one of their better schemes. "Okay. When do we start?"

Soun smiled. "Next weekend. We should be able to get the supplies for you by then."

Akane bit her lip, and looked over at Ranma. The young woman had her head bowed; for once, her expression was unreadable. She wanted to be able to understand that face again, to know who it was inside there... to have her Ranma back.

Maybe this way, she could.

"Okay, Daddy. We'll be there."

***

"I'm sorry, Ranma. There is no cure - not anymore."

Ranma clenched her fists, and rested them against her thighs. She'd known... she'd known ever since she'd awoken from the last disastrous attempt... but it still hurt to hear. It made her feel strangely tired... old. "Are you sure? I mean... there must be some sort of amulet or formula or _something_ to cure me..."

Dr. Tofu shook his head. "If I knew of one, Ranma, you'd be the first to hear about it. As it is, I've read just about everything the Musk and Nyuchiezu had to offer. I... I can't find anything helpful, Ranma. I'm sorry."

It hurt for Ranma to swallow. She could feel the wetness in her eyes, wanting to come out... but she couldn't. She just couldn't. "It's... it's okay, Doc." She rubbed her toes along the ground. "Has there been any word on Happousai or Cologne?"

"None," Tofu sighed. "And, with no leads to look up..."

"...they won't get found until someone stumbles across them somewhere." She ground a thumbnail into the palm of her other hand. "Which leaves me like this."

Tofu nodded, and sat down next to her. "I... Kasumi tells me that things haven't been well for you lately."

Ranma snorted. "Gee, whatever gave you that idea?"

"Ranma..." Tofu sighed, and put down his clipboard. "Ranma, how is your mother treating you right now?"

She closed her eyes in frustration. The less she thought about her mother anymore, the better. "How do you think? She keeps on harping about 'family honor', and how I need to act like some stupid girl because I look like one now..."

"Ranma, your relationship with your mother isn't easy, mainly because the two of you are stuck together whether you want it or not. I know I had some difficulties in dealing with my mom when I was your age." The doctor looked over at an eye chart. "Know what I did to solve it?"

Ranma was genuinely curious. "What?"

Tofu smiled mischievously. "I went to college for eight years."

Ranma glowered at him for a moment... but only a moment. "You mean... you became a doctor because you wanted to get away from your mom?"

He shrugged. "Well, she was always trying to marry me off at the first opportunity - something I'm sure you might find familiar. So... I went away to college so that I could live by myself, away from any pressures she might put on me."

She couldn't help but laugh. "Did it work?"

"Not totally... but enough." Tofu smiled at his patient. "How are exams coming?"

Ranma looked downward. "I have a lot to do before I'll be ready for them."

"Then I recommend you get ready for them, young man." He held a hand out to her. "And come by if you ever feel like talking, or whenever things get too rough. Okay?"

The hand was met with enthusiasm. For once, Ranma had someone on her side. "Okay, Doc. I will.

***

Sometimes Kasumi hated her role in life.

Ever since Mother had died, she'd always been the one to try to install some sanity into the family. She'd had to put aside everything she'd dreamed of to raise two little girls... girls who were only a couple of years younger than her. She was the one who cooked instead of studied through school, she was the one who made sure Father had some classes going on in the dojo... and she was the one who had to make sure that the best interests of Tendo Akane were seen to.

Sighing, Kasumi knocked on the door. She smiled at the duck nameplate; at least some things were still around to comfort.

"Come in."

She opened the door. Akane sat at her desk, a book cracked open for study. Kasumi idly noted the subject material, then gestured to the bed.

"Do you mind if we talk?"

Akane turned away from the desk. "Sure, Sis. What about?"

Kasumi wrung her hands together, searching for the most diplomatic way to speak her mind. "Akane... about what Auntie Saotome said earlier about teaching Ranma... I don't think you should concern yourself with it all that much."

Akane blinked. "You don't agree with what she's saying, do you?"

"In a way, I do... and in a way, I don't." She ran a hand along the side of her apron. "I do agree that Ranma should eventually start to act her gender. However, I believe that that will simply come in time, as she adjusts to her condition." She let out a gentle sigh. "Unfortunately, Auntie Saotome doesn't see it that way."

Akane reached around and closed her book. "Kasumi, what are you asking me to do?"

Kasumi bit her lip. "I... think that you should try to work with Ranma to make her feel more... at home as a girl. She needs someone close to her, someone who she can talk with and relate to. Right now, she's so guarded that I don't know if she'll ever come out of it." She got up from the bed, and moved to stare out the window. "Auntie Saotome is going to force this on Ranma whether she likes it or not. To her, it's a matter of honor. What I need you to do is to make sure it's a matter of honor she can live with."

She could hear the tapping of an eraser against the desk - a sure sign of Akane's thoughts. "Well... okay, Sis. I'll try. It's just... right now I can't get through to her. She's so closed off..." A muffled choke came from the desk. "Kasumi, I don't know what to do with her anymore."

Kasumi walked over, and grabbed Akane's hands. "Akane, this dojo idea is probably your best chance. Talk with her. Help her. See to it that, no matter what happens, she isn't alone."

Akane swallowed. "Okay, Kasumi. I... I will."

The young matriarch breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. Now... I do have some ideas for the renovation of the dojo..."

***

The dojo was gone, at least in any way that Akane thought. The shrine she'd bowed to every morning was taken down, as were the various other decorations along the walls. She knew it would be a matter of time before the roof and wall paneling were similarly vanished... like everything else she cherished in life.

Perhaps this was the point of her father's final exercise. So many of life's blessings had been taken from her, just as she'd come to take their gifts for granted. She never expected to ask Daddy when Mommy was coming home, only to meet a torrent of tears. Despite the odds, she never expected to see Ranma, cursed and slightly pale, standing at her doorway like a stray puppy come home. Life gave to her, and life took away.

This, on the other hand, was something she could fight to keep, and do whatever she could to keep running. Unlike illnesses or tragedies, this was something she could do something about, a piece of her to be built and maintained. She was the captain of her fate, for the first time that she could remember, and the prospect was a little frightening.

She walked over to the bare walls, and felt its reassuring hardness. As she looked closer, she could see more closely why she was doing this. The past few years had not been kind to the old place; she could see patches and odd-colored boards from various impromptu demolitions. Already her mind was calculating the repairs required. It would be a long, drawn-out project; fortunately, she had time. She'd been preparing for exams already, so she didn't have to play catch-up like Ranma.

In other words, she'd just been given her final exam, and she licked her lips in anticipation.

"Hello, Akane."

"Ryouga?" She turned around to the entrance. "How have you been?"

"Fine." To Akane's eyes, he was more than fine. For lack of a better term, Ryouga looked at peace. The anger that seemed to twist his face so often was wiped clean, leaving a sad, enigmatic smile in its place. His whole bearing seemed to be relaxed as he casually walked into the dojo.

"That's... good to hear, Ryouga." She shuffled her feet against the wood, and looked around at the dojo. "Did you hear about what's happening with this?"

Ryouga nodded. "Sounds like a fun job - when the weather's warmer, that is." He felt the wooden paneling. "Considering how often Ranma and I trashed the place, it certainly needs it."

The young man looked down at his feet. "How's she doing, by the way?"

Akane blinked. "Ranma? She's... doing about as well as can be expected. She... I don't know. I've never seen her depressed like this before."

"That's why they're called 'curses'," Ryouga said solemnly. "If they were something people wanted, then they would count it a blessing." He leaned against the far wall. "And how about you?"

"Me?" Akane blinked.

"Of course, you. How are you handling what happened?"

She sighed, and leaned against the wall. "I don't know. I still love her, of course, but..."

"But?"

"But I don't know what's going to happen to our relationship now." She turned around, and sat down. "I mean... Ranma's changed, in ways that are more than physical. She's... scared, I guess. Scared of what she's become. I never thought I'd miss Ranma's arrogance or tactlessness... but right now I'd rather have her insult me than just sit there."

"Oh." Ryouga looked down sadly. "Have you tried talking with her?"

Akane nodded. "She's too far inside of herself right now. Her whole life's changed, and she's still trying to figure out what to do with it." She knocked a fist against the wall. "She won't talk to me, Ryouga, and I don't know what to do."

"Just wait, Akane. She'll come around in time - I hope." He looked around for a moment, the light shining in his eyes. "Hey, Akane."

"Yeah?"

"Want me to teach you the Bakusai Tenketsu?" He pointed to the walls.

Akane looked at him for a long moment, and couldn't help but smile. "Okay. But you're helping me clear the pieces..."

***

The chalkboard danced with the symbols of learning: elegantly curved Arabic numerals, sharp root signs, blunt variable letters. The sensei added to the dancers with each word, his fingers scratching across the blackboard like some abstract artist on hard black velvet. He would occasionally turn around to make one comment or another; for the most part, though, his voice echoed from the blackboard to the students behind him.

Ranma sat through the class, trying desperately to stay awake. Before, she would have had no compunctions about sleeping in class; after all, what did a martial artist need with math? Now, though, she had a very good reason for studying in class, and for sitting through this cram school.

To put it simply, she wanted out.

It wasn't easy for her to admit that. She had come to regard the Tendo house as her home; to say goodbye to it would mean letting go of the last of her old life. But... just living at that house anymore hurt too much. She was a stranger in everyone's eyes; as such, everyone was a stranger to her. If it weren't for Akane... she'd have left long ago.

She twirled her pencil on the desk, and frowned. She was so tired; she still hadn't fully recovered from her trip to find a cure, and a part of her feared she never would. Sure, she was still the best; unfortunately, her best was nowhere near what he had been at his peak. To make matters worse, most of her time was drained in either school or the dojo; she missed the idea of free time. Unconsciously, she flexed her hands, wishing for vanished strength.

A commotion at the front got her attention. She watched the professor place the chalk on the tray, the first time in two hours that he'd stopped to rest. Ranma smiled; she'd made it through another session. She noted any scribbles from the professor that she might have missed, jotted them down, and stuffed the notebook in her bag. Now was the time for her to be alone... the only time she could feel alive again. She stood up, and got out of the building as fast as she could.

She grimaced; the icy wind cut at her face, taunting her in her infirmity. Her hand closed the final clasp of her coat, and in an instant she was no longer part of the crowd... but above it. With a couple of well-placed bounds, she was on the rooftops, moving through the night air at high speed.

Of course, like everything else, it didn't feel the same; here, though, she was glad for it. The wind howled around her ears, its uncaring chill seeping the life from her small body. Muscles only recently reconditioned screamed at her efforts, desperately urging her to fall back among the mortals.

She would have none of it. Her old self would have laughed at these conditions; she tried to do so, though all that came out was a shivering chatter. She leapt from one rooftop to another, never stopping, never yielding. She'd yielded before, and it had cost her manhood. She would never, EVER yield again - not to her parents, not to the Tendos, not to anybody... never again.

To put it simply, she couldn't afford to anymore.

She let out an animal groan as she came across a particularly difficult passage; it was a fair distance from one roof to another, and she needed a boost of strength to make the jump. She stepped in just the right place, thrust her legs out just right...

No.

She knew the instant her legs pushed off that she was in trouble. Drained by the cold and her condition, she'd leapt poorly, without the power needed to make the jump properly. There was no rotation to her body during the jump; she was going to meet the roof in a rather unpleasant manner.

Ranma slammed hard against the building, hitting in that edge where roof and wall meet. She howled as her torso was bruised by the hit; there were times when she truly hated her endowments. Fighting back the pain, she reached out to the roof, and managed a handhold. Once she was in control, it was a piece of cake; she pushed off of the wall, and bounced her way down to the surface. She rolled onto the ground, only making whatever movements were necessary to keep from getting injured.

After a moment to check herself, Ranma stood and looked up at the roof. She'd made that jump hundreds of times, back when her body was her own, back before she'd had to risk her life for a cure. Now, though, she was worse than cursed. She was mortal.

She hated that.

Ranma brushed some dust off of her outfit, and began to walk home. Occasionally she would look up at the sky, and wonder exactly when her wings to fly had been cut.

***

*wham* "Baka." *wham* "Baka!" "*WHAM* "BAKA!"

"Enough, Akane!" Ryouga grabbed the hammer out of her hands. "Enough." He looked hard at her. "Now what's wrong?"

The dark-haired beauty let out an exasperated sigh. "Oh... it's Ranma again."

Ryouga lay his own hammer on the ground. This was a story he'd heard before - too many times before. "What did she do this time?"

Akane started to gesture with her hands, as though her movements would translate into concepts. "We... took her shopping again yesterday."

"And how did that go?"

Akane sat down next to the half-finished wall. "How do you think? She tried on everything that her mother gave her, said she didn't want any of them, then walked over to the men's section to look. She was rude, inconsiderate... it frightens me anymore, Ryouga. I know her mother's pushing her a little hard, but..."

The lost boy sighed, and adjusted the fit of his bandanna. This was a story he'd heard before. For a moment, he wondered if Ranma was doing it on purpose, just to get everyone she loved away from her. After all, he would have done the same - and did to an extent, after being given the Heitonnichuan curse. "A... Akane, Ranma's just going through a difficult time right now. I mean... she's having to come to terms with so many things at once that it's overwhelming her." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Akane, have you considered the possibility of backing off of the fashion lessons for awhile?"

Akane blinked. Apparently she was lost in her own little world. "Huh?"

Ryouga sighed. "Akane, right now Ranma thinks of herself as a man. She's been raised not just to be a man, but a 'man among men', an example of masculinity for others around her. Now... all of a sudden, those same people who were encouraging her to be manly want her to go in the opposite direction."

He sat down next to her, and tried to give his best smile. "Akane, how would you feel if you suddenly found yourself to be a guy, and had everyone around you forcing you to act as manly as you could?"

She sighed. "I... I wouldn't know how to take it. I mean..." She broke off, then stared at him. "That's the point you're trying to make, isn't it? Ranma can't take what we're doing to her."

Ryouga nodded. "Unfortunately, by the sound of things, it seems like her mother isn't bending on this."

Akane just shook her head. "Auntie Saotome may be a wonderful lady, but she's about as bad as her husband at raising Ranma sometimes."

"Hmmm. That is a problem." Ryouga took off his bandanna, and wiped his forehead. "Have you considered trying to get him...er, her... to do feminine things she might like?"

Akane just looked at him.

"Um... good point." The lost boy sighed, and threw a nail across the room and into a bucket.

"Akane, somehow, you need to get Ranma accustomed to the fact that she is female. I don't know how; knowing her, there may be no way to. But... I think the more you include her in whatever you're doing, the better off she'll be."

He looked in Akane's eyes. The gears were turning inside; he could see them through her glassy stare. She was getting ideas - the better for both her and Ranma. "Okay, Ryouga. I... I don't know if it'll work, but I'll try. She probably won't be willing to do anything until after entrance exams at the very least."

Something clicked inside Ryouga at Akane's words. "Um... shouldn't you be studying right now?"

Akane nodded. "Probably. I've been preparing for nearly a year now, though, so I can afford a little time to build. Ranma, on the other hand, needs all the time she can get." She got up, and winked at him. "Fortunately, what I have planned for her shouldn't take too long."

***

Akane wiped her sweaty palms along her skirt, and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes focused on every detail, from that small scar near her right cheekbone to the way her bangs fell down her forehead. She looked at the eyes that stared back at her, and asked herself the question no one else could.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Swallowing, she focused her emotions on what she was about to do. She reminded herself constantly that it was a guy she was going to meet, the man that she had fallen in love with, and had pledged her life to.

She just had to remember that when Ranma's flesh was pressed against hers.

Grimacing, she walked out of her room and down the hallway. She could hear Ranma in her room, a borrowed stereo turned on to help her study. Akane bit her lip; she knew how hard Ranma had been working lately, and wondered if perhaps this wasn't too much of an intrusion. Ranma had a lot of catching up to do, and she wanted to make sure, even though her past wasn't anything to write home about, that Ranma's future would be the best one possible. She knocked tentatively, then slid the door open.

"Ranma?"

"Hmmm?" Ranma looked up from the book she was reading. Akane swallowed; those eyes were still so pure, so beautiful... even if the body they were attached to was different. She never took her eyes off of Ranma's as she walked toward her.

"Ranma... I'd like to talk. About our relationship."

Ranma, for her part, looked surprised - and nervous. "Um... what about, Akane?"

Akane knelt down next to her, and cupped Ranma's chin in her hands. "About... certain things. It's been lonely in the past year, you know..."

Ranma nearly jumped out of her skin. "Akane? Are you feeling all right?"

"Never better," Akane sighed huskily. She could see it; Ranma was getting excited. "And... I wanted to share the moment with you."

"With... me?" Ranma squeaked. Akane could see that Ranma was getting aroused; her nipples were starting to poke out.

"Yes, you. You are my fiance, right?" She advanced on Ranma like a panther stalking prey; Ranma looked like a delectable piece of meat to be sampled.

"Well, yeah, but..."

Akane put a finger to Ranma's lips. "No buts, Ranma. I want you. I want you now. I want to show you just what it's like to be made love to." She let her finger trace down to Ranma's neck, while her mouth kept Ranma silent.

Strange the differences between bodies, Akane thought. She knew that Ranma changed on a basic level with the curse; she never imagined how much, though. The redhead's teeth felt different as her tongue played with Ranma's; the skin beneath her fingertips was soft, almost like a baby's. She could feel Ranma's mammaries gently pressing against her own; it made her somewhat envious, as she'd always been self-conscious about her chest size. She lowered her hands slightly, and began to slip the buttons away.

"Um... Akane..." Ranma managed in between kisses.

"No words, Ranma. No words." Akane moved another button away, and slid her fingers inside Ranma's shirt. She gently teased at the edges of Ranma's left breast, running her fingernail along the areola line. She could feel Ranma shuddering beneath her; her ministrations were having the desired effect. Sure, it wouldn't be as enjoyable as if they were man and woman, but... she couldn't be picky.

It was time for her to up the ante, she decided. Giving one last lazy circle around Ranma's breast, she moved to her own shirt, and began to take it off.

"Um... Akane, I don't think we should do this now," Ranma breathed. Akane watched Ranma's eyes widen as they followed her hands, down... down... She struggled with the last button, and tossed her shirt open with a flourish.

"What's the matter, Ranma? Don't like what you see?"

"Um... Yes! I mean... Dammit, Akane..." Ranma moved to her chest, and began to button her shirt. "Akane, I'm not ready for this."

The dark-haired woman sighed. The mood was lost. "Then when will you be ready, Ranma?"

Ranma shook her head. "I don't know. Things are so strange now... and I'm still not sure how to deal with it."

Akane backed up, and began to button her blouse. She fumbled with a couple of them; her hands were shaking. "Ranma, I know this is difficult on you. But it's been four months. You need to get over it, and get on with your life."

The redhead didn't say a word; her head shook in response. Akane stood up, and finished adjusting her outfit.

"Ranma... I... I love you. We all do. Please remember that - before you find all of us gone."

Ranma looked up at her with eyes like a trapped deer. Words hovered on her lips; all that came out were twitches and quivering. Not wanting to look, not wanting to do anything, Akane walked out of the room. She needed something to break.

***

The dress fit around Ranma's frame lightly, its soft fabric tickling the skin of her calves. She played with the collar; it felt a little tight on her, though, considering the size of most of her current clothing, that was to be expected. A frown came to her face as she examined the cuffs; they weren't meant to be rolled up, like she often did with her shirts. Forcing down her revulsion, not listening to the part of her that said how good the dress felt around her, Ranma turned around to face the mirror.

Much as she hated to admit it, she looked pretty. The forest-green cotton matched the red of her hair, and flattered her lithe frame perfectly. It wasn't particularly overly-feminine liked Kasumi preferred, nor was it some sexy man-catching outfit. It was simply a dress.

And that was the problem. It was a dress, a symbol of womanhood the world over. As good as it felt on her, as good as it looked on her, it didn't belong on her. And, if she had anything to say about it, she'd never wear any sort of dress again.

Mustering up what resolve she had, she walked out of the dressing room, to where Kasumi, Akane, and Nodoka were waiting. She knew their reaction to the outfit; they'd give some exposition on how pretty it was on her, or how it matched her eyes, or how it flattered her figure... and how she just _had_ to get it. She almost felt like bringing a baton anymore, and conducting their statements as though the trio were some orchestra.

"Ohhh... it looks beautiful on you, Ranma!" Kasumi started this particular round of compliments, and swiftly turned to Nodoka. "This would be perfect for the Christmas party!"

Nodoka nodded her agreement, then walked over to the redhead. "Oh, Ranma. You look so much like I did at your age. You look just beautiful."

Akane approached her from the side, and appraised her carefully. "Gotta admit, Ranma: I'm envious." She walked closer, kissed Ranma on the cheek, and whispered into her ear. "Please..."

Ranma stiffened. "Mom... I can't wear this."

The sighs of exasperation came in response, just like they always did. "Ranma, we have been through this before. The Christmas party is in two weeks, and I am _not_ going to have my daughter looking like some tomboy!" She looked over to the side. "Besides, Akane approves of it. Don't you want to look good for her?"

"No. Not if it means looking like some stupid girl." She stormed back into the dressing room, and slipped out of the dress as fast as she could. It took longer than she wanted; she fumbled with the buttons on the dress, and nearly ripped her own shirt while putting it on. She came back out, handed the dress to her mother, and purposely turned away from her.

"I'm going home, Mom. Have fun shopping." She headed for the exit in as fast a polite walk as she dared.

Akane was not so polite.

"What do you think you're doing, Ranma?" she hissed, matching Ranma's stride. "Can't you at least humor your mother for Christmas?"

Ranma stopped, and turned to her. "No. I can't give in even the slightest inch, Akane. I am a guy. I have to tell myself that every time I get up in the morning, every time I go to the toilet, and every time I take a bath. And I _can't_ let some stupid party that my mom and Kasumi are planning get in the way of that."

Akane closed her eyes, apparently to control her temper. "Ranma, I am sick and tired of hearing you complain about this. You are a girl. Not a guy, not a guy in a girl's body, a GIRL. Nothing you can do will change it; you tried, and it nearly got you killed." Softening, she reached out to grab Ranma's hands. "Please, Ranma. Give up. I like you as a girl. Just please... let go, before you hurt yourself any more."

Ranma almost broke. She could see the pleading in those dark eyes, the desire for her to be in one piece again... but it was too late. Far too late.

"You don't understand." She shook herself from Akane's grip, and continued out of the store. She managed to make it to the subway before she started crying; even then, all that came out was a solitary tear.

***

There were few things as rewarding as the taste of warm soup.

Akane sipped the broth gently, allowing each drop to pass over her taste buds. She could feel the first sip trickle down her throat, spreading a warm glow through her insides. It was almost painful once the warmth faded; it was addictive, almost like a drug.

There was nothing quite like Kasumi's cooking; she knew exactly what was needed to warm up after a freezing-cold day. She reluctantly set the bowl down, and reached for her rice.

"So, Auntie. What are you planning on doing tomorrow?"

Nodoka smiled. "Kasumi and I are going out by ourselves. We were thinking of looking for some things for Ranma to wear." Her grin faltered. "It is clear that Ranma isn't willing to cooperate with us, so we have to act on our own."

Akane coughed. "Um... Auntie, aren't you pushing this a little too far? I mean, it's fairly obvious that Ranma doesn't -"

"There isn't a choice anymore, Akane. If Ranma is to become the woman she needs to be, then we must start educating her now."

Akane bit her lip. "It's just that I think that Ranma needs some time to come into it on her own." Nodoka was about to make a reply; her mouth was open when she was interrupted.

"What the hell is this doing in my closet?" She turned around, to find Ranma standing there. Forest-green fabric lay in her hands.

Akane gulped. Ranma was _not_ happy.

Nodoka, for her part, remained cool. "That is the dress that you WILL wear for Christmas. Is that understood?"

"Not by me, it isn't!" Ranma clenched her fists, stretching the garment nearly to tearing. "I am not going to go around prancing in some silly dress just because some foreigners decided that December 25 made for a good holiday!"

Nodoka set her soup down, and closed her eyes. "Ranma, I will not have my daughter dressed up like some vagabond!"

Akane blinked; Ranma tried to hold her temper in a manner almost identical to her mother. "Mother, I have said this a thousand times before. I am a guy. I will not wear any sort of girl's clothing while I live."

"Ranma, you will wear that dress, and that is final!" Nodoka's voice was positively icy. "None of us have a choice as to what gender we get to be. Fate has decreed that you are now my daughter, and, as such, I expect you to live up to your responsibilities."

Ranma growled. "Fate? You want to see fate?" She ripped the dress in her hands. "That's fate, Mom. I make my fate. And I will fight this to my dying day."

"Ranma!" Akane shouted. "What are you doing?"

Akane realized her mistake the instant she said it. Ranma whirled around, the focus of her anger changing. "And you! You're trying to help them change me! What is it with you? Do you want a girl for a husband?"

Akane fought back her own anger. "What I _want_... is for some peace around here! All I hear from you is 'how you're a guy' and 'how your life stinks'. Well guess what, Ranma: fifty percent of everybody have to live their lives as girls. Just because you happen to be one of them doesn't mean the world's coming to an end."

"How do you know?" Ranma shot back. "Have you ever been a guy? Do you know what it's like to miss all that?" He looked down at her. "Of course, if you had, that would explain your tomboy nature!"

Akane shook. She couldn't think of anything to say. Her fiancee had just insulted her in the worst possible way. Her voice couldn't go beyond a whisper. "Damn you, Ranma. Damn you..." She ran out before anything else could be said.

Now, more than ever, she just wanted out.

***

The streets of Nerima were quiet; most people had already gone to bed, leaving dogs and cats to sound their calls throughout the neighborhood. Fluorescent lamps illuminated the ground, casting the snow in a harsh blue-white glow. Occasionally some dog would complain to the world its chilled state, its mournful howls cutting through the silence.

The streets never looked so desolate, Akane thought. All the life of the city seemed to have evaporated. She tried to imagine Kodachi running over the rooftops, or Shampoo making some late-night delivery, or Ukyou and Konatsu closing up shop... but it would never happen again - not like before. All of them had left this mecca, and gone on to other places, other lives.

It was so quiet now that she felt like screaming, just to break the tension.

She looked up, and noticed where she had wandered to. She needed a friend to talk to, and she could see that friend's light in the window. Careful not to slip on the ice, Akane walked over to the house, and rang the doorbell. She waited for a moment at the door, as shuffling occurred inside, and tried to force a smile.

"Akane?" Sayuri gasped on opening the door. Akane sighed; she must look a fright, with tear streaks frozen along her face and everything. She stepped aside, allowing Akane to enter.

"What's wrong, Akane?"

The young woman just shook her head. She wasn't even sure how to explain it. "It's... there was a fight at home. With Ranma."

She could feel Sayuri look over every inch of her. "Just a sec, Akane. Let me put some tea on, okay?" Sayuri ran back to the kitchen, leaving Akane alone to gather herself. She looked at the assorted knickknacks in the living room, trying to lose her thoughts in their quiet, useless beauty.

"Okay. What happened, Akane?"

Akane turned around, as Sayuri set a tea tray down filled with snacks. She waited for Sayuri to pour the tea. Words started to come to her as the warm liquid poured down her throat.

"We... a few days ago, Kasumi, Auntie Saotome, and I took Ranma out shopping. Ranma's mom wanted to get her a nice outfit for the Christmas party we've been planning. Ranma... didn't like the idea of wearing a dress."

Sayuri nodded. "Tell me about it. I thought she'd die when they made her change in the girls' locker room."

Akane took another reassuring sip of her tea. "Anyway, there was this one that looked just great on Ranma... but that she absolutely refused to get. So... after she ran off, Auntie Saotome bought the dress and put it in her closet."

Sayuri put a hand to her forehead. "Don't tell me... Ranma found the dress hanging there, and had a fit."

"To put it mildly. Ranma was yelling at everyone. She ripped the dress to shreds, even got into Kasumi's face... and into mine." She shook her head. "I... I can't take this anymore. I don't even know her anymore."

Sayuri reached over, and put her hands over Akane's wrists. "Akane, do you love Ranma? Do you honestly love her?"

After a moment's thought, Akane nodded. "It's just so hard anymore..."

"Then it's time you let it go."

Akane blinked. "Huh?"

Sayuri sighed. "I think that you should just stop being her fiancee for awhile... and just be her friend."

"What good will that do?" Akane set her tea down. "She refuses to accept what's happened."

"For now, she has." Sayuri put her own cup down. "But what about later? What then? Do you want so much bitterness and hatred between the two of you that you never want to speak to each other again?"

Akane shook her head. "No... No."

"Then let her go. Be her friend for now, even try to be her older sister, but don't be anything more. If she comes around and you want to start over with her, then go ahead."

Protests tried to make their way to Akane's lips. "But..."

"Akane, Ranma's dead. There's nothing you can do about it. However, what you can do is help this new girl come to life. And that won't happen if you keep on holding on to Ranma's ghost."

Akane picked up her glass of tea, and stared at her reflection in the greenish waters. There was a part of her that still rebelled, still wanted to have Ranma by her side forever... "I... I'll try, Sayuri. It's just that letting go may be difficult."

Sayuri cocked an eyebrow. "Just as it's difficult for Ranma, ne?"

Akane traced a finger along the rim. She didn't want to let go... but there was no other choice. Not anymore. She took a sip of her tea, noting its slightly bitter tang.

"Ne."

***

On the other side of Nerima, a lonely woman walked. Red hair, shining under the lampglow, hung over her face, obscuring what was beneath. Shoulders slumped as the figure walked along the streets, and sandals shuffled along the icy path.

She didn't know what to do anymore. She'd talked to them, she'd pleaded with them, she'd threatened them... but they just refused to accept it. They wanted to make some girl out of her, no matter what she thought, no matter how she was raised.

She was a guy. No matter what her body may be, she would always be a guy. She spent the first sixteen years of her life as one in every way; just because the body changed didn't mean that everything else should. Sighing, she kicked a stray can in the road, and continued on.

Truth to tell, she didn't know what to make of any of them anymore. Her mother would be urging her to try on a dress one minute, then encouraging her to be closer to Akane the next. Her father was a panda so often now it was hard to tell whether he was a parent or a pet, while Soun wavered between silent stoicism and crying fits. Kasumi had become Mom's co-conspirator, even going so far as to refer to her as 'Ranma-chan'. Akane...

Akane.

She could feel the distance growing between them, and it hurt. There was once a time when they knew each other so deeply it was hard to keep secrets; now, the woman who wore her ring was a stranger to her. In some ways she was just like the other women of the dojo, always pushing her to act or dress more feminine.

Did she want a woman for her husband?

Sighing, she looked up, the light shining in her eyes. There was so much that she wanted, so much that she wished would just go away. She never wanted this curse, she never wanted this body, and she most certainly didn't want the life her family was thrusting onto her. She hated what she was doing to them, unfortunately, she also hated what they were trying to do to her. Why couldn't they just leave her as she was?

The answers that came to her weren't to her liking. None made sense; most were byproducts of paranoia, and one or two she couldn't even classify as anything other than perverse. She wanted nothing of this existence, and the effects of it were getting to her.

Which was why she was studying so hard for exams. Those exams were her ticket out, her way of escaping whatever her mother had planned. Once she got into some college away from Nerima, she could show Akane just how much man she was. There would be nobody pressuring her to do anything; she'd be living in the strange, often-legendary life of a college student, and anything she wanted to do could - and would - be done.

Her face fixing in a mask of resolve, Ranma cast her gaze forward, and started the journey for home. There was still some studying to do that night, and she'd be damned if it would all end up in vain.

***

The morning light shone in Akane's eyes, rousing her from slumber. She blinked at the light; normally, it was the alarm clock that woke her up. She paused and looked at her surroundings, taking into mind the events of the previous night.

The emotions were still there. She could feel the outrage at Ranma's rantings, the helplessness as Ranma ripped up any decency she had left along with that dress... and the horrible, deafening quiet that came afterwards, once she had stormed off.

She never thought she would hear her own heart break.

At least she understood why Sayuri had said what she did. Ranma was so hurt at the moment that she couldn't help but hurt everyone around her. If Akane did continue with the emotional attachment between fiancees, there would be no chance of them even speaking to each other, let alone getting together. On the other hand, as a friend, she actually stood a chance of helping Ranma without getting too entangled in her barbs.

"How are you feeling today, Akane?"

She turned inside of herself for a moment. Already she could feel the scars begin to heal. "Great, Sayuri. Just great."

***

"Ranma, we must talk."

Ranma winced. She'd been expecting this ever since that blowup a few days previous. "Yeah, Mom?"

Nodoka's gaze burned into her. "Ranma, I don't care what you say to me. I am your mother; I am simply trying to do what is best for you. I know you have some deep-rooted desire to hurt all around you for what's happened, and I am trying to understand that."

Her form seemed to loom over Ranma. "But you are never, EVER to treat your fiancee like that. What you said to her was entirely uncalled for. Do you understand, Ranma?"

"Yeah, yeah..." Ranma dismissed the words casually, then instantly regretted it.

"Ranma, have you given any thought to what Akane's going through right now? She sees you hurt like this, and is trying to help, and all you can do is yell at her! Do you know how hard it's been standing by you ever since you came back? She's been trying as hard as she can to not leave... and you go off and pull a stunt like this."

Ranma looked downward. She thought about Akane, and what had happened. True enough, she had been trying whatever she could to get her to open up. Problem is, she was afraid of what would happen if she did. "O... okay, Mom. I... there are some things I can't do - not yet. However, I will try to talk with her. Okay?"

Nodoka nodded, her anger receding. "Good." She reached over and hugged Ranma. "All I want is the best for you and Akane. I wish things could be different for the two of you."

Ranma fought to contain the emotions inside; she felt like breaking down in her mother's arms. "I... I know, Mom. I know." She looked at her mother, a hard glint in her eye. "I will make it up to everyone when this is all done. I promise. It's just that right now..."

To Ranma's surprise, Nodoka chuckled slightly. "We know, Ranma." She broke off the embrace, and pushed Ranma's bangs back. "You know I don't want a daughter. I just want someone who is happy with who she is. I know that must sound like the worst thing to you right now."

"Well..."

"Give it time, Ranma. You may find that being a woman isn't as bad as you think." She sat back, and gave her child an approving stare. "And, when you do come to that conclusion, let me know. It's difficult for a woman to learn on her own - and I would like to at least teach that woman some things..."

Ranma snorted. She didn't approve of a lot of what her mom said, but at least she wasn't being forced into anything anymore. "_If_ it happens... I'll let you know. Okay?"

Her mother gave an enigmatic grin, as though she knew something Ranma didn't. "Okay."

***

Akane still wasn't sure why she was doing this.

Here she was, in a coffeehouse somewhere in Ginza, drinking some thousand-yen brew with a guy whose claim to fame was getting lost, a guy who'd betrayed her trust so long ago. He stared nervously back at her, and fidgeted in his seat.

"So, Akane. Um... why did you bring me out here?"

She tried to smile, though even she could tell it looked phony.

"Ryouga... first of all, I wanted to thank you for helping me with the dojo. It was really nice of you."

She looked down at his coffee cup, as it began to crack under pressure. "Thanks, A-Akane." He took out a napkin to wipe his hand off. "It was no problem."

Akane rubbed her hands against her own cup, trying to find comfort in its warmth. Once she said what she needed to say... there was no turning back. Unfortunately, she had to tell someone - and her former pet seemed as good as any.

"Ryouga... I need to talk to someone. Sayuri knows; she was the one who suggested it to me. Beyond that, nobody has any clue on this. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need some advice."

Ryouga nodded, seeming to take it at face value. "Okay."

Akane rubbed her fingers against the formica table surface. "Ryouga, things have... not been good between myself and Ranma. She's been extremely depressed ever since she came back, and... and she's taking it out on everyone around her."

"I've noticed," Ryouga said glumly. "It's almost like her soul left along with her body."

Akane closed her eyes. "About a week ago, there was a big fight between Ranma and the rest of the family. I... I'd never seen her that far gone, Ryouga. She was yelling at everyone; it didn't matter whether they were a part of what happened or not. It frightened me... and I don't know if I can take any more."

She saw Ryouga's Adam's apple move up and down. "Akane, what are you asking me?"

She bit her lip. "Ryouga, I can't take it anymore. I've tried to stick by her, really I have... but I can't bear to watch her destroy herself like this." She picked up the coffee; its bitter taste lent her some courage. "Ryouga, Sayuri suggested that I should give up on the engagement for awhile... so that I can try to be Ranma's friend, rather than her fiancee."

The moment that Ryouga waited seemed to last an eternity for her. Emotions passed through Ryouga's face, one after the other, like looking at pictures from some trip. He coughed, and fixed a stern gaze onto her.

"And you decided to accept the idea."

Akane blinked at the comment, said with cracking emotion. She felt like crying; she'd been holding back the tears for so long, and they were begging for release. "Y... yes, I have, Ryouga. Yes, I have." She could feel the tears running down her face; she casually picked up a napkin to try to hide them, even though she knew how ridiculous it looked.

To her surprise, she found something wrapping around her - strong arms, like the ones that used to comfort her at night. She could feel his trembling; was he as scared as she was?

"Let... Let it out, Akane."

She nodded weakly. Her eyes turned to the coffee cup, as it slowly cooled in the evening air. It seemed like such a waste; then again, a lot of things seemed a waste. Sighing, she let the tears continue, sobbing without holding back, letting out months of frustration in some other man's arms.

***

Kasumi pulled out one more ball of dough, and rolled it in her hands. She gently placed the moist morsel on the cookie sheet, along with the others, and set the sheet down on the counter. Glancing at the clock, she decided to clean up her kitchen before continuing with her cooking.

Baking cookies had always been her way of dealing with stress. Ever since she had been put in charge of the house, she had found that they had a way of defusing whatever crises came up. Her sisters' problems tended to melt with the chocolate chips, and right now she knew that someone in the house would need them. Besides, with Christmas coming up, she needed to do _something_ to keep the mood festive.

She heard a shuffling behind her, and turned to the entrance. There were times when she hated being right; this was one of them. Akane walked in, and leaned against the wall.

"Um... Sis? Can we talk?"

She put on her best smile, though inside she was wary. She'd seen that look on Akane before - when she'd accidentally sent one of her would-be suitors to the hospital. "Sure, Akane." She gestured to the plate. "Would you like a cookie?"

Akane's eyes brightened at the mention of the word 'cookie' - just like she did when she was younger, Kasumi thought. "Yeah! Thanks, Sis."

Kasumi glanced at the clock, sniffed the air just to make sure, then moved to take out the most recent batch. "So. What is it that's bothering you?"

Akane looked down at her cookie. There was only one thing that would bother her that much. "Sis, I... I've decided to let go of the engagement for awhile."

The older woman looked down at her apron, and brushed some flour off of it. She would not let her sister see her disappointment - not at this time, anyway. "Are you sure, Akane?"

"No," Akane said simply. "I may want to continue it once Ranma comes to her senses - which is why I don't want anyone else to know." She bit into the cookie. "Right now, though, it hurts too much to be in this relationship. I want to get out while we're still speaking to each other."

Kasumi nodded evenly. "Have you tried talking to her?"

"Of course I have! You know what she's been like lately! Even mention the idea of her accepting the curse, and she goes bonkers!" Akane shook her head. "I can't take anymore - not unless I want to end up as bitter as her."

Kasumi turned away, and began to remove the cookies from the pan. Once she was done with the last one, she put the past pan into the oven.

"Akane... if you really want to do this, I can't stop you. I know how hard it's been on you. I... I just hope you realize what you may be giving up."

Akane closed her eyes. Kasumi could see her fighting the tears. "I... I know, Sis. Believe me, I know." She put the last of the cookie in her mouth, and hugged herself tightly. "There's just no other way anymore."

The elder sister swallowed, fighting back the tears. She knew how hard it must have been for Akane to come to that point. "As you wish, Akane. I... just hope you don't regret your wish one day." She wrapped her arms around Akane, holding her close. "But... I think you should be honest with Ranma. If... it comes to a situation where you find someone else, you're going to have to be straight with her."

Akane wasn't talking; she only nodded. Kasumi, for once, didn't know what to do. She just held on to her, and waited for her little sister to get enough strength to go on her own.

***

Christmas was a somber time at the Tendo home. Last year had held so much hope; this year, hope had decided to go somewhere else. Desperation was a regular visitor; tears came on a nightly basis.

Akane placed another ornament on the tree, and wondered why. What did she have to celebrate? Her life was too high-strung for celebrations. Exams were coming up in a month, and she still had a lot of studying left for that. Her personal life was a shambles; she took the ring off of her finger every night, and wished for the day when she could decide once and for all whether to keep it or not. She couldn't even celebrate with Ranma; her former fiance was in such a crabby mood that she doubted if Ranma would even leave her room.

"Akane? Can I help?"

She turned around, about to give a retort, when she paused. She blinked for a moment, just to make sure her eyes weren't deceiving her.

Ranma was wearing a dress. An honest-to-goodness, one-hole-at-the-bottom one-hundred-percent-female dress. It didn't look familiar; she honestly had no clue as to where it came from.

"Ranma?" She put down the ornament in her hand, and walked over to her. "You look... nice."

Ranma's face turned red; it wasn't quite a full blush, but it was close. "Thanks, Akane. I... I just thought that, since it is Christmas and all and that I'd made everyone sorta mad over the past few weeks, that..."

Akane swallowed. "It's okay, Ranma. Thanks for thinking of us." She gestured over to the ornaments. "Care to help?"

Ranma nodded. "Sure."

Akane tried to fight back the tears as Ranma helped her build the tree. Ranma was relaxed; for once, she wasn't obsessed with her manhood or moping about the twist of fates that had changed her; she was an ordinary human being. She knew it couldn't last; once the Christmas night was over, Ranma's pride would call her back to oblivion.

All too soon, the tree was finished. Ranma smiled, and plugged the lights into the socket, bathing the living room in a rainbow glow.

"Not too bad, eh, Akane?"

Akane smiled, and slipped an arm around Ranma's waist. "Not bad. Not bad at all." She grabbed the young woman by the arm. "Come on. It's time we take you into the kitchen."

"The kitchen? I dunno... I mean, I..."

Akane looked Ranma in the eye. "Ranma, your mother needs to see you like this, if only for a minute. You... you hurt her pretty badly that night. I think you need to show her, just to mend fences."

To her relief, Ranma remained silent as Akane led her to the kitchen. The sounds of domestic industry filled the room, as Kasumi and Nodoka worked away to make the Christmas at least bearable.

All noises stopped once Ranma entered the room. Kasumi sat back and smiled approvingly; she knew better than to say anything. Nodoka, on the other hand, put her dish on the back burner.

"Ranma, you... you..." She reached over and hugged her child. "Thank you, Ranma. I know how hard this was for you."

Ranma shuffled her feet. "Well..."

Nodoka grabbed Ranma's hand, and led her away. "Akane, can you take over for me? All you have to do is keep it cooking until it browns."

"Okay, Auntie." She smiled, and moved the pan back to the main burner.

"Akane?"

She looked over to Kasumi. "Yes?"

The elder sister crossed her arms. "How did you convince Ranma to wear a dress?"

Akane shrugged. "I didn't. She did it by herself. She said..."

"What did she say, Akane?"

"She said she wanted to make up for what she did."

Kasumi nodded at this, and returned to her cooking. "Does this mean that she's going to be..."

"Not likely." Akane turned off the burner, as the dish turned a faint brownish color. "She said it was only for tonight."

She started, as warm hands wrapped around her. "Do you still want to give up on the relationship?"

Akane bit her lip. She desperately wanted to go back to it; unfortunately, hurtful words still echoed in her ears. "I... I don't know, Kasumi. I don't know."

She felt Kasumi nod against her neck. "Merry Christmas, Akane."

"You too, Sis."

***

Life was much simpler when viewed like a kata, Ranma thought. Each moment brought its own changes, its own variables; the challenge of the Art was to perform the required maneuvers regardless. Due to her old man, she'd done them atop bamboo poles, underwater, and in the most horrific of weather conditions. Those times had toughened her - just as recent times had toughened her for her most recent storm.

Gritting her teeth, she looked at the next problem. If truth be known, she HATED Trigonometry; it had a set of maneuvers far removed from what she was used to. Forcing her mind on the task, she brought the mental strikes to bear, as she went through the motions of the 'kata'.

After a moment, she found her answer, and wrote it down. She hoped it was right; was it secant squared plus one is tangent squared, or vice versa? The moves were still new to her, and she didn't know if she had all of them down.

Sighing, she bore down, and focused on the next problem. She hoped that her scores in the history section would make up for any other faux pas during the test. She treated the past like some legend, as Ieyasu fought to subdue a country out-of-control, or as the Meiji Ishin struggled to turn a country from centuries of stagnation. It worked... at least, she thought it worked.

Hmmm. She smiled. Graphs she knew; the problems she faced carved the paper like wind, with each section of the problem shaping it in its own way. She looked at the problem, watched its curve shape, take form... then put it on the paper.

Now, if only she could get through the rest of them like that.

***

"Remind me why we're doing this again?" Ranma walked along the fence's edge, above the mortals once more. She fingered her back, uncomfortable at the bra she wore.

Akane smiled. "Because you need to loosen up for once. It'll just be a bunch of friends getting together to shoot the breeze after entrance exams." She looked up to the fence and, after a moment's calculation, leapt up behind the redhead. "Besides, you look like you could do with some fun."

Ranma stopped and turned around, without a moment's hesitation. "Fun I don't mind. All I need to do is kick Pop or Ryouga around for fun. Hanging out with a bunch of girls while they gossip... now that's something else entirely."

Akane tried to look at Ranma's feet as she walked backwards; unfortunately, keeping her own balance was difficult enough without figuring out how someone else did. "Well... we don't just gossip, you know. We play games, watch a movie or two... you never know, Ranma. Even Ms. Macho Jock might find it enjoyable."

The new woman cursed under her breath. "I've got some studying yet to do, Akane. After all, I still have finals to worry about."

Akane jumped off of the fence, and landed gingerly on her feet. "Come on, Ranma, and stop whining. We're here."

Ranma sighed, then followed her down. She adjusted the strap on her duffel bag, and followed Akane to the front door.

"Hey, Akane!" Akane was grateful for Sayuri's cheerfulness; hopefully, it would be infectious tonight. "Come on in, we just started the tape!"

"What're we watching?" Ranma's voice sighed from behind her.

The comment elicited a smile from the hostess. "Well... you'll just have to see it." She waved them inside, and guided them to the living area.

Akane couldn't help but smile at Sayuri's choice, as a redheaded samurai fought on the small screen. Ranma frowned at the sight.

"Hmmm. Looks interesting."

"What's this?"

Yuka looked back at them. She was already clad in her pajamas; the others around them were as well. "You mean you've never seen this?"

Ranma shook her head. "Naah. I don't watch TV all that much."

Akane smiled. "Well, this I think you'll like." The dark-haired woman grabbed Ranma by the arm, and led her onto the couch. She could see Ranma's apprehension; this was her first slumber party, after all. "Don't worry. It'll be fine."

Ranma just gave her an unreadable look, then turned to the television. Akane occasionally glanced at Ranma's face on occasion, to see how she was doing; fortunately, the pigtailed woman seemed to be getting into the story. Once in a while, she curiously glanced at her friends; they were similarly struck by the tale.

Which, of course, was precisely what Sayuri intended. Allowing herself a quiet smile, Akane moved in closer to Ranma, and started to lose herself in the story. She tried not to see herself in the heroine too much; she'd felt suffocated enough already.

The video ended all too soon for them. The heroine saved herself from the villain's death grip, allowing the hero to keep the humanity they both desired. The villain destroyed himself in the end, wasted and useless to the world around him.

Akane risked a glance at Ranma, once the tape began to rewind. Blue eyes appeared electric as the TV screen shone in them; slender hands held each other tightly, fighting some internal battle. Akane leaned closer, and whispered into her ear.

"Ranma? Are you o-"

"Wasn't that so romantic...?" Yuka squealed. "I mean, he was willing to kill Jin-e to save her, even though it would cost -"

Sayuri piped up. "But, if it came at such a cost, wouldn't Kaoru have preferred to die, rather than know that she destroyed..." Some nods of agreement came up at the words.

A surprising voice cut through the group. "Well, I... I don't think Kenshin would have been able to live with himself if he had let Kaoru die. I mean, Kaoru... even though they were just friends... if she had died, then whatever humanity was in him would have died, too. It was just a matter of choosing which one would have been better. And... and Kenshin would rather have had Kaoru alive and hating him than see her dead." Ranma gestured to the screen. "Say what you want about Kaoru but, until she was able to save herself, she had nothing to do with the decision."

The sound of rewinding tape was the only noise in the room for a moment.

"But..." Akiko, a raven-haired girl near the front, spoke up. "...what would Kenshin have done when it was over?"

Ranma swallowed. "I... I don't know. Probably run away until he could get his soul back."

Yuka rolled over onto her back, and stared at the ceiling. "Well, I think Kaoru would have taken him in regardless. I mean, she does owe him her life."

Ranma smiled. "But would Kenshin be willing to go back after what he'd done? Again, it's not Kaoru's decision."

Various grumbling occurred among the other girls at the comment. "Why can't a man stay at home where he belongs?" Megumi, a petite girl on the couch, moaned.

Akane looked over at Ranma. For the first time, she knew why Ranma was doing what she did. Also, for the first time, she knew without any shadow of a doubt that it was over - for good. She tried to find her voice; the words were said as much to herself as anyone else. "Because... sometimes, for a man to stay a man, he has to do some things he hates - like go away on some trip, or... or even leave behind the woman he loves." The tape stopped; Akane gathered her wits, and grabbed Ranma by the hand. "C'mon, Ranma. We need to get dressed."

***

Akane stared at the ceiling at Sayuri's place, her mind too occupied for sleep. She could hear the other guests around her, engaging in the activity that gave slumber parties their name. Even Ranma was conked out, joining in the chorus of snores.

She was wondering why she came to this place anymore. It was here a year ago that she first found out about Ranma's problem; it was here a month ago that she decided to give up on the engagement. Now, she understood her former fiancee, and why their relationship couldn't last.

Ranma, for all the underhandedness his father had taught him, still went by the warrior's code. The man-turned-woman had remained silent concerning Ryouga's curse, instead forcing a situation where Ryouga would be called to honor... and thereby convincing the lost boy to confront himself. She had fought for the weak so often, even gone so far as to help her enemies... one of whom had betrayed her in the end. She lived by the code; she would likely die by the code.

And that code forbade her to give up.

Her pride would not, could not allow it. She suspected that a part of Ranma wanted desperately to let go, to become a woman in name as well as in form. Unfortunately, that would mean allowing defeat, allowing herself to be subject to the will of her adversary. Ranma would die before allowing that.

That, of course, made her job all the more urgent. She _had_ to let Ranma know it was all right for her to give up, that it was fine for her to be a girl.

She tapped her fist against the floor. That wouldn't work; she'd tried for months. Moreover, Kasumi and Auntie Saotome had also tried. The only result had been alienation between Ranma and her family, as the redhead slowly walked away from them.

Her eyes drifted to the woman sleeping next to her. Part of her wanted to cry out, to bash some sense into that thick skull of hers... but she knew that it would never work. There was only one person on earth she knew who was more stubborn than Ranma - and it happened to be her mother's youngest daughter. Ranma would give up on her manhood the day she'd give up on breathing.

Sighing, she stared up at the ceiling, and started to count the raised dots in the plaster.

***

February rains were the worst, Ranma thought. The weather was still cold from the winter, causing the ground to be covered in mush, and chilled the droplets to near freezing. Wind blew hard into them, inverting umbrellas and stymieing attempts to say dry.

This was the fifth she'd been to, she thought. The college she'd wanted to go to had decided she wasn't their kind of person; her second choice had decided that Akane wasn't their kind of person. This place was in Tokyo, in the old Shinjuku district; it wasn't bad, but it was close enough that she couldn't justify living away from the dojo.

Sighing, she turned her eyes toward the campus. It really was a nice college, with that venerable feel that hinted at the timelessness of such places. The buildings were done in a Western style she wasn't familiar with; it seemed like some foreign land to her, a new place to discover.

"Ranma? Are you coming, or are you just going to gape?"

She blinked. This was Akane's first choice; she still wanted to stay close to home, and this place had a nice business program. Sure, it wasn't the University of Tokyo but, then again, nothing was. "Sure, Akane." She started to move with more determination, passing the recruitment booths of the clubs as though they weren't there.

It wasn't difficult to see where the list had been posted. The crowd had, for the most part, dispersed; some still strained to see the results, while others cried their joys or sorrows away. Ranma brought her ticket out, holding it with both hands as though presenting a business card.

"What's your number, Ranma?"

Ranma shrugged. "4975." Her eyes scanned the board; she lingered around the three thousands, not really sure if she wanted to know...

"Ranma, it would seem you now have a second choice for where to go to college." Akane smiled, sending a warm glow through her. "And... so do I."

Ranma's eyes lit up. "You mean..."

Akane pointed to the board. "Congratulations... college student."

Ranma's eyes looked at the numbers there, at the combination that, on some level that only school administrators understood, referred to the entity known as Saotome Ranma. She could feel the whoop of joy building up inside of her; it didn't take long for it to explode outward, merely the last of many cries that echoed across the campus.

***

Akane walked into the dojo slowly, her eyes drinking in every sight. The floor was sanded and polished until it shone, glowing under the glare of the new light fixtures. The walls, similarly treated, were solidly built; she'd tested them herself by putting her weight on them. The shrine and other decorations were still there, along with a few new ones to add a woman's touch to the place. On top of that, she'd put in air pump units discreetly throughout the hall, and installed insulation to keep the heat inside. It had taken nearly five months of work... but the place, her place, was done.

She looked behind her, at the faces of her family. Her father positively beamed, though he clearly made an effort not to cry in happiness. Kasumi smiled, and walked over to look at the flowers on one wall. The Saotomes were more reluctant to go in; they stood reverently at the entrance, like outsiders asking for permission to enter. She opened her arms up, and smiled.

"Welcome to the new Tendo dojo."

The group started to walk around, noting the craftsmanship that went into the renovations. She'd tried to do a good job at making the place as comfortable as possible; she knew she wasn't much of an interior decorator, but, with some advice from the others, had come up with some tasteful, warm decorations. Heirloom weapons hung next to fresh flowers, and old-style paintings breathed life into the new walls. The pumps blew in warm air to heat the dojo; snow lay outside, but nobody could tell from the inside.

Murmurs of approval carried across the hall as they browsed the room, filling her with pride. Truth to tell, at times she had thought this would have never succeeded. Ryouga and Ranma had helped out when they could, giving her advice (and, on occasion, added muscle) on completing some of the more complex parts of the renovation. As she watched their smiles and nods of her family, she knew that she had done well.

Her father approached her. He was crying by this point; there was only so much that he could hold in. "Akane, I am very proud of you. You and Ranma have exceeded my wildest expectations."

She fought back her tongue. Ranma had helped when she was available; however, with her studies, her role in the construction was a secondary one. "Thanks, Daddy."

Her father's eyes scanned expansively around him. "Yes... Now that the dojo is completed, it is time for you and Ranma to formalize your relationship... and get married right here."

Akane froze. "Daddy... I don't think -"

"No buts, Akane. You two have waited long enough."

Akane fought to bring some retort to mind... but couldn't come up with one offhand. If she mentioned what had happened to the engagement, then things would end disastrously. "Um... Daddy..."

"Ranma and Akane have a lot to work out yet. There have been a lot of changes in Ranma's life, after all." Kasumi smiled, and put her hand on Akane's shoulder. "Isn't that right, Akane?"

Akane blinked at Kasumi's save, then smiled weakly. "Um... yeah. You'd be surprised how much Ranma and I are having to go through right now."

Soun gave a stern look to them. "We can't wait around forever, Akane. Please work it out as soon as possible. We want the two of you to be married before the end of the year. All right?"

Akane swallowed. "All right, Daddy." She looked up at him.

"Um... Daddy?"

"Yes, Akane?"

Much as she enjoyed showing them the dojo, she didn't want to face the Saotomes. "Can I go up to study? I do have finals coming up in a few weeks, you know."

Soun looked at her for a moment, then nodded. "Go ahead, Akane, though I think you should wait for a moment."

She didn't want to wait. She turned around, ready to run out the door, when she ran into a large presence.

"Excellent dojo, Akane. You and Ranma should do good here, if you both built something this well." Genma smiled, beaming with something between fatherly pride and disgusting greed. "It'll be good to practice in here."

"Um... thanks," Akane whispered noncommittally. Ranma's parents simply disgusted her sometimes. "Excuse me, Mr. Saotome, I need to go study."

He shrugged. "Okay." Genma turned to Nodoka, allowing Akane a chance to escape. She walked briskly out of her dojo, and didn't stop until she was safely in her room. She took a moment to gain her bearings, then opened her English book.

After twenty minutes of staring at the same page, she stopped. She rolled over on the bed, and stared at the ceiling.

This was a lot harder than she thought. She never wanted to deceive those around her; she just wanted some space away from them. Being in a family hurt sometimes; they expected things of her that she couldn't give, no matter how desperately she wanted to give it to them.

They wanted her to stay with Ranma. Staying with Ranma hurt too much. Leaving Ranma would hurt them. If she stayed with Ranma, the relationship would swiftly disintegrate, hurting everyone. Hurting her family hurt herself.

Why did this have to hurt so much? There were times when she wished she could stop feeling, that she could cease being a Tendo and just be Akane, no name, no face. Even feeling empty there would be better than the ache she felt.

Worse, she didn't have anyone to blame for it. It might have been Happousai; after all, he had the knowledge. It also might have been Cologne; she knew the curse formula as well, had Amazon law to uphold, and those elders were awfully accepting of Ranma, even to the point of inviting her into the tribe. Hating both was impossible, as one probably tried to stop the other.

Diabolical, she thought. Absolutely diabolical. Nobody to blame meant nobody to hate, leaving too many pent-up emotions floating around inside, increasing the damage. In the end, everyone would be shook up in its wake, as the family slowly tore away at each other, burning the heart's skin away.

Sighing, she closed her book, and tried to get a nap in. At least in her dreams things were safe.

***

Ranma set down her duffel bag, and breathed a sigh of relief.

She'd done it. Somehow, some way, she'd done it. After perhaps the most unorthodox educational program ever conceived, she'd finally fought her way through school. All she had to do was go to the ceremony, and she'd be done.

Her eyes searched the spartan room around her, looking for... something. There was nothing for her to do for once, no major pressing concern to worry about. She'd been fighting for so long that she couldn't comprehend of a life without struggle. The silence after so many battles was disconcerting to her, at the very least.

She sighed, and thought about the past months. Truth to tell, she regretted a lot of what she'd said; she'd been in such a difficult situation that she had no choice but to push everyone away. For awhile, it looked like she'd have to give up on the relationship, as she fought to control a life growing steadily out of her control. Now, though, there was nothing stopping her. Her mother had stopped taking her on shopping trips after Christmas, and didn't want to force it anymore. Things between her and Akane were... well... friendly again. They were letting her live as she wanted to live now.

It was time to make amends. They'd stuck by her for so long, through some of the worst events they could ever imagine... now it was time to pay them back for that.

Nodding to herself, Ranma walked down to the kitchen, to have a talk with Kasumi. If she was going to have her way, this would be a night they'd never forget.

***

The spring wind was blowing in Akane's face, soothing her fevered brow. She'd never expected finals to be that bad; she'd spent too much time goofing off, and it nearly cost her. Still, she passed, and at that stage of the game, it was all that mattered.

Twirling in the air, she couldn't help but notice the turquoise dress around her. She'd always hated the fashion crime, preferring something more in a sailor cut; still, it would be strange to sell it to some incoming freshman. She'd worn it for so long that it seemed like a second skin to her. Pausing to feel its polyester one more time, she entered the gates to her home, her heart soaring.

She was out. Out. The word was a foreign one to her; she'd been in school ever since she could remember. No more strenuous pressure-cooker classes, no more disciplinarians, no more uniforms... no more. She walked in the door, noting the quiet the permeated the place.

"Um... Akane?"

She turned around. Ryouga waited next to the phone, assurance, she presumed, that he would stay indoors. She studied his face for a moment; it reminded her of the sheepish look he had when she had taken him out for coffee. "Yes, Ryouga?"

The lost boy pressed his fingers together, and followed her into the living room. "Um... I was wondering."

Akane put her hands on her hips. "Is something wrong, Ryouga?"

He bit his lip. "Well, considering that you're finally done with finals, would you like to go out with me tonight?"

Akane paused at the question. "Go out? As on a date?"

Ryouga fidgeted nervously. "Um... yes."

Akane stared at him for a moment. Sure, he was a friend, but... "Um... Ryouga, I dunno. I mean, Ranma..."

He sighed. "Akane, if you decide that you want to get back with Ranma, I won't stand in your way. Unfortunately..." He left the truth hanging unspoken, then smiled grimly. "Besides, it's not like we haven't done this before, ne?"

Memories of their first 'date' filled Akane's mind - and the petty jealousy Ranma showed all throughout that day. She closed her eyes; at least Ranma was feeling *something* then. "Okay, Ryouga. But, considering everything... I think we should leave now, before Ranma makes it home."

Ryouga looked around for a moment, then nodded. He held his hand out to her, as any gentleman would. "Shall we go, then?"

Akane looked down at the hand, and frowned. "Tell you what. You tell me where to go, and I'll lead you there. Okay?"

He smiled. "As you wish." Akane paused at some racket from the kitchen; Kasumi probably just dropped something. Shrugging, she turned to the doorway, leading Ryouga by the hand until they were safely away from the house.

***

Kasumi blinked at the words that came from the dining area; she wasn't sure what she was supposed to feel about what happened. Guilt was first; after all, she'd known all along how Akane felt, and still allowed it to happen. Anger came a close second, as she realized that Akane had abused a trust between them.

As she saw the pan begin to slip from Ranma's fingers, a third emotion took its place: concern. Kasumi quickly grabbed an oven mitt and took the pan from her before it fell.

"Ranma?"

The redhead said nothing. Her head quivered; occasionally, she blinked. A shimmer of threatening tears formed in her eyes. Kasumi sat the woman down, and began to speak quietly.

"Ranma, I... I'm sorry. I..."

Ranma's head swung around slowly to face hers. "She... she left me. After..."

Kasumi nodded, swallowing her own emotions. This was no time for a gentle smile; she just put her arms around the girl, holding her close. "Akane couldn't take it anymore. She tried... but, after one blowup too many, she decided to give up on the relationship for awhile... so that the two of you could remain friends. She told me... that if she didn't, that the two of you would probably part on unpleasant terms."

"And... she's with Ryouga... has been the whole time... all the planning... everything..."

"Ranma, I know how hard this may seem to be for you. Heaven knows you've been through enough already. But... you've got to learn to let her go."

Ranma just _looked_ back at her; it was an empty gaze, without anything of the energetic child she once admired. "She left me... and she didn't bother to tell me. _You_ didn't bother to tell me."

Kasumi felt the accusation in the words; it hurt, but it was a hurt she felt she deserved. "No, Ranma... I didn't bother to tell you. Akane said it to me like it was her only hope at making the relationship work. So... I went along with it." She bowed deeply to the young woman. "I didn't know about Ryouga. I'm sorry."

Ranma seemed to stand like a statue, as she clearly pondered Kasumi's words. After a moment, she nodded, then mechanically took off her apron.

"Ranma, where are you going?"

The redhead muttered some unintelligible reply, then headed out the door. Kasumi watched her leave, then turned back to the vegetables. Someone had to finish the meal, after all - and sometimes a good home-cooked meal was just what was needed to cheer a person up.

***

Akane carefully slid the entryway door open, as though she were expecting some sort of ambush. Seeing that nobody waiting for her at the entrance, she muttered a quiet "Tadaima" to the house, and slipped off her shoes.

Truth be told, she had an enjoyable time. It felt good to be normal again, to go out on a date or to hang out someplace without the feeling of responsibility that usually bore down on her. Also, Ryouga was a good companion; he understood the scars on her heart all too well, as he held similar ones. She found succor in his presence, as though his time as 'P-chan' had helped his empathic skills.

"Akane? Would you come in here for a moment?"

She blinked. Kasumi had heard her, and called from the living area. "Sure, Sis. I'll be there in a sec."

Kasumi knelt in front of the table. A pot of tea was steaming in front of her. "Would you like some?"

Akane blinked. There was something not quite right with Kasumi's voice. It was almost as though she was under some sort of strain. "Sure, Sis." She sat down diagonal to her, and accepted the steaming mug.

"So... where did you go tonight?"

Akane coughed nervously. "Oh... out. Once finals were done, I decided to go and blow off some steam."

Kasumi shut her eyes once, and sighed. Akane gulped; she knew her sister, and she knew she was in big trouble.

"Akane, is there anything else you'd like to tell me?"

Akane looked downward. "You know it was a date, don't you?"

Kasumi looked forward, away from Akane's presence, and sipped her tea. "Akane, Ranma was helping me in the kitchen when Ryouga asked you out. She had come to me asking if she could prepare a celebration dinner for the two of you."

Akane's face turned ashen. "You mean... Ranma..."

"Knows, yes."

Akane put her face in her hands. "Oh, God... I never meant to..."

"Nevertheless, you have." Kasumi sipped her tea thoughtfully. "So. What are you going to do about it?"

Akane sighed. "Apologize, I guess. I didn't know..."

Kasumi sighed. "Akane, Ranma hasn't come back home yet - at least, not as far as I know. I suggest you take your bath and think about what you are going to say to her. After all, the future of the dojo rides on what you say to her tonight."

Akane's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, Kasumi?"

The elder sister took a sip of her tea. "The Musabetsu Kaketou has been depending on the fact that its two heirs work together to train others in the Art. If that falls to pieces... so does our school."

Akane gulped. "I guess it's time I had a talk with Ranma, huh?"

Kasumi nodded. "Don't worry, Akane. I have faith in you." Kasumi kissed her younger sister on the forehead, sending her off. Akane walked as though in a daze, not sure of what to do.

Ranma... loving her was like hugging a porcupine. The closer she got, the more she hurt. Yet... the girl she'd once been engaged to had anguishes of her own - anguishes nobody had attended to.

Perhaps it was time someone did.

She entered the bath area, and paused on looking in the clothes hamper. Ranma's clothes were in there; presumably, she was taking a bath as well. Steeling herself for the confrontation, she finished undressing, and knocked on the door.

"Ranma?"

She heard something in reply; a small splashing, along with a weak groan.

"Ranma, do you mind if I come in? I just want to talk."

Silence. She wrung her hands together, and readied to open the door.

"Ranma, I'm coming in!" She forced the door open.

It took a second for the sight to sink into her. Ranma lay unconscious in the furo, her head the only part of her above water. Blood - too much blood, Akane thought - mixed with the bath water, staining the sides of the bathtub red. She could see a stream trailing from Ranma's arm into the water, like red smoke. Akane looked down, saw the pile of blood at her feet next to the razor... and screamed.

Her head slammed into the back of the wall; she barely felt it. She'd done this; she'd... she'd...

"Akane, what's wrong? Are you o- OH, MY GOD! Ranma!" Kasumi ran past her, and dragged Ranma from the pool. She took a moment to check for vitals, then looked around. "Akane, get those towels over there!"

Akane blinked for a moment, still stunned. "Huh?"

Kasumi pointed. "The towels! Hurry!"

Akane ran over, and gave her the towels. Kasumi wrapped them around Ranma's wrists; they were already staining red...

"Akane, call 119!"

Akane nodded hastily and ran down to the phone. She worried if she was dialing the right number, her hands were shaking so bad.

"Hello, emergency hotline..."

"Help, we've got an emergency! My... she tried to commit suicide!"

To Akane's surprise, the voice remained calm. "What method did she use?"

Akane shook her head for a moment, to clear it. "Um... s-she slit h-her wrists."

The line was silent for what seemed an eternity. "Okay. The paramedics are on their way. Are you alone in the house?"

"Um... no. Besides Ranma, my sister's also in the house. She's a doctor's assistant, so she knows a bit..."

"Is Ranma the victim?"

A low feeling settled in Akane's stomach. "Yeah. Yeah, she is."

The questions droned on, about how Kasumi was handling Ranma, if there was any sign of alcohol or drugs, if she'd been moody lately, if she had had a history of problems... Akane just wanted the questions to stop. Having caused this was bad enough; being judged by some telephone deity was worse.

She just wanted everything to stop.

Akane saw the door slide open, and the paramedics come in. She motioned over to the bath; she wasn't capable of speech anymore. She just leaned by the wall next to the phone, shaking uncontrollably.

She'd... she'd killed her. She didn't stop to think about what she'd done, and she killed her.

At that moment, she felt like joining Ranma. The paramedics whizzed in and out past her; it was all a blur to her. She barely noticed when someone came up behind her, and wrapped a blanket around her.

"Akane?"

She blinked; she'd never heard Kasumi speak so quietly before. "Is she okay, Sis? Is she..."

Kasumi bit her lip. "I don't know, Akane. Her heart stopped while you were on the phone; I managed to get it pumping again, but..." She looked Akane up and down. "Come on. We've got to get ready to go."

Akane nodded mutely. She watched as Ranma was wheeled out on a stretcher; she gasped at how pale the girl looked. It took a full minute of prodding for Kasumi to move her upstairs; she didn't complain while Kasumi helped her dress.

***

Being torn was a feeling Kasumi was used to. She had grown up as both parent and child, acting to keep her sisters in line even as she yearned to join them in play. Tempers flared easily, then: Akane reacted to Mother's death with fists, while Nabiki resorted to more covert methods of rebellion. She'd oftentimes been forced to act as mediator between the sometimes-warring factions known collectively as a family, never taking sides, but trying to act as peacemaker to all.

She'd tried to keep the peace. She'd sought to help Ranma learn about her new life so that her family's honor would remain intact, tried to help Akane to accept Ranma's new body, and sought to comfort the man-turned-woman whenever she needed help.

Gods, she was a fool.

Gentle sobs echoed in her ears, like they had too many times since Mother's death. Akane was beyond comfort, beyond speech, beyond her own forgiveness. Through the window she could see Ranma, her arms bandaged, the steady droning of a heart monitor letting all know how her battle went. The dreams of two families, as well as the shining stars of those families, were in ruins. Whoever had inflicted their vengeance on Ranma had truly won. Kasumi tried to murmur what encouragement she could into Akane's hair, letting her know that, no matter what had happened, it would be all right in the end, but feeling inside that nothing would be right ever again.

"What happened?"

Kasumi closed her eyes and counted to ten before responding. "Ranma tried to commit suicide tonight, Auntie." Her even words faded back to murmurs, as Akane's sobs turned to howls. She didn't move toward Nodoka; she had more important things to do.

"Why? What would cause my child to want to kill herself?"

Kasumi bit her lip. "Now is not the time to discuss this, Auntie. If you wish to know why, I will be able to tell you once I am unoccupied."

"Kasumi, my child is in the hospital, fighting for her life. You will tell me why, and you will tell me now." Nodoka's tone was ice-cold. Kasumi fought back more choice words before responding.

"The engagement between our families was formally ended today, Auntie Saotome. Ranma did not take the news well."

"Excuse me?" Nodoka's gaze nearly caused Kasumi to falter.

"Akane decided that it was best if the engagement ended, due to various circumstances." Akane wailed for a moment, a move which Nodoka saw as confirmation.

"You mean... the engagement... was called off... WITHOUT CONSULTING ME?" Nurses began to move, to quiet the group. Nodoka noticed, waved her hand to them, then whispered harshly, "What were you thinking allowing this to happen, Kasumi?"

Kasumi closed her eyes. Every moment where things could have been different replayed itself for her. "I was wrong in allowing this to happen in the first place, Auntie Saotome. I was wrong in forcing Ranma to be something she wasn't, and for pressing things too much on Akane from my end." She looked downward for a moment. "You may think Tendo family honor cheap right now, Auntie, and for that I don't blame you. However, for what we did to Ranma and Akane, for the... for the hell we put them through, we are both to blame."

Nodoka's dark eyes blazed. "I did what I thought was best for my child and my family."

Kasumi glanced into the hospital room. She was too tired to fight, too tired to stop fighting. "I know. We both did. And we were wrong."

White knuckles gripped the bundle in Nodoka's hands. She could see the wavering of control, the avalanche of anger and helplessness coming over the middle-aged woman, until finally settling into a shaky equilibrium.

"I... It would seem... that I have a lot to think about. I... tried to... help Ranma... and Akane... but apparently my help was not appreciated." She moved backwards, and bowed deeply. "I hold no grudge against the clan Tendo for what happened. However, should my daughter die because of what happened, I will expect individual honor to be upheld." She pulled a wrapped tanto from her sleeve, and handed it to Akane. "I will be back later, to check on Ranma's condition."

Kasumi's eyes darted from Nodoka's retreating form to Akane, to where she held the tanto in her hands. She could see the uncontrollable rage, the fury Kasumi recognized from so long ago, building up inside Akane's dark eyes. Acting quickly, Kasumi held on tightly to her younger sister, embracing her with a ferocious love. Whispered peace came urgently to her lips, to try to calm the firestorm before it went too far. She waited until Nodoka was out of sight and Akane no longer struggling before relaxing her grip.

She looked downward past Akane's shoulder, at the tanto now lying on the ground. She stared at the blade for a long moment, then moved Akane in the opposite direction, away from places where honor would distract them.

***

She was dead.

Funny how long it took her to realize that.

She shuffled along the corridors of the hospital, with no real life to her movements. She'd had her fun already today; the guard's shoulder was still stiff from the throw she'd given him this morning, if his movements were any indication. A quiet, malicious part of her dearly hoped it still hurt.

Her mind, though, was primarily on other things. It was amazing how easy it was to commit suicide, once she actually considered it. The needles the physicians used to tranquilize could also be used to cut; the sheets by which she kept warm at night made for an excellent noose. Heck, if she was truly desperate, a massive ki maneuver, done right, could end her life quickly; that, however, would be... messy. She had other plans, though. Once she was out, her life (and death) was her own. She would disappear into the wilderness, and join the elusive ghosts in the tree line. No one would ever find the body. Her family would mourn her, of course, even though the death had occurred long before the final rest. Unconsciously, she rubbed the bandages around her wrists, longing for the day when there would be no more itching.

As she moved through the residences, she tried not to look to her sides. She was probably the only completely lucid one in the whole place. The patients frightened her; some had been locked up too long, and looked more animal than human. The doctors and orderlies weren't much better than their charges.

She heard a shuffling behind her; she ignored it. Another patient decided to rebel again, most likely. It wasn't her concern anymore, anyhow.

"Pigtailed girl! Wait!"

She froze. She shouldn't have been surprised to find _him_ here; nevertheless, she was. At the moment, he represented everything she hated about herself - and everything she wanted to avoid. "Kunou, let me be," she scratched out. "Let me die." She began to regret the words as soon as she said them; after all, Kunou had a love for the pigtailed goddess that knew no bounds.

The disbelief in his voice was obvious. "What? Why?"

Lying, though, never occurred to her. Truth hurt; she wanted to hurt others, so that they could share her pain. "Because... my life is already over. Goodbye, Kunou."

"Wait! Please... at least tell me your name."

Something in the request touched a nerve in her. Her body may be gone, but she would NOT die anonymously. "It's Ranma. Saotome Ranma. And don't you _ever_ forget it." She started the road back to her cell, anxious to get away from him as fast as possible. Of all the people she HAD to run into in here, it would be him. She quickly amended her thoughts from before as she made her way to her room.

She wasn't just dead.

She had died, and she had gone to Hell.

*****

FIN

*****

2009 notes:

I often debate how I should feel about some of the less-than-useful critiques in regards to the Iris Tales.

For those unfamiliar, let me set the scene.

I released "Iris" (the second story in this series) in July 1998. Now, up to that point, I'd been fairly non-controversial as a fanfic writer. For the most part, I advocated a "Possibilities" view. In other words, events change people; the more traumatic the event, the more radical the change, especially in the short-term. I've seen (in real life) relationships that I thought were sure things blow up nastily in fairly short order, so I know how fast things can go south. No relationship is guaranteed in the long run, no future absolutely certain.

Needless to say, Akane shippers didn't like me much. After releasing "Iris", I found out just how much. I got a whole bunch of "critiques" from Akane shippers saying how "Akane would NEVER dump Ranma and start dating Ryoga in the time stated." So... I wrote "Angel", partly to prove these people wrong, and partly to work my way through a bout of depression I'd fallen into around this time.

Unfortunately, such an argument is like making an abortion argument. Those who were convinced before will still be convinced, and those who weren't convinced still won't be convinced.

Still, it's a good work - one of my favorites. Probably no work left more of me bleeding on the keyboard than "Angel", and I am glad to have written it. I guess I should give thanks for that.

Despite that, I've erased most of the thanks I had written for this one. Frankly, I give thanks that are as genuine as the critiques themselves.

I genuinely thank those who appreciated the work and let me know; also, I thank those who pointed out issues of grammar and spelling (esp. Jeff Hosmer), and went out of their way to try to improve the work without destroying the premise of the work.

To "Da Guyz": Thanks for being there, while we were there.

Finally, as for the leadership of the FFML at the time (and you know who specifically I'm talking about, if you were there then): If you're charged with keeping the peace, you don't start and continue a flamewar just to push your own views. It's called "conflict of interest". You took a place that was good for getting useful criticism for works, and turned it into a mouthpiece for your views. And something like that... I don't think it can be condemned strongly enough.

Original version: September 29, 1998

Released to fanfiction dot net: March 24, 2009


	2. Iris

Kunou Tatewaki had failed. Utterly failed.

The young man sat on the hospital bed, his mind lost... and found. He didn't have the security of his kendo skills to comfort him, nor the proud tradition of samurai blood; here he was just another patient, another nutcase. Revulsion filled him at some of the people around him; some had lost touch with reality long ago, and the rest... well, they had their own problems. He had been cast with the outcasts, to wallow until he had purged himself of his demons.

Still, he thought to himself, this had been inevitable. How long had he hidden behind warrior's dreams and vanished lives? How long could he hold back the pain, hold back the tears... hold back himself? He'd fought the good fight, but it was a fight he could not win. Perhaps here, on a different battlefield, he could find his peace. He had done well so far; two months ago, he couldn't even mention his mother's past existence without crying. Now he was almost normal - almost.

A flash of red caught his eye, and he turned to the open door. A woman of rare beauty walked past, her scarlet hair unbound, her eyes cast to the floor like a newly-taken bride. Bandages covered her supple wrists, and two burly guards kept a 'don't try anything' look over her.

He rose up from the bed, passion overwhelming him. Somehow, his angel had come to him in his hour of need, to comfort him in his infirmity! He walked out the door, calling for her with the only name he knew.

"Pigtailed girl! Wait!"

The woman stopped, though did not turn around. "Kunou, let me be." In a softer voice, she added, "Let me die."

For once, Kunou was struck speechless. The pigtailed goddess... wished to die? That would explain the bandages on her arms... but why? His oration could find no witty riposte to her simple words.

"What... why?"

"Because... my life is already over. Good bye, Kunou." She continued walking down the hall, her steps slow and lethargic. He moved to follow, but found a glare from an orderly holding him at bay.

"Wait! Please... at least tell me your name."

Of her own accord, the woman turned around. The fiery glare to her blue eyes was back, at least for a moment. "It's Ranma. Saotome Ranma. And don't you _ever_ forget it." She continued her trek down the hall, her steps with more purpose.

Kunou moved back into his cell, his mind spinning. Something was definitely wrong with the world, and it was up to him to make it right. Somehow, the mighty had been brought low, with disastrous results. He didn't know how (not yet, anyway), but he resolved with what life remained in him to find out.

*********************************************************************

Iris

A work of Ranma 1/2 fanfiction; the second work in the Iris Tales.

All Ranma 1/2 characters created by Rumiko Takahashi. All rights reserved. I ask that you not do anything with any part of this work without the author's permission.

*********************************************************************

"I understand that one of the other guests... disturbed you, Ranma."

Ranma scraped a fingernail along the leather couch. "Yeah... I guess you could say that, Doc."

The doctor's voice remained impassive. "Why did this young man disturb you? Was it because he had something you didn't?"

Ranma growled for a moment, but kept her cool. If she lost her temper here, in front of him, then she lost. "No, Doc. He... was a sempai at my old school."

The doctor's voice purred softly. "How would you describe your relationship with him?"

Ranma sighed. "Out of everyone at the entire school, he's the only one who never figured out about my curse. He... was attracted to my girl-side."

"And what sort of advances did he make toward you?"

Bile rose in Ranma's throat. "He... he sent me roses, hugged me, occasionally felt me up..."

"And this made you feel uncomfortable."

"Whaddaya think? Have someone fondle _your_ breasts, and see how you feel!"

The doctor chuckled. "As much as I would find it a learning experience, no, thank you." He shifted positions in his chair. "And now? How do you feel about the young man?"

"I hate him."

"Why?"

Ranma closed her eyes, trying to grab something beyond her reach. "He... he helped take my manhood away. Every touch, every advance... that was one less moment that I had to feel like a man."

"And now you have none."

"And now I have none," Ranma repeated.

The psychiatrist looked downward at his notes, then at his watch. "Ranma, I... I think that at some point you should talk to this sempai of yours."

"Talk to him? Why should I?"

"Because you have a lot of ghosts that need to be put to rest."

"Like my manhood?" Ranma spat.

"Nothing so drastic, Ranma." The psychiatrist put down his notes. "You will always be a man inside, at least partially. However, this man apparently violated that part of you without realizing. I think it would be best if you talked to him, and told him - CALMLY - how it made you feel."

Ranma snorted. "Kunou'll never listen. I changed once while being glomped by him, and he still didn't figure it out."

"Don't hold that against him. No offense, Ranma, but your... curse... is somewhat difficult to believe. I wouldn't have believed it myself if your friend Mr. Hibiki hadn't demonstrated."

A bitter chuckle came from Ranma's throat. "Ryouga... bastard..."

The doctor closed his eyes. "I... I'm sorry, Ranma."

In response, Ranma took a deep breath, seeming to swallow her emotions in the process. "It's all right, Doc. I'm... I'm okay. It was bound to happen, I guess." She sprang up, and walked to the door. "Okay, Doc. I'll talk to him - when I'm ready."

The doctor smiled. "I wouldn't want it any sooner, Ranma."

*********************************************************************

Kunou lay in his bed, his eyes cast to the darkened ceiling. The blank slate was his artist's canvas now; left to hermit, thoughts on his past came to visit him in the night. Each night, his mind treated him to something he'd forgotten... or would rather forget.

Tonight, though, the memories were relatively pleasant ones. The water came down to rush to him, sending his body twisting in the cold. Undaunted, he chased his prey, the cur who would _dare_ take his Akane away from him. Seeking to keep the coward from escaping, he grabbed at his shirt, making sure to keep him at arm's reach. He certainly never expected to grab a handful of breast, nor did he ever imagine the visage of scarlet that would haunt his dreams for years to come. More pictures came... a moment in the soccer fields... the moment where he embraced her, told her of his affections, only to have... to have what?

One of the advantages of his time here was that he was seeing the world through eyes that, if not clear, were at least less clouded. Saotome Ranma had always had an aura of magic around him; luck seemed to follow him, sticking to him like a cancer. For the first time, though, things were there, begging to be connected... connected... Of particular interest was the moment where his love disappeared, just before Saotome... bested him. She had been in his arms, he could feel every curve of her body... then...

Kunou sat bolt upright in bed. Something was very wrong with the pigtailed woman he'd fallen in love with. He stared at his arms, his body remembering the shifting, the _molding_ of flesh... the change from the pigtailed girl to Ranma?

He shook his head. Something impossible was happening with this, something he could not explain. However, there was one person who knew how to fix the dilemma. Indeed, the doctor had said as much in his cryptic words.

Relaxing somewhat to gather his strength, Kunou moved back to bed, his eyes painting glorious pictures on the walls.

*********************************************************************

Ranma flexed the muscles in her hand, staring at them with a bored frustration.

Truth to tell, of all of the changes she'd gone through, she despised her hands the most. To put it simply, they _felt_ changed, more so than any other part of herself. They were slim, elegant, refined, a paragon of feminine beauty - an ideal which she despised. These hands were not meant for hard, strong work; they were made for more delicate tasks, such as cooking and sewing. The things attached to her were some other person's hands, weak, frail things... not the hardened, calloused workhorses she preferred. And, more than any other part of her change, they locked her in her present life.

Sighing, she closed her eyes, turning her sight away from her hands, choosing to feel them move rather than see. She moved into position to begin the kata; her breathing evened out as she settled in. Purposely ignoring some of the more alien sensations through her body, she began to move, her body weaving through the fighting dance with a skill well beyond her years. In moments, she was gone, lost in the only haven she had left - her art.

As her body danced, she dreamed of better times, days when she had what could be called 'friends'. True, many of them just wanted her for one thing or another... but they still treated her well all the same. Ucchan was good to talk to; Ryouga, if angry, was still a good sparring partner; even Kodachi provided her with some entertainment back then.

Until the bachelor party.

Until the pain, worse than anything he'd ever heard about from a hangover.

Until... until the last moment, two weeks later, after he'd shared an intimate moment with Akane... and...

Screwing her eyes shut, she tried to force herself back to the exercise. Artist's precision gave way, though, as anger filled the clear heart she'd tried to build for her exercises. Grace disappeared from her movements; power, raw power, enough power to shatter stars, pleaded for release, begging for her to right the wrongs done to her... to wipe all clean.

She finished the exercise, and stopped at the applause around her. The other inmates stood a safe distance away, ringing around her performance. Most were clapping; some let out amazed breaths.

Fools. They didn't know a poorly-executed kata when they saw one. She opened her eyes, and turned to face the crowd.

Comments came, questions as to how she performed that, requests to teach them... she didn't want to hear any of it. She tried to wave them off with a gentle hand; when that didn't work, she leapt over them. She ran into the hospital as fast as she could, and sprinted down the hall and to her door. She waited for her heart to calm down, then relaxed on the bed.

The knock came to her door a minute later.

"Ranma? may I come in?"

She groaned. Of all the people who noticed her actions, it had to be him.

"Sure. Come on in, Doc."

The doctor, truth to tell, was everything she wasn't, and never wanted to be. He was like Gosunkugi, only older, fatter, and with less hair. She looked at his hands, and sighed.

"Ranma... why did you run away?"

Ranma swallowed, tasting the dust in the air. "Because... there were too many to deal with at the time."

The doctor raised an eyebrow - another thing she hated about him. "Is that all?"

She fought hard; she was sorely tempted to break the first rule with him - lying. "No, it's not. My art... it's a private affair now."

"Really? Why?"

She shook her head. "Because right now I can't perform it. I... what you saw was good, but it wasn't martial arts."

"It certainly looked like it to me," the doctor quipped.

"That's because you weren't looking closely," Ranma replied, a touch of venom in her voice. "The Art comes when I am calm, at peace - and I haven't been that in a long time. When I can perform the kata without losing my cool, then I will be ready to leave here."

The doctor smiled, and wrote some words in his notebook. "So it's a form of meditation for you."

She smiled. For the first time since she'd arrived, one of the psychiatrists actually said something right. "Exactly. It's a... communion, with body, mind, and soul moving together in harmony. Problem is, ever since my body moved out..."

To his credit, the doctor nodded without speaking. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Ranma - about this as well as other things. Thank you for your time."

"Thank you," Ranma whispered, then relaxed. Her nerves were shot; it was time for a nap.

*********************************************************************

He saw her again a few days later, in the courtyard of the hospital.

This time, she looked a little more confident, if still depressed. Then again, if what his suspicions were telling him were true, she had good reason to be down. Ghostlike were her steps through the blades of grass, and funereal was her mood among the other ghosts of the hospital. She walked over to the flowers, feeling each bloom in her dainty fingertips, her eyes never going beyond the colorful bed.

"Will you tell me your tale, Saotome Ranma?"

The woman looked back at him, her hands stilled around a daisy. He could see the flicker of emotions pass in her eyes - revulsion, anger, sadness... despair. "Why do you want to know, Kunou?"

For once, the young man floundered for words. "Um... well... the doctors said that I... might be able to get past some of my problems if I did." His eyes never left her form. "Also... I have questions that I must have answers to - if I am to leave this place, that is."

Ranma snorted - almost like a chuckle, but not quite. "They... told me similar things. That I should talk to you about some of the things that happened." She played with the petals in her hands. "What do you want to know?"

Kunou nodded evenly. "Who are you? Are you Ranma... or someone who has taken his name?"

Ranma winced. "I... I was Saotome Ranma."

Kunou blinked, his eyes analyzing every inch of her frame. "Pardon me if I intrude, but... how?"

He could see the frustration in her eyes. The hands clenched around the flower. "You always called me a 'vile sorcerer', correct?"

Kunou hedged for a moment. "Well... your male form, anyway."

"I am no sorcerer, Kunou, nor was I ever a sorcerer. I am a victim of magic, not a master of it." Ranma crushed the flower in her hands. "During my travels, my father and I traveled to a magical place known as Jusenkyo. There, I was cursed to take this form whenever cold water splashed me."

Her grip tightened around the flower's remains, grinding it into a pulp. "I was so close, Kunou... I thought I had everything. The wedding was in two days... someone poisoned me. Dunno who; we think either Cologne or Happousai, since neither one has been seen since then. It... caused my curse to go haywire."

Kunou nodded sagely. "So... your curse is now a permanent affliction."

"Yeah," Ranma whispered. She let the petals fall to the ground, then turned back to him. "So why are you here?"

Kunou winced. He didn't want to explain why. "Well... I had a nervous breakdown, along with... some other problems."

Ranma smiled weakly. "Fair enough; nobody wants to talk about their problems here." She looked around at the other residents. "You'd think that, considering we all have problems, that we'd at least talk about it with each other."

"Well, would you want the other inmates to know about your past?" Kunou tried to smile for her. After all, she needed as much cheering up as possible.

To his credit, it worked. She seemed to chuckle at the idea. "No. I don't want to make them any worse than they already are." She looked over to the entrance. "It looks like they're 'inviting' us in, Kunou."

The young man looked back at the entrance, and the orderlies herding the others in like cattle. He needed to act - and quickly. "Ranma, do you mind if we talk here tomorrow? It is frighteningly lonely in this place, and a friendly face is something beyond value here."

Ranma smiled as the orderlies came up to her. She waited for a long second, her eyes seeming to gaze into every fiber of his being, then nodded. "Okay, Kunou. Besides, there's a few things that I need to talk to you about."

Kunou tried to get a reply out, but found guards in his way. Sighing, he turned away and to the exit, his eyes on the redheaded girl as much as possible.

*********************************************************************

Ranma hated cafeteria food.

Truth to tell, there were a lot of things she hated about the funny farm - or, as the doctors liked to call it, 'behavioral hospital'. She didn't like the way the orderlies watched her like a babysitter, and their nervous looks when she started a kata in the courtyard. She didn't like the doctors with their smarmy looks and condescending tones and nosy questions that she had to answer. She didn't like the other patients; most of them were downright *crazy*, and it scared her. She didn't like the hospital rooms, the lack of freedom, the medications, the loneliness... but, at the moment, she hated the food the most.

She... she wasn't sure if she wanted to end her life anymore. When she... when she had tried to kill herself, she'd been in a very bad way. She'd just seen all of her dreams shatter like glass for all time, and she acted in the only way she knew. She was starting to come down from the cold euphoria of blood loss; the pleasant, scary feeling of letting go had faded into deep memory.

Unfortunately, the food they gave her looked like they weren't giving her a choice. The gruel they served for rice made Akane's old cooking look good. And she didn't want to know what the mystery meat given to her was. If it weren't for the insistent growling coming from her stomach, she'd have starved by now.

"Good morning, Ranma. Do you mind if I join you?"

She sighed. Perhaps misery did love company. "Sure, Kunou. Take a load off."

She picked at the food with her chopsticks. At least it wasn't still alive... she hoped. "Kunou... there's some things that I need to talk to you about."

Kunou nodded. "Go on."

"Did you honestly not know that Saotome Ranma and your 'pigtailed girl' were the same person?"

Kunou frowned. "At... at some deep level, I might have. I lived in my fantasies then; I didn't want to know the truth." He shrugged. "I'm sorry I can't answer more precisely."

She tried to take a bite of the meat; it slid down her throat too easily, and left a bitter aftertaste in her mouth. "Okay. There's some things that I have to tell you. Please don't take this the wrong way; I'm sure you're okay now, but then..."

Kunou nodded, ever the gracious guest. "Go on, Ranma."

Ranma put her chopsticks down, and took a deep breath. "When you... made advances at me, I... god, how do I put this... it made me feel uncomfortable. I... do you know what it's like to have another guy make passes at you?"

"I have not had that... experience." Kunou picked up his food and began eating, oblivious to its noxious taste.

"Anyway, please, now that you know..." Ranma's attention slid away from her speech as Kunou continued eating. He was shoveling the gruel down as though nothing was wrong... as though it was actually edible. "... How are you eating that stuff, anyway?"

Kunou snorted. "I ate my sister's cooking for nearly a decade. I have developed an immunity to most poisons as a result."

Ranma couldn't help but giggle. "I dunno, Kunou... I had to put up with Akane's cooking creations for awhile, and I'm _still_ not used to this stuff." The two laughed for a moment, a laughter that descended onto tense silence.

Kunou finished his meal, then stared out at the other patients.

"You still love her, don't you?" It wasn't stated as a question.

Ranma closed her eyes. "For all time, Kunou - for all time."

She opened her eyes... to find Kunou's eyes filled with tears. "I sympathize with you, Ranma. I... I dreamed of a woman who would be my equal, a warrior maid with beauty and fire all in one package. I lived lifetimes in my dreams, years with you or Akane at my side, my partner in war, in peace... in love. I... I still love your fantasy, and it is... painful to let go of that fantasy."

Ranma shuddered at the frank comments, but kept her cool. "It always hurts to let go of your dreams," she blurted. She desperately thought of a way to change the topic.

"So... how are your sessions going?"

Kunou shook his head - a frustration she shared with him. "Slowly. I fear I may be in here a long time." He took a long sip of his water. "They are going to experiment with certain drugs to help with... some problems; however, I have the feeling that it will not help." He put down his glass. "And you?"

She shrugged. "Good question. I... I'm better than I used to be - unfortunately, I don't know if I'll ever be where I was again." Her fists clenched; she could _feel_ the frustration building in her fingers. "I... I had everything, Kunou. I had Akane, I had a good future... and someone took it all away. They don't even have the decency to face me about it." She shook her head. "I _know_ it wasn't a dream, but everyone keeps asking me to act as though it never happened, and I... I just can't do that." Her fist hit the table softly, as hard as she dared with orderlies nearby.

"Then don't. Remember it, cherish it... but go on." Kunou ate the last of his food, then grimaced. "We... can't change the past, Ranma. We can only change the future."

Ranma swallowed another bite of her food. She didn't even taste the morsel; it hurt too much just to swallow. "I know, Kunou. I know." She knew she wasn't going to eat any more, so she picked up her tray. "See you later, Kunou."

He nodded. "Same time and place?"

She tried to smile for him - a pathetic effort, to tell the truth. "Yeah. Same time and place."

*********************************************************************

Ranma slowly wiped the sweat off of her brow, enjoying the ache in her muscles. Her workout had been intense; she didn't care about style for once, and went all-out to test herself. She'd annoyed the orderlies on at least one occasion, as she moved into the intense section of her workout; fortunately, they'd given her some leeway on her workouts, and allowed her to continue.

It had been too long, she thought. A martial artist's path meant stretching the body's limitations to its extreme, letting no force outside of nature's hand impede that progress. She'd lived by that ideal ever since she was little; she'd forgotten it in the past year, though, due to real-life intrusions.

Of course, she'd forgotten a lot in the past year.

Not allowing herself to get mixed up in that train of thought, she rose to a sitting position. They were starting to urge everyone in for supper; not urgently, but enough to let her know she didn't have much time left. She was about to get to her feet, when she felt a hand brush against her shoulder.

"Very impressive, Ranma. I can see why you beat me so handily in our early matches."

Ranma accepted the hand, and eased up to her feet. "Well... kendo techniques have some advantages, but also some serious disadvantages as well. The key is to exploit those disadvantages."

Kunou raised an eyebrow. "What disadvantages?"

Ranma smiled. "For one, your number of methods of attack is seriously reduced. You can slash, bash, or stab; there isn't much alternative to that. Also, the use of two hands for one weapon, while giving you added control and reach, is seriously inefficient. Overall, it's good for other kendoists, sword-wielders, and less-versatile schools of grappling; however, it's at a serious disadvantage to anyone who wields two single-handed weapons or is good at barehanded combat."

"Interesting analysis." He smiled, and gestured toward the door. "Care to dine?"

She grimaced, then felt a gentle rumbling below. "I... I guess. I'm so hungry that I might actually enjoy their food." The two entered the hospital together, their movements watched by the orderlies, and headed toward the cafeteria.

Ranma sighed. The cafeteria food wasn't that bad... once you realized what it was for. It gave a balanced meal to an army of two hundred; nothing more, nothing less. It didn't try to be tasty or fancy; it just gave the basics.

A lot like the hospital, really... She sighed at the food offered her, then sat down at one of the tables. She paused for a moment at what was about to enter her mouth before biting into it.

"So... are your relatives coming this Saturday?" Kunou sat down next to her, and began eating.

"Um... yeah. From what I heard, Kasumi and my mom are coming over." Ranma took another bite of the food, purposely ignoring the taste. "How about you?"

Kunou sighed. "My family cares not for my fate. The last I heard before coming here was that my sister was in China seeking you out, and my father was unchanged."

Ranma closed her eyes. Something unpleasant was coming up... and it wasn't the food. "I... don't know which is worse."

"What do you mean?"

She sighed, and pushed the food away for a moment. "A... My family life was never very stable. When I was three years old, my father took me away on a training trip. Every moment for the next decade was spent in constant perfection of my form, to mold me into a martial artist. I didn't have a father... I had a drill instructor."

Her fingers rubbed gently against the table. "When... I finally met my mother, I found that she _wanted_ to be a mother to me, someone I could talk to and seek guidance from. Unfortunately... I found that she could be a little..."

"Crazy?" Kunou supplied.

Ranma couldn't help but chuckle. "Overbearing was what I was thinking of. She was very strict about how I treated others, and about how I lived my life. It helped me out in some ways; it allowed me to finally resolve the fiancee problem. Unfortunately..."

"Unfortunately?"

"She doesn't know what to do with me anymore." She took a sip of her water. "After I got back from searching for a cure, her behavior was... well... erratic. She'd take me shopping for clothes, then quit altogether when I only wanted certain styles. She still wanted me to get together with Akane, and would ask me why I wasn't trying harder to keep the relationship together."

Kunou smiled. "So which is better? A crazy family who doesn't care, or a crazy family who cares?"

Ranma snorted. "Good question, Kunou." She continued eating her food, and talked while eating at the same time. "Y'know, Kunou..."

"Yes?"

Her eyes smiled. "You could join us, if you like. I... I'll be honest: I'd like a friend there when she arrives."

Kunou nodded. "Understandable. I have a session before then; however, I hope to make it there before your family arrives." He put a morsel in his mouth, and chewed thoughtfully.

"By the way..."

"What is it, Kunou?"

"Why isn't Akane coming?" Kunou's eyes stared through Ranma for a moment.

"She's... not allowed." Ranma began eating at a faster pace. "I wouldn't react well to her presence at this time."

Kunou frowned. "It hurts that much, huh?"

"I... I don't know, Kunou. I don't really feel like killing myself right now... but I don't know what I'd do if I saw Akane and Ryouga again. I mean... I know it's over... but someone hasn't told my heart yet."

"And what are you going to do when they let you out? You can't avoid them forever, you know. Unless you _want_ to spend another two months here..."

Ranma ate another morsel of food, and savored its bitter taste. "I know, Kunou. I know. But right now... I don't know where else to go."

*********************************************************************

"Hello, Tatewaki. Care to sit down?"

Kunou let out a deep, patient sigh. The psychiatrists were the one part of his stay that he hated the most. His mind was his own, and the probing questions and devil's tricks of the doctors made him feel vulnerable. Besides... he always felt a lot worse going out of the chair than in. That hurt would fade after awhile, but it would still linger, tickling at the darker parts of his soul. He sat down in the chair, and cast his eyes to the ceiling.

"I understand that you've been talking with that Saotome woman."

Kunou scowled. "Please do not refer to her as such unless she gives you permission. She is as much man as I am, even though her body may say otherwise."

The doctor raised an eyebrow. "I am surprised you would say something like that, especially given your... active fantasy life."

The young man fought back a wave of revulsion. "Doctor, my fantasies are my own. They do not rule me anymore."

Kunou could _hear_ the doctor smirk. "So... the medications we've been giving you are helping?"

"I did not say that." Kunou fixed his eyes on a small spot above him. If he could just lose himself in that one spot... "There are more pressing reasons why I choose to leave this fantasy."

"Such as?"

"Friendship." Kunou turned back to the doctor. "Ranma and I... we both need a friend right now. She's hurting from her breakup with Akane, and I... am hurting from too many things to mention."

The doctor wrote some notes on his pad, then continued. "Are you sure that there are no... ulterior motives to your relationship?"

Kunou almost jumped out of the couch. "Excuse me?"

"Something for you to think about, Tatewaki." The doctor set his notepad aside for a moment. "For the first time, you have your precious pigtailed girl by your side. She needs your help, and wishes to fight alongside you - just like in your fantasies. Who cares that she was once a man, and still considers herself as such? She's still the pigtailed girl, and she needs you... wants you there... yearns for you..."

Something snapped inside Kunou at the last words. For a moment, it seemed that a volcano had erupted in his eyes, as they glowed red against the rising sun in the window. There was only so much dishonor a man could take, and this fool had crossed that line.

"Sir, I don't know if what you say is true or not. I could still be lusting after her, or I could still be lost in my fantasies. I don't know anymore. Thanks to you, I don't know _anything_ for certain anymore. All I know is that she needs help, and I need help. And if that isn't enough reason to try to help her... then you've been in this office too long." Kunou trembled in his rage, then slowly backed off. "Doctor."

Unfazed by Kunou's outburst, the psychiatrist picked up his notebook, and jotted some notes. Letting out a long sigh, he looked over at the patient, his eyes tired.

"What will you do if she asks you to leave?"

For a moment, Kunou hesitated. He'd spoken the truth earlier; he honestly didn't know... and not knowing scared him. "Leave... I hope."

The psychiatrist nodded. "Good. It means... it means you're learning how to deal with your fantasies." He let out a sigh, and turned the page of his notebook. "Now... tell me about your mother's death..."

*********************************************************************

Kasumi normally loved to visit hospitals. There was something about the healing of the body that drew her to places like this; there were few callings on earth more noble or sacred. She spent many an afternoon at Tofu's clinic or at Nerima General, visiting with the patients there and making sure they were well spiritually as well as physically.

Which was one reason why this particular hospital gave her the willies.

She was no stranger to psychological damage. Indeed, there were so many scars lurking beneath her housewife's mask that she sometimes thought she deserved a place here. These people, though... there was no hope for a few of them. She had visited here a few times before; almost all were charming and polite... but there was an emptiness to the gazes of some, as though the walls around them were all they knew. One in particular got her attention: she had been a resident for ten years, and showed no signs of getting out anytime soon.

Even death held more hope than that.

She shook the fears from the cloak of her mind, and looked down the hallway. There were others coming to visit, to comfort these lost souls, but she knew that far too many would be alone today. Her heart instinctively went out to them, even while she shied from their presence. She meekly followed Nodoka down the hallway to the small cell... Ranma's second home.

Her eyebrows raised, though, when she saw who was by Ranma's side. She remembered Kunou Tatewaki from Nabiki's high-school days; while he was always gracious to her, she disliked his archaic views on women, as well as his designs on her sister and her sis... and Ranma.

"Hello, Ranma!" Nodoka gave a mother's greeting next to her, and rushed to embrace her child. Kasumi merely gave a soft greeting; this was a moment between mother and child, and any words from her now would spoil it.

"Hi, Mom." Kasumi felt like crying on seeing Ranma's face. The young man she'd come to admire was gone forever, a victim of a broken heart. This new person in front of her... she held secrets and pains deep inside, scars only someone else scarred would ever recognize. She seemed to move like a young woman: tentative, but with a touch of careful grace. Kasumi looked at the woman's hands, and the ugly white scars around her wrists; a flash of dying flesh burned through her memory, as she tried to keep life flowing in Ranma's empty veins.

Ranma noticed Kasumi's eyes, and pulled the hands beneath the sheets. "Hey, Kasumi. How are you doing?"

Kasumi stopped for a moment; the words she had planned felt meaningless. "We're doing okay, Ranma. Father and Uncle Saotome are debating what to do with the dojo; your... reaction to certain problems brought things to a head. Akane's been lonely since you left; it seems like every day she spends at the dojo, making repairs or practicing."

"How fares Nabiki?"

Kasumi blinked at Kunou's question, but quickly recovered. "She's doing well. She just started her second year at college, and says that the business classes are too easy."

Both of the hospital's residents nodded in appreciation. "That's good," Kunou whispered. "She was always the best of us at Furinkan."

Nodoka coughed, getting the others' attentions. "Um... Ranma? Honestly: how is it here? You look so pale, so thin..."

Ranma chuckled softly. "Well... the cooking's atrocious, the doctors are bastards, and the other inmates aren't that good on conversation." She looked over to Kunou for a moment. "Well, most of them, anyway."

"Thank you," Kunou replied.

Kasumi's eyes were on Nodoka for much of the exchange. The matriarch was holding something back...

"Um... Pardon me, sir, but how do you know my child? Or the Tendos, for that matter?

Kunou frowned. "I... I was in the same class as Tendo Nabiki. I also... had a crush on Akane and on the 'pigtailed girl', though I didn't know her identity then."

Something flashed in Nodoka's eyes, a simmering that Kasumi didn't like one bit. Fortunately, Ranma beat her to the punch.

"How are you and Tofu doing, Kasumi?"

She blushed. _That_ would definitely distract her. "Well... we came to an understanding after your... problem. Things are a lot better between us."

Ranma grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Enough for you to be wearing an engagement ring?"

Kasumi instinctively covered her left hand. "Um... well... yes." She smiled; she was almost giddy about it, but didn't want to depress Ranma.

The warm smile was all the assurance Kasumi needed. "Good. I... I hope the two of you are very happy together." Ranma looked from Kasumi to her mother.

"Mom... seriously. How are you doing?"

The walls Nodoka had built started to crumble around her. "Well, Ranma... I'm okay... I'm just wondering what possessed you to do something like this."

The smile on Ranma's face vanished. "I didn't have anything to live for, Mom. And.... and right now I still don't."

Something seemed to flare up inside of the older woman. "But, Ranma... you have your friends, your family... you still have Akane waiting for you..."

"As what, Mom? A _girl_ friend? Just a business partner? We were supposed to be MARRIED, Mom! We were supposed to have kids running around by now!" Ranma's anger deflated as the sobs came through. "And that... knowing I'd lost... nothing is worth it..."

Nodoka was positively livid - her eyes twitched as she spoke, and her voice was starting to carry from the room. "Not worth it? We _raised_ you, Ranma!" Tears were beginning to form in her eyes. "How can you say that we mean nothing to you? Didn't you care about the hurt you'd cause us with your... your act?"

"OF COURSE I CARED!" Ranma sobbed. "I... I cared... too much..." The sobs degenerated, as human speech was replaced by animal whimpers.

Kunou got up on the bed, and wrapped his arms protectively around her. "I think it's time you left, Mrs. Saotome."

"And who are you to say whether I should leave my child?" Nodoka positively growled at the man.

Kunou kept his gaze. "Just a friend who knows a lot more about what she's feeling than you do."

Kasumi watched all of this, her throat dry. She... she honestly didn't know what to do. She moved over, and grabbed Nodoka by the arm.

"Auntie Saotome? I think it would be best for Ranma if we left." In a quieter, harsher voice, she whispered, "Ranma is here to get better. Do not make this any harder than it has to be on her."

Veins popped out on Nodoka's forehead and neck, as she strained to hold back choice words. "As... as you wish, Kasumi. However, the next time I am here, I will visit with my child - alone." She flashed Kunou a dark look, and stormed out of the room.

Kasumi flashed an apologetic smile. "I'll talk to her once we get back home. All right?"

Ranma nodded between sobs. "Th... thanks, Kasumi."

Kasumi left the room as fast as she could. She trusted Kunou (for once) to take care of Ranma; Nodoka would need her help. She looked down the hall, and saw Nodoka storming her way to the exit.

"Auntie Saotome! Wait!"

The older woman stopped. Kasumi could hear her sobs; she pulled out a tissue from her pocket, and offered it to her.

A moment later, Nodoka straightened up. "Th... thank you, Kasumi."

"Auntie Saotome, may I speak freely?"

She sighed. "You're going to tell me that what I did in there was a mistake. I already know that; I just... lost control."

She had to smile. Nodoka may not have been perfect... but she at least realized when she was wrong. "Auntie Saotome, you have to understand that Ranma is grown now. Whether we like it or not, she has been taught everything she needs to know. It's now time for us to have faith in her."

Nodoka nodded quickly. "I know. I... just don't want her to make a mistake. She's more vulnerable than she realizes right now."

Kasumi shook her head. "If Ranma didn't realize how vulnerable she is, she would have left here by now."

"I suppose you're right." The matriarch straightened up, and fixed the wrinkles in her kimono. "Come on, Kasumi. It's time we went home."

*********************************************************************

Kunou knew what it meant to be out of control.

He just never knew what to do when someone else was out of control.

Ranma was, quite literally, a mess. She was sobbing uncontrollably, in a way she probably hadn't done since childhood - if then. She occasionally tried to mumble something through her tears; all that came out were howls and grunts. Her body was contorted into a fetal ball, shivering as though she were freezing.

Kasumi had left a minute before; to her credit and his honor, she left him to take care of Ranma. He slipped an arm around her waist, and began to whisper in her ear. It felt... well, natural; after all, he'd done this for Kodachi once.

"It's okay, Ranma. You don't have to worry about it; she's gone. You don't have to worry, Ranma. You're not alone; I'm here, helping you... just like I always have."

Ranma began to quiet down, her sobs calming enough to form words.

"W... why? Mom..."

"She loves you, Ranma. She always has, she always will. She... just made a mistake."

"I... need to talk..."

"Later, Ranma. You're not ready now; you're scared, and hurting... you need to calm down."

"I... no... I'm ready..."

Kunou put his hands over her eyes. "No, you're not, Ranma. You're not thinking clearly. Just... just rest, and everything will be much better afterwards."

He swallowed; he could feel her movements stilling... resting. Tear streaks marred her face, her eyes shone red from crying... she was like a little girl, lost and scared.

And she never looked more lovely in his eyes.

She fought to smile; it was clearly an effort. "Th... thanks, Kunou." Her entire body seemed to melt into him, as her breathing became shallow.

"Kunou?" she whispered.

"Yes?"

"Why did you comfort me like that?" To his surprise, her words were soft... friendly.

"I... when my mother died, Kodachi was acting just like you did. Mother... was the glue that held our family together, and when she died, we all fell apart. Kodachi was only nine at the time; she started crying uncontrollably after we got the news. I... didn't know what else to do to calm her down."

She seemed to laugh - at least, it looked like an effort to. "Does that mean I'm... going to be calling myself 'Black Rose' and taking... gymnastics in the future?"

"I should hope not," Kunou whispered, forcing down more choice replies. He was on a knife's edge in her bed; he wanted to comfort her, to let her know that she wasn't alone... but he was finding something in the way of that care. Something familiar, something distracting; a siren's call to his doom. He shuffled close to the edge of the bed, and moved to get off.

"Kunou?"

"Yes?"

The words came difficult out of her mouth, he could tell. "Thanks."

Mustering what little self-control he had left, Kunou eased off the bed, and straightened his pajamas. Looking down at her, he allowed himself a fleeting touch of her hand - a subtle gesture of goodbye. "Anytime, Ranma. Anytime."

*********************************************************************

For a moment, Ranma wondered if paranoia had set in.

First there was her mother. Mom probably didn't know much about why a person would kill herself; she definitely didn't know how to respond to one. Some of the things she said... they were like giving her another razor to finish the job. She knew Mom meant well; problem was, meaning well and doing well were two very different things.

Then came Kunou.

The fool had been ignoring her, ever since she'd calmed down after the visit. He hid inside his room during the outside breaks, finished his meals before she had a chance to sit down, and generally went out of his way to avoid contact with her. She'd tried to find him, but all that he'd do would be to run away, close to the orderlies.

It was enough to make her wonder if the whole world was against her. She'd been wary of others ever since her fiancee had... had left her, and this new behavior from others set her nerves on edge. She marched down the corridor and to his room, loudly knocking on the door to get his attention.

"Oi, Kunou! You in there?"

"Please leave, Ranma." The voice inside sounded haggard... weak. "I... don't want you to see me this way."

She blinked. Kunou... was ashamed of himself? "Kunou, what's wrong? Please, I can't help you unless you let me in."

The door opened a crack, enough for her to enter. Kunou was at the other end by the time she opened the door, his face turned away.

"Kunou...?"

A long silence reigned for a moment, as Kunou tried to will thoughts into words. "Saotome... it is best if we didn't help each other. You will be leaving soon; it would be to both of our advantages if we did not fraternize during our stay here."

Ranma blinked, as though slapped. She found a soft aching in her heart - an aching she'd recognized from the departure of too many friends. "Kunou, if that's the way you want it... I will respect your wishes. But only if you tell me why."

Kunou shuddered. "I... can't."

Ranma's anger was starting to flare. "Why not, Kunou? What could be so bad that you have to hide from me?"

Kunou looked away, his eyes darting around like a caged animal. Words formed again, slowly, with more resistance.

"Ranma... I... I love you."

Ranma's blood ran cold. "You... love me? And that's why you're running away from me?"

"Yes," Kunou whispered. he straightened up, and tried to smooth the wrinkles out of his pajamas. "I... I no longer love the pigtailed girl. She was a figment of my imagination. You, on the other hand... you don't even realize how breathtaking you are. You're kind, patient, strong, independent... you're everything a man could ask for in a woman. And that hurts... because you're also the best friend a man could ask for."

Ranma's mouth hung open in shock. She couldn't feel her knees; she held onto the wall for support. She remembered how she felt before, after he'd first admitted his love for the 'pigtailed girl'; all the revulsion and fear and wonder that became her thoughts of this man.

"K... Kunou?" Her mind was racing; she didn't know what to do. She was feeling so much, thinking confusing and contradictory and painful thoughts... but she _had_ to stay with him. She had to. She touched his arm; it felt like pinpricks on her fingertips.

He shrank from the contact. "Yes, Ranma?"

Words came to her, a question the doctor had asked her once during her stay. "Do... do you love me enough to be my friend?"

She could see the confusion in his eyes; it mirrored her own. They were so much alike, quiet people with storms raging inside. She could see the light in his eyes, and his head nod its affirmative.

"Yeah, Ranma..." His voice gained more conviction. "Yeah."

"Good." She took a step toward him, and wrapped her arms around him. "Because... you're all I've got left. And I don't... I don't want to lose you."

A shiver went up her spine, as Kunou's arms returned the embrace. "You won't lose me, Saotome Ranma. I... I promise." She felt... she felt safe in his arms. It had been so long... she wasn't even sure if this was what it was supposed to feel like.

All she knew was that, for the first time in seventeen months, she was safe.

*********************************************************************

Ranma stepped out into the courtyard. It was evening; normally the patients weren't allowed after dark, but she had to do this.

To put it simply, it felt right.

"Now... will you care to explain to me what you want to show me out here? I have my rest to think about as well, you know."

Ranma smiled. "Okay. Just sit back, and watch."

She moved her hands in the ready position, and took a deep breath. Her center was clear... but not calm; it was like there was a buzzing around it, ready to explode. She punched into the air, using her energy to propel her forward, and immersed herself into the kata.

She could feel the world around her, the electric fire that bound everything together as she went through the moves. Her mind danced in the past, reliving her life as Saotome Ranma... and not being disturbed at bit. She could see the times they'd shared, and laugh about them - or, at the very least, smile. She jabbed a foot into the air, imagining fights that she'd fought... fights she'd won and lost, all in the name of friendship and love. She moved, blocking and dancing around an invisible opponent... her shadow, her fears.

And, all through it, she felt a presence around her, circling her, keeping her warm... defending her blind spots. She knew who he was; she could admit it now. She still wasn't sure what to do about him, but she would know... in time. For now, he was there, and she was there. That's all that mattered to her

A minute later, with a careful defensive stance, it was done. It took a moment to realize she was smiling; she couldn't feel much of her corporeal form, she was so giddy.

"Very good, Ranma! That was..."

She opened her eyes. "That was the Art, Doctor, in its purest form." She bowed to the psychiatrist and orderly, like a student to a master. "Now do you know why this was so important to me?"

The doctor smiled. "So... what brought about this change?"

She smiled. "I'm not alone anymore. I... I may never be able to love someone like everyone else does. But... I know that I have a friend. Someone who loves me... enough to be my friend."

The doctor wrote some notes on his pad, and moved toward the entrance. "That's good, Ranma. I... hope you don't mind if I appear skeptical, but I would like to wait a few more days before releasing you, to make sure this is not a temporary thing."

Ranma smiled. She knew this wasn't temporary; it was too strong to be that. "Sure thing, Doc. I... I think I can wait that long."

"I will contact your family, however, to make sure to pick you up when you are released."

She smiled. She wasn't afraid anymore; not after what had happened. "Sounds good to me, Doc. I... It's been too long."

The doctor smiled. "You will come and visit, won't you? It's so rare that we have entertainment around here."

Ranma blinked; it hadn't occurred to her to come back and visit. "Um... sure. I... I will. I promise."

*********************************************************************

The flowers were blooming well, Ranma thought. Summer's zenith had come while she'd been locked up here, so the only flowers she could enjoy were the ones the sanitarium provided. Still, they were nice ones; the bright corona of the sunflowers, the irises with their fluted petals, the delicate pale-blue flower of the lilac...

"Ranma."

She straightened up from the flowers, and took a deep breath. This was not going to be easy, not by any stretch of the imagination. She turned around, only to find his words waiting for her.

"Ranma, I apologize."

She blinked. This was not what she'd expected. "Um... for what?"

Kunou bowed deeply. "For my unfeeling words yesterday. I... I didn't think of how the words would make you feel." He turned away. "I'd better be going-"

"Wait." She felt the words leap from her throat. "Don't go." She swallowed. "Not now. Please."

Kunou turned around, but was silent.

"Kunou... don't be sorry. What you said had to be said - just as what I said needed to come out."

She moved over to him, and hugged him across the chest. "Kunou, I... I needed to hear what you said last night. If you had kept it inside, I would have figured it out eventually, and probably would've been mad as anything. By... saying it in a way that wasn't a come-on, you showed that you really cared for me as a friend." She shuffled her feet on the ground. "Also... you helped me face some things."

Kunou's whole body seemed to melt in her arms. "Ranma... how could I have helped you? What I did was selfish, and rude, and -"

"And necessary. I... the stuff the docs were trying to tell me never settled in - until I found myself in their shoes. I... I've let go, Kunou. I've let go." Her grip tightened around Kunou's waist, then relaxed.

"So... you don't love Akane anymore?" The young man raised an eyebrow - a trait Ranma found endearing. She smiled, and shook her head.

"Kunou, I do love Akane. I learned to love her enough to forgive her, and to allow her to be happy." Her voice broke for a moment. "If... Ryouga makes her happy, then I'll let them be together."

She looked up at him. His dark eyes sparkled with guarded happiness. "So... you're okay now?"

She nodded. She was more than okay... though she'd never tell him that. "Yeah. The docs say that I can get out of here in a couple of days, once they make sure I'm okay."

An all-too-common sight greeted her at the words - brown, mournful eyes. "I... will miss your presence here. You have been an enormous help to me during my stay."

Ranma laughed softly. "Kunou, don't worry. You'll be out of here soon enough. They're due to let you out in a week, right?"

Kunou nodded. "They are. It feels like I've been here forever, though."

"It'll be strange to go back, Kunou. But remember: if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be there." She backed away, and gave a squeeze to his hand. "Okay?"

"Okay." A gentle smile adorned Kunou's face; it seemed that he, too, was learning to let go. "I... will look forward to seeing you in something other than pajamas."

Ranma laughed. "So will I, Kunou. So will I." She ran from the courtyard and into the hospital, her hand never leaving his.

*********************************************************************

Tendo Akane walked through the front doors of the hospital, every instinct inside of her screaming to run, and sat down in the waiting lobby. Her eyes darted to and fro; she knew who the patients were in a place like this, and it gave her the creeps. These people were.... well, crazy.

And Ranma was now among them.

Had been among them, she corrected herself. She was getting out today, after two months... two months too long. She needed to see Ranma's strong, powerful body, her rosy cheeks, her reckless smile... anything to wipe that picture from her mind. There wasn't a night that went by that Akane wouldn't see her image, and fight to hold the tears down.

She'd tried. She'd honestly tried to make the transition from fiancee to friend as painless as possible for Ranma - without success. She'd taken Ranma shopping, dragged her on "girls' nights out", talked with her, asked her how she was feeling... then accidentally walked in on her in the bath.

Ranma's heart had stopped twice that night. She didn't know how the paramedics brought her back; she didn't want to know. All that mattered was that Ranma was back and well... and, hopefully, ready to live again. She heard a shuffling around her, but she paid it no attention.

"Hey, Akane."

She looked up. Ranma stood before her, clad in her typical Chinese outfit. There was something different about her; she seemed to radiate peace and tranquility. Her smile was the kind reserved for saints or madmen; her eyes shone blue without any malice. It was almost as though she were born again. Akane tried to find her voice, to find some words for this... this homecoming.

"Um... hi." She got up, and inspected her more closely. She winced when she saw the scars, but other than that... "Welcome back."

Ranma looked to the floor. "Sorry, Akane... I..."

"Shhh, Ranma." She embraced the girl, holding in her arms and not wanting to let go. "No.... you don't have to apologize. For anything."

"But..."

"I'm sorry. I tried to... tried to go on.... but... I rushed things. I'm sorry." She started crying - tears which stopped as Ranma broke the embrace. Ranma just _looked_ back at her, her blue eyes piercing to the core.

"Akane... I officially break the engagement between us. If... If Ryouga makes you happy, then I won't stand in the way."

Akane blinked. "You mean... Ranma, you..." The tears came full force. No power on earth could stop them; it hurt so much to let go, to say goodbye.... but it felt good as well. "I... okay, Ranma. If... if it's okay with you, then... okay." She winced; she hated situations like this.

Ranma nodded her reply. "I... I'm sorry I put you through all that. You didn't deserve it. You were only trying to go on with your life; you didn't deserve to have me in the way."

"Oh, Ranma..." Akane would have hit her, if she'd been elsewhere. "Baka. When you're here, you'll never be in the way. I... I love you. You.... I hope you're my best friend now. And I will ALWAYS respect that."

"Thanks, Akane." Ranma looked back to the doorway she came from. "And... I don't know if you're my best friend, but... you're close enough."

Akane looked over to the receptionist's booth. "Is there anything else we need to do? Everyone's waiting at home."

Ranma stopped for a moment at the word 'home'. "Um... Akane?"

"Yes?"

"A lot happened... while I was in there. We're going to need to sit down and talk. Later."

Akane blinked. "What happened? You didn't meet some cute girl while you were in there, did you?"

To her surprise, Ranma gave a wicked, enigmatic smile. Mischievous laughter pealed from her throat as she opened the door, to let Akane into the light.

*********************************************************************

The shirt felt strange around Kunou Tatewaki, though not in an unpleasant way. He had become accustomed to the flannel of the standard-issue pajamas; to feel a linen shirt around him was almost erotic. The slacks came on with a quick slip and zip, making him feel a little more normal. He put on the socks and shoes, then looked in the mirror.

Gods, it was good to be back.

He still wasn't sure what to do about his future. The Kunou estate had enough money for him to support himself in perpetuity; however, a warrior became corrupt by staying away from the world, something he never wanted again. He vowed to return to school, to finish what he had started - once he was mature enough to go. With a fluid motion, he picked up his bag of medications and walked to the door.

"Ready to go?" the receptionist asked.

He nodded. "It has been too long. I missed the cherry blossoms in my absence; I do not intend to miss them again."

She shrugged. "The bloom wasn't very good this year, for some reason. Still... it is missed, if you end up here."

Kunou nodded. "True. Now, may I please be let out?"

"Of course." She pushed the button in the office, releasing the door.

The door opened, and Kunou had to hold back his tears. For the first time, in too long, he was free. He never knew the meaning of the word... until it was taken from him. He let the air come into his lungs, the stale, air-conditioned, but free air he'd yearned for so long to taste.

"Oi, Kunou. You gonna go through, or do you want to stay?"

Kunou blinked, then stepped through. "Hello, Ranma. It's nice to see you again."

And it most definitely was. She looked different from the shattered person that had entered the hospital, or the 'pigtailed girl' he tried to woo with his odious charms. She'd cut her hair into a short, flattering bob; it would be a long time before anyone called her 'pigtailed girl' again. Also, her clothes were different; the button-down summer shirt and slacks, likely borrowed from Nabiki, weren't quite what he was used to from her.

Not that he wanted to complain, mind you...

"... you look nice."

"Thanks," she said noncommittally, then looked downward. "Kunou?"

"Yes?"

"I... talked with Akane."

His eyebrow raised ever-so-slightly. "And?"

"Well, I'm no longer engaged, for one..." Ranma snorted, then met his eyes. "Akane was wondering if you'd be willing to start a kendo class at the dojo."

He blinked at her. Him... teach? "She... wants me to start teaching?"

She nodded. "She and Ryouga are trying to get the dojo running again. They figured that, if they offered as many different classes as they could, that they'd be able to attract a larger number of students."

He smiled slightly. Perhaps *this* was his calling in life. "Would the fair Akane be averse to me taking time to go to college?"

Ranma smiled. Gods, he loved that smile. "Nope. In fact, she planned for the two of us to go to college while we taught. It'll take a lot of studying... but, together, I think we could do it."

"To... gether?" Kunou looked at her strangely. Was this the same Ranma he knew?

Ranma frowned, her eyes turning darker. "Kunou, we need each other right now. That might change once you meet some cute girl, but for now you need someone to call a friend." The eyes brightened. "Besides, have you seen your sister lately? She's nuts!"

Kunou sighed. "You know, perhaps she would be served well by some time in therapy..."

"Don't tempt me," Ranma agreed. Her eyes seemed to laugh, something he'd not seen in too long.

"So... you gonna come along?" She grabbed his hand, and pulled him to the door.

"As you wish, milady." He walked out the entrance and into the light of day. For the first time since he was a child, though, he knew that he didn't walk alone.

*********************************************************************

FIN

*********************************************************************

Thanks to Da Guyz and to Jeff Hosmer for their critiques on this.

Original version: July 22, 1998

Sent to fanfiction dot net: March 24, 2009


	3. Destination Unknown

*Left... right... left... right...kick...* Hiroshi kept his eyes fixed toward the end of the dojo, his moves mimicking the sensei's as best he could. Focus was the first thing they taught; he struggled to keep his eyes on the sensei, even as a bird chirped noisily just outside the building's doors, and a koi splashed in the pond nearby. His little body strained with effort as sensei's instructions were followed, even while his muscles ached. He had made a promise to obey sensei, and he would not break that promise. After all, a warrior's word was his bond, his honor... his life.

"Okay, that's enough." The sensei bowed to the class, causing twenty heads to bow in response. Hiroshi smiled; he didn't mind how tired he was, he was just glad to be doing something good, something he could understand. He walked over to the side of the room, and picked up his bookbag.

"Oh, Hiroshi?"

He blinked. One of the other senseis approached him, her black hair tied back in a ponytail. Instinctively he straightened up; he hated being short. "Yes, sensei?"

"Your mother called. She said she was going to be a little late picking you up."

Hiroshi sighed. Late again...

"Do you want to watch the kendo class work out, or would you like to go inside and get something to eat?"

Hiroshi was about to ask to stay; unfortunately, the rumbling of his stomach betrayed him. "I'll go inside, Sensei."

He walked out of the dojo, stopping for a moment to sneak up on a bird before going in. The bird, unfortunately, was too fast for him, and flew off to safer ground. Sighing, thinking that he'd never be a good martial artist, Hiroshi walked into the house.

In an instant, his heart stopped. Sensei - HIS sensei - was there, casually eating one of the snacks set out on the table. Blushing, he sat down next to her.

"Hey, Hiroshi." She smiled warmly at him, and handed him a rice cake. "Want one?"

Hiroshi grinned. One thing he liked about Sensei was that she _didn't_ talk like other girls; her speech was somewhere between boys' and girls' proper speech. It was nice, a pleasant change from the cutesy stuff he usually heard from his female classmates.

"Thank you, Sensei." He took the cake in his hand and bit into it, enjoying the sweet taste. His eyes cast to the floor; he didn't want her to see him blushing.

"Is... is something wrong, Hiroshi? Akane's usually a better cook than that."

His blush deepened. "Um... no, Sensei."

She smiled again knowingly, making Hiroshi's blush even worse. "So. How's school going?"

He shrugged. "School's okay, I guess."

"Have you brought your grades up in Math?"

Hiroshi grumbled. Sensei would have to bring that up. "I... not too good, Sensei. I mean, it just doesn't make *sense* to me." He stared down at his cake, and took a savage bite from it.

"Don't worry. I didn't do that well in math either when I was your age. Just stick to it, and you'll do fine."

"Yes, Sensei." He hung his head low. He would do better... he had to. His eyes looked up to Sensei's gentle face; somehow, that made him feel like it didn't matter, that everything would be okay.

His gaze shifted across her form, over to her uncovered arms. Normally wrist bracers protected them from view; to be honest, she seemed almost naked without them on. Her wrists were a lot like Mom's: thin, wiry, with surprising strength for their size. He paused; there was something else on the inside of her right one...

"Sensei, how did you get that scar?"

Her hand instinctively closed around her wrist; he wondered at that. Was she ashamed of them? Girls sometimes were ashamed of stuff like that... After a moment, she turned her wrists over, so that he could see both of them.

Each one had an identical scar.

"Hiroshi... a long time ago, I made a terrible mistake. I... tried to kill myself."

Hiroshi looked up at Sensei, wide-eyed. "Why would you want to kill yourself?"

Sensei only shook her head sadly. "I didn't want to live as I was anymore. My fiancee had left me, my friends were gone... I couldn't see my life changing from what it had become, so I decided to end it."

Hiroshi bit his lip. "Do... you want to kill yourself now?"

To his relief, Sensei laughed - a musical chuckle that echoed through the house. "No, Hiroshi. Some... new friends of mine helped me out, and showed me what I did have. I started teaching here, started going to college whenever I wasn't working... and somewhere in there I found reasons to go on."

He started when he felt Sensei grab on to his hand. "Hiroshi, I want you to promise me, on your honor. Promise me that you will never make the same mistake I made. I was so wrapped up in how things were getting worse that I couldn't see how things could get better."

Hiroshi swallowed. He knew how important promises and honor were to her - and, perhaps, now he knew why. "I promise, Sensei."

He looked up at her as he reached for a rice cake, his eyes trying to etch every detail in, just in case. Blue eyes and red lips adorned a pretty, elfin face; short, disheveled red hair topped it all off, without any sort of ribbon or bow decorating it. He noticed a small scar on her forehead, neatly obscured by her hair; beyond that, her face was absolutely beautiful. He could see the strength and gentleness behind it, with none of the feminine obsessions that normally come with it. She was a lot like the friends he had at school, but was enough of a girl to be one of their kind.

He was going to marry a girl like that some day. That Hiroshi Tanaka swore.

*****************************************

Destination Unknown

An Ranma 1/2 work of anime fanfiction; the third story in the Iris Tales

Ranma 1/2 characters created by Rumiko Takahashi. All rights reserved.

*****************************************

The wilderness surrounded Tendo Akane, sheltering her in its life. Trees guarded her every move, the birds called out their greetings... and _he_ was with her, gently leading her on. She frowned at the sky, as it threatened rain with its rumblings.

Neither of them knew when this game had started. He would lead her away from the friendly confines of the dojo, while she would try to lead him back. In the meantime, the two would get some time alone, away from the responsibilities and classes that their lives required. Occasionally it went too far (like the time they ended up in Hokkaido); for the most part, though, she didn't care where he led her, as long as she followed.

He stopped, and took in a deep breath. He was a handsome man, with rugged features and a chest carved by some Renaissance sculptor. She smiled, and slipped a hand along his abdomen.

"Lovely place you've led us to, Ryouga."

He smiled; he always did love it when she touched him there. "True, it is pretty. There are other places I would like to show you, sights that would just take your breath away."

She smiled seductively. "Then why don't you take me there?"

He laughed; she could feel his abdomen twitch. "Because we'd need a real vacation to do that, Akane." He added, almost as an afterthought, "Or a honeymoon."

She swallowed. Ryouga had been acting strangely all week - and she had a feeling as to why. The very thought both elated and scared her. She moved him around, so that their faces were inches apart.

"Ryouga?"

He blushed, and turned away; she liked having that effect on him. "Um... how's your history paper coming?"

Akane grimaced. History had all the romance of a train wreck, for her. She sighed, and pulled away slightly. "Frustratingly. I'm just not interested in Kita Ikki's writing or its influence on the country." She sighed. "Sometimes I wish I could just toss the book in the trash."

Ryouga snorted. "You always say that about any paper you're writing. You'll get through it; you always do."

She crossed her arms. "That's easy for you to say! You're not the one stuck in classes like these."

Ryouga closed his eyes at the comment, a stricken look to his face. She quickly wished her words away; not graduating from high school, let alone college, was more of an embarrassment than he cared to admit.

"Ryouga, are you okay?"

"No. I hate not being able to find my way. It's cost me so much over my life - too much, I think." He swallowed; her eyes followed the movement of his Adam's apple. His shoulders relaxed, and he opened his eyes toward her. "Akane, ever since I can remember, I've lived on my own, with no one to look after but myself. All through the time when I was growing up, I had to push people away, for my sake as well as theirs. After all, what good's a friend who gets himself lost all the time?"

He turned away for a moment. "I... I can't live like that, anymore, Akane. The dojo is my home, now. I love getting up in the morning and working with Ranma and Tatewaki... and with you, Akane. I live for seeing your smile in the morning, hearing your laughter like music, and for tasting that cooking you've worked so hard to perfect."

Akane took a second to find her voice. "Ryouga..." Callused hands touched her lips, silencing them.

"Akane... I want to be with you for the rest of your life. I want to love you, and protect you until we are both old and gray. I want to be the father of your children." He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a ring. "Will you marry me?"

The breath caught in her throat. She looked up at him, at his dark, expressive eyes, his pleading fang-toothed smile, that ratty old headband he just can't seem to part with... she struggled to find her voice.

"I... Ryouga, can I think about it for a day or two?"

He nodded evenly. "You need to talk to Ranma, don't you?"

She swallowed. "Yes, Ryouga. Yes, I do. She deserves that much, especially after I..."

Ryouga's face fell. "Akane..." She could see the protests on his lips, the urges that it wasn't her fault, that it was his... but she knew better. And he knew how deeply she thought so. "Okay. I... I'll be waiting."

She tried to smile. "Okay." She slipped the ring into her pocket, and looked around. "Now where did you take us to this time...?"

*****************************************

Ranma relaxed in the bathtub, letting the day's aches and pains soak away. She lifted a leg and touched the water, just enough for ripples to radiate from where her toe broke the surface. A smile came to her face as she watched the ripples flow outward until they bounced off of the bathtub's walls.

She'd finally learned to enjoy baths again. They had always been a pleasure to her before the final change; afterwards, they just reminded her of what she'd lost. Now, though... now it was just water again, with nothing poignant or life-changing or painful about it.

Her life had come full circle, and for once she was able to enjoy it. She almost felt like falling asleep in the water, she was so tired.

"Ranma? May I come in?"

She blinked, willing herself awake. Akane was at the other end of the door. "Sure, Akane."

Ranma fought the urge to cover her eyes at Akane's entrance; some habits were hard to break, after all. She watched casually as Akane sat down at the shower, and began to scrub.

"So. How were your classes today?"

Ranma blinked at Akane's question. "Good. It looks like this beginner's class is going to work out." She traced a line along the water's edge. "How about yours?"

Akane shrugged beneath the soap bubbles. "It's doing well. It's... I like working with kids."

Ranma smiled quietly. "I know what you mean. It... it feels good to be able to teach others what I know - without having to toss them into a pit of cats or a Jusenkyo spring." She leaned back into the water, and enjoyed its warmth. "And what did you and Ryouga do tonight? You two were gone a long time; I was beginning to wonder if you'd make it tonight."

Akane paused for a moment, just as she was reaching for a bucket of water. After a moment, she poured it over herself, rinsing the soap away. "Well... we sorta ended up in this forest outside of the city. It wasn't too far; we talked for awhile, spent some time to ourselves, then went home."

There was hesitation in Akane's voice, something not lost on the redhead. Akane was clearly holding something back. "What's bothering you, Akane?"

Akane lathered her hair, apparently trying to ignore the question. "What makes you think that something is bothering me?"

She let out a soft chuckle in response. "Akane, I know you too well. I was two days from marrying you, remember?"

Something stiffened in Akane at those words, causing Ranma to frown. She hated when her suspicions were correct... "He asked you to marry him, didn't he?"

Akane rinsed the soap from her hair, then turned toward the bathtub. "Yes. Yes, he did."

"And are you going to accept?"

A painful silence passed between the two of them. "Yes," she whispered.

Ranma settled into the tub, her eyes closed. She felt a wave of old emotions surround her like a comfortable jacket. Her eyes opened at a splashing sound near her, and she instinctively moved to one side of the bathtub.

"Tell me what you're feeling, Ranma."

Ranma brought her knees in closer to her chest. "Akane... when it comes to stuff like this, there are two very different sides of me. There's a part of me that's very happy for you, and wishes you and Ryouga all the best. Lord knows the two of you deserve it after all that's happened."

"And the other part?"

She closed her eyes. "The other part is the one that's trying to keep from crying."

She felt rather than saw Akane's hand grab her own, and hold it in a tight embrace. "Ranma, I... I'm sorry. I know how hard this must be on you."

Ranma just fixed a cold stare on her.

"Yes, I do. I know what it's like to watch someone you love go in a direction away from you. And... I know how hard it is to say goodbye."

Ranma swallowed, then nodded. "Yeah... I was pretty bad back then, wasn't I?"

"And I had to watch every step of it." Akane's voice was a whisper. "Eventually, it got to the point that I couldn't take it anymore." She looked down at their hands. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought that up."

Ranma's throat hurt; despite this, she still found the strength to chuckle. "It's okay, Akane. It's... in the past. There's nothing we can do about what's happened; all we can do is work on what's going on today."

Akane groaned. "Sometimes I think you spent too much time in that hospital, Ranma."

"Maybe." She let go of her legs, and relaxed once more. "Then again, I think I spent exactly the amount of time I needed there."

"Speaking of which..." Ranma blinked; Akane's voice had turned mischievous. "... how are you and Kunou doing?"

Ranma groaned. "We're just friends, Akane!" She started to mutter under her breath. "And you call me a pervert."

"Well, I did learn from the best." She reached over, and pecked Ranma on the cheek. "Thanks for understanding, Ranma... even if you still hurt." Akane rose from the bath, the water running down her lithe form, and made for the door.

"By the way, Ranma..."

The redhead turned to the door. "Yeah?"

"You want to go shopping tomorrow after classes?"

Ranma thought for a minute. The ache was still there... just not as intense. "Sure, Akane. I'll be there." She slid deeper into the water as Akane shut the door; she needed some more time to soak.

*****************************************

Kunou Tatewaki placed his bokken on a rack near the entrance, and slowly eased his mask off. It had been a hard day, with students and teachers both bearing down on him. He wondered when he would have time to write the essay he had due next week, considering he had a special 'tactics' class to organize for his advanced students.

It had been a rough road, he thought, coming back to this. He blew his first chance; most people weren't offered a second. Still, he was proving whoever had faith in him right; while his grades hadn't been stellar, they were good enough for passing and then some. Besides, the changes he'd gone through had shown him what he wanted to do with his life (though even he would never have guessed it).

Like his father, he hoped to become a teacher.

It had come as a surprise to him when he came to that conclusion. He still harbored some resentment for his father, and was still angry for the mad whims the crazy old man subjected him to. Nevertheless, the older he got, the more he realized how much his father was in him - both the good and the bad. The desire to guide, he believed, was one of his father's few good points.

"Hey, Kunou..."

Kunou froze. Ranma was at the entrance, clad in a casual sundress. He blinked; there was something wrong with her. She was too... it was hard to place a finger on it. "Hello, Ranma. Is something the matter?"

Her smile widened, adding to his unease. "Oh, nothing's wrong... now." She moved closer to him, almost to the point of touching.

Kunou's internal alarms started screaming when she moved close. He could smell alcohol on her breath - and Ranma NEVER drank. "Don't lie to me, Ranma. What's wrong?"

She scowled. "What, can't a girl ask a guy out on a date? Or is that too old-fashioned for you?"

He shuddered. He could feel her endowments pressing lightly against his chest; it was all he could do to keep from succumbing. Instead, he grabbed her shoulders, and put her at arm's length. "Ranma, you're drunk."

Ranma shook her head. "Am not." She held a finger up in the air. "Now the bachelor party... now there, I was drunk."

Kunou closed his eyes, and began to count to ten. "Ranma, please leave. You are not in your right mind right now." He looked outward, to the pond. "Perhaps Akane needs help with something inside."

Something twisted in Ranma's gaze - just as Kunou expected. Whatever had Ranma upset centered around Akane. "Akane don' need help. She's off with Ryouga, planning their honeymoon."

He took a deep breath, in an effort to gather his thoughts. "Did Ryouga ask Akane to marry him?"

"Whaddaya think the honeymoon's for?" Ranma shook her head, in a slightly exaggerated manner. "They even wanted my permission to do it before they went through with it. And I just *had* to give it to them." She looked upwards slightly. "Pretty night tonight, don't you think?"

Kunou nodded his head evenly. "Yes, it is." He looked for a way out - and came up with one. "Ranma, tell you what: How about we just sit in front of the pond for awhile and stare up at the stars. Does that sound good to you?"

Ranma frowned, but nodded. "Oh-kay..." He guided her over toward the pond, and helped her down. He lay down on the grass next to her, and sighed.

"Kunou?"

He bit his lip. Ranma wasn't giddy anymore, that much was obvious. "Yes?"

"Why did Akane have to leave me?"

Kunou closed his eyes, and tried to gather his words. She sounded as though she were back in the hospital - not a good sign, all around. "Ranma, I... I don't know. Sometimes... sometimes people just fall away from each other. We see what's happening, and we feel so helpless to stop it, but it just... happens. Akane fell away like that, and..."

A loud snoring interrupted Kunou's thoughts, and he turned to face his friend. Sure enough, Ranma was asleep, dead to the world. Sighing, he picked her up in his arms and carried her to her room. He fought the urge to kiss her forehead; instead, he just tucked the covers in close, ran a hand through her scarlet bangs, and walked out of the room.

*****************************************

That night, Kunou knelt in meditation in his room. Shadows flickered in the candlelight, casting eerie phantoms along the walls. He could faintly hear the roar of the city outside, as well as some minor commotion from his servant; beyond that, though, there was nothing to disturb him.

His eyes focused on the picture, and he wondered if he had gone full circle. All through his high school days, pictures of her had covered the walls, an elusive sprite for him to catch. Her picture adorned the wall once more, but was very different now. The fire-haired beauty was no longer something of myth; she was human, every bit of flesh, blood, and soul that he was.

The problem was that this made her no less attractive.

Being friends, at least, helped him deal with it. He knew her almost as well as he knew himself - indeed, she had helped him to come to know himself. There was no need for facades between them; they'd cried on each other's shoulders far too many times to count. They were... intimate, without being in love.

And now she'd asked him on a date. She was hurting, he knew; some scars never totally heal, and Akane's rejection had left scars both physical and emotional. Part of him yearned for it, to jump at the chance to date the scarlet-haired girl. Unfortunately, any such date would be a hollow one, as Ranma would be running away from something rather than running to him.

Clenching his teeth, he banged his fist against the floor. Ranma knew better than to ask him out. She knew damn well how he felt about her, and how much he held inside at times. She always knew why he occasionally refused her presence, saying it was okay every time he withdrew himself. Unfortunately, she was hurting too much to think about that, and he was paying the price.

Things were never easy for them. A small part of him hurt every time he saw her; that same part of him was now screaming into his ears. He desperately wished he could let go, forget all about reality and honor and take the redhead up on her offer, but... but he couldn't.

Damn him anyway, he couldn't. If he let go like that, knowing that Ranma did it out of some weakness, then he would lose everything that he had gained.

When did the hurting stop? Why did the battles of long ago still hurt so much? He still fought with the only weapons he had left - his honor, his soul, and his friends - and was able to squeak by. There were others he knew, both from his family and his confinement, who had not been so lucky.

Kunou blinked out of his meditations, and looked over to the candles. He had much to do tomorrow, and needed his sleep if he was to get through it.

*****************************************

Ranma woke up to the sound of an alarm clock - her usual method for getting up, now that her life was filled with term papers to write and classes to run. She groggily rolled over, pushed the snooze button, then turned over onto her back.

The previous day's events came slowly to her, moments passing by like a film on fast forward. She remembered the empty feeling that came over her with Akane's announcement... as well as her false-happy, devil-may-care attitude afterwards. She'd wanted to fill that empty space with whatever she could find -

Gritting her teeth, she exhaled, and remembered her conversation with Kunou. Dammit, she knew better than that. She knew damn well how Kunou felt about her, how much he held inside... and she'd flaunted all of that in his face, just so she could feel a little better. She definitely owed him an apology, as well as the next dinner between them.

Taking one last moment to enjoy the warmth beneath her blankets, Ranma crawled out of her futon, unconsciously grabbed some clothes, and walked down to the bath. She needed cleaning up; sleeping in the sundress was definitely not a good idea. She was almost to the bath when she saw him.

He sat in front of the pond, lost in meditation. His eyes were slits, enough to see the world outside without greeting it with a wide-eyed stare. She frowned; he wasn't supposed to arrive for classes for another three hours. Steeling herself for what was to come, she sighed, and walked over to him.

"Good morning, Kunou."

"Good morning, Ranma." She swallowed at Kunou's tone. It was formal, much like his demeanor before... before everything changed. She sat down next to him, and grabbed his hand.

"Kunou... I'm sorry for what I did yesterday. It was... just... Akane's announcement affected me more than I expected. I felt so empty... and I was desperate to fill it with whatever I could, no matter how much it hurt." She picked up a rock, and threw it into the pond. "You deserve better than what I gave you last night - a lot better."

Kunou remained silent, instead pointing his eyes at the water's ripples.

"Are you even going to speak to me?" Ranma put her hands on her hips.

He looked up at her; she steeled herself at the pain in his eyes. "I apologize, Ranma. I... I don't know what to feel in this situation."

"I know," Ranma replied. "I'm sorry I put you in such a bad position. I should have known better than to do what I did."

Kunou closed his eyes; Ranma could see the strain behind them.

"Kunou, please speak to me. I... I don't want to lose our friendship, and it feels like you're shutting me out."

Kunou's Adam's apple fell and rose. "I am wondering what you're feeling, Ranma. Why you are so... empty."

She frowned. "Isn't it obvious?"

He chuckled bitterly. "Believe it or not, Ranma, I am not telepathic."

Ranma's eyes narrowed. She fought for a moment to find the right words. "Because I'm afraid of living the rest of my life alone."

"Alone?" Kunou's eyes bore into her.

"I can never fully love anyone, Kunou. I can't get intimate with anyone. I... I hang out with guys. They're my friends, but... I can't ever get close to one. I'm still attracted to girls, but... but I just can't get into a relationship with one. It just seems wrong to me, somehow." She stared at the koi playing in the pond. "You and Akane were the only ones I'd even think about... and now she's gone."

Her eyes turned to Kunou. He was staring at the pond, just as she had, except his gaze was more intense... more thoughtful. She watched his eyes follow the carp's dance, as one leapt from the water to the air above.

"Ranma, would you be willing to go on a date with me?"

She blinked; the question seemed conjured from the air. "Huh?"

His dark eyes pierced into her. "Would you be willing to go out on a date with me?"

Ranma looked at him as though he'd grown a second head. "Why? I just asked you out last night, and you said no!"

"I had to know why you asked me, Ranma. If you were just asking me as a way to escape from what Akane did to you, then I would never be able to accept. If, on the other hand, you asked because of me, and not because of her..." His gaze softened. "Ranma, believe it or not, you are not the only one who is deathly afraid of living the rest of his life alone. Most people, on hearing my surname, take a careful step back; for most, my family, proud though it is, remains nothing more than poison, no better than the outcasts." The young man looked down at his feet. "If you decline now that you are of sound mind, I will understand."

Ranma stared down at her wrists. She'd nearly died because she wasn't able to face her life. Was this... facing her new life? Part of her had been dreading trying this. Success was about as frightening as failure; both meant giving up on something.

But what if there wasn't anything to give up anymore? She looked up at him, determination forming in her gaze.

"Kunou... I would date with you. But please, give me two weeks to think about it. That way, if I... decide not to... then..."

"I understand, Ranma," Kunou replied. "Two weeks from Friday, then?"

Ranma bit her lip, then nodded. "Two weeks from Friday. Okay." She moved to leave, when an impulse came to mind. She turned around, to her still-meditating friend.

"Kunou... thanks."

His response was barely heard over the splashing water. "No, Ranma. Thank you."

*****************************************

"Hey, Akane. What do you think about this?" Ranma jiggled the translucent negligee in her hands. "Something for your honeymoon, perhaps?"

Akane turned beet red. A long time ago, that would have been a pounding offense. Fortunately, she was not without other forms of artillery. "Well, if you're so impressed by it... why don't you get it? I'm sure Kunou would be just thrilled if you wore it for him."

Ranma, to her surprise, looked at it thoughtfully for a moment, then put it on the rack. The young woman started to make her way toward the more mundane sections of the store.

"Ranma? Is something wrong?"

Ranma stared back at her. "How are the engagement plans coming?"

Akane rolled her eyes. "Let me put it to you this way, Ranma: I brought up the subject of him getting us 'lost' for a few years."

"Heh." Ranma smiled wryly. "Now *that* sounds familiar. I remember when we started planning for our ceremony. That was... a mess."

"Yes, it was." Akane's smile faded. She crossed her arms in frustration. "Now care to tell me what's *really* bothering you?"

Ranma blinked. "Huh?"

"Ranma, if I can't get away with it, neither can you. You've never been one for small talk, and that's all you've given me all day." She began to tap her foot. "Now. If you don't tell me what's bothering you in ten seconds, I start giving a martial arts demonstration to the other shoppers, using your head as a punching bag."

"Well..." Ranma bit her lip. "Kunou and I are going out on a date," she blurted.

Akane blinked. She wasn't sure she'd even heard it right, Ranma had said it so fast. She walked over to Ranma, and fixed a curious, uncomprehending gaze on her. "Let me get this straight. You... and Kunou... are going out on a date?"

"Yep." Ranma gave a sheepish shrug.

Akane blinked again. The emotions inside of her... even she didn't know what to make of them. She imagined that this must have been what Ranma felt after her recent announcement. "How?"

"Well..." Ranma looked around for a moment. "... that is difficult to explain. I got sorta drunk last night, and-"

"You got drunk?" Akane's eyes were wide open. "Why?"

Ranma looked down. "Well..."

"It was the engagement, wasn't it?" She fought back the emotions after Ranma's tentative nod.

Akane looked down at her shoes. "So you decided to go out with him because..."

To her surprise, Ranma laughed. "Not quite, Akane. I asked him out; he waited for me to fall asleep. I apologized to him, he asked me why I asked him out. I told him... then he... he asked me out."

A heartbeat of silence passed between them. "You mean... he asked you out? And you accepted?"

Ranma shrugged. "Yeah." She walked over to Akane. "Akane, I want to try this. While you and Ryouga were just dating, I always held back a bit, sorta hoping that we might be able to get together somehow. Then, when you told me last night..."

"... you decided to try a relationship with someone else." Akane nodded slowly. For some reason, there was a quiet hurting inside of her. She fought to find the questions she needed.

"Ranma, are you sure about this? I mean, this is a guy we're talking about here." She started looking through the outfits. "Moreover, it's Kunou."

"Which is why I'm going out with him, Akane," Ranma snapped back. She looked at a dress on the rack, then turned around. "He... he understands me. With most guys, I'd have to worry about them treating me like either some silly princess or like I'm the catch of the day." She shivered; apparently some memory came back to her. "Kunou knows where I'm coming from. He knows I'm not ready for a lot of stuff. And... he knows me. Better than you, Akane, at least on some things." She eyed the dark-haired girl mischievously. "You know, Akane, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous of him."

Akane immediately flustered. "Me? Jealous of... of Kunou? Don't make me laugh!" She knew she was blushing; she quickly moved to a rack away from Ranma's eyes.

Ranma blinked behind her, in recognition. "You... you ARE jealous of him!" The redhead giggled in triumph. "Oh, this is unbelievable!"

Akane sighed, and turned back around. There was no avoiding it; if truth be told, she was jealous. "Yeah, well... I dunno. I always thought... I never thought you would want to explore a relationship again someday. Even with Kunou." She waved a hand in the air. "It's naive and stupid of me, I know, but..."

Ranma snorted, then stared through her. Akane's breath caught; she knew that look from so many nights between them. "Akane, I... I know. I think deep inside, we're still waiting for some miracle cure to make things all better between us." Her smile faded. "Sometimes, though, that just doesn't happen."

Akane nodded sadly. Ranma twisted her face into a harlequin's smile, and took Akane by the hand.

"Now. I really need an outfit for this date. Any ideas?"

*****************************************

Kunou felt no small amount of trepidation as the doors opened for him. He had spent four months of his life locked up in here, and he couldn't help but feel he was being committed again every time he reentered the grounds. He walked through them, took a moment to remember some of the times here, and moved down the hallway.

This was a part of his family's curse, he knew. Any Kunou who hoped to live a productive life would have to grace these halls at some point. He was forced to recall that fact every morning, as he took his 'candy' as part of his breakfast. That knowledge, the curse of his clan, only became doubly problematic with recent events.

Did he even have the right to start a relationship? In a way, he was 'damaged goods'. Any offspring he might have carried the risk of the taint. Was he up to the responsibility of raising a child who could one day have all of the problems he did?

Any questions such as this melted away as he approached the door. He tried to wipe the apprehension from his face; he knew that it would come all too easily once he entered. He sighed, and turned the handle.

The dark-haired woman was no stranger to him - for the moment, anyway. "Hello, brother."

He smiled. "Hello, sister. How are you today?"

Kodachi shrugged. "Tired. The medications they gave me are rather potent, and my body isn't quite used to them." She studied the back of her hand for a moment.

"Brother?"

"Yes?"

"What happened to me? To us?" She banged a fist against the bed. "I'm twenty years old, and I haven't even graduated from high school. It's been over a year since I last saw the night air. I've missed so much; I even missed my coming of age this year. I'm so tired, I'm so angry... I feel too much, it seems." She shook her head in her impotence. "How is your life progressing?"

He smiled, a bit of advice that Kasumi had given him to calm someone. "Classes go well; I believe I will be allowed to become an assistant teacher during the next term. That will possibly take away some of my time at the dojo, but hopefully not much." He looked down and shuffled his feet, then chided himself for his weakness. "There have also been some developments in my personal life recently."

An eyebrow arched on his sister's face. "In your personal life? Do tell, brother dear."

He gouged a fingernail into the back of his wrist; the pain gave him enough focus to continue. "Ranma and I... have agreed to go on a date."

Dark eyes flashed back at him. "The fire-haired one has finally conceded to dating you? Why?"

Kunou let out a long sigh. "Akane recently announced her engagement to Ryouga, and... Ranma was down after hearing the news. We had a long talk, one thing led to another... and we decided to try it. We have a lot in common, she and I - both of us are broken, and neither of us are the person we truly wish to be." He tried to smile. "We decided to have the date in a couple of weeks, once our schedules settle down. That way we both have time to think about whether we really want it or not."

Kodachi closed her eyes. He knew the struggle that went on behind them; he fought it as well. "I... see. You will pardon me if I do not wish you success?"

"I... understand." Kunou was used to such words, though he had expected a far more violent reaction. "I appreciate your candor and your patience." He looked to the walls. "How is the therapy going?"

Kodachi bit her lip. "I... don't know. The doctors would make superb demons in the nether world; they prey on my every desire and weakness, and exploit it. They never tell me anything of use; all they say is for me to be patient and to wait until the results come." Her fists were balled; Kunou could see a trickle of blood forming between her fingers. "I want to get out of here so badly... I miss running through the night air. I miss... I miss my life."

Kunou moved closer to her, and put his hand over her fist. "I know, Kodachi. I spent time in here myself. I wanted out so badly I could taste it." He looked downward. "I was lucky, sister. That very redhaired woman you despise so helped me find myself again." He opened her hand; it was a small cut, enough that it would heal on its own. He brought out a handkerchief, and wiped the blood away. "Kodachi, I can't give you a reason to get out of here. But... I can help you build a life once you do. Ranma will help, too, if you let her."

Kodachi's voice turned cold. "It will be a long time before I can trust her, brother."

"And me?" He raised an eyebrow.

His sister ran a hand along her bed; a small amount of blood painted the pristine white sheets. "You... I have to trust you. I have to trust someone..."

Kunou blinked. "Okay." He swallowed. "That's a place to start."

*****************************************

Ranma stared at the outfits in front of her, a wave of uncertainty washing over her. The blue minidress she had initially bought for the date was too daring, now; she considered the night itself to be daring enough. The forest-green outfit was nice... but just a little too conservative for a date. She just blinked at the pink dress Kasumi offered; even after all this time, she still had a dislike for the color. After staring at the clothes for a moment, she turned around to her surrogate family, and eyed the youngest of her sisters.

"Akane, how in the world did you ever get ready for our dates?"

The comment only generated fits of laughter from the trio. Nabiki smiled, and sat down on the bed.

"Ranma, getting Akane ready for a date was a serious challenge. She'd always say, 'I don't like the color of this!' or 'This makes me look fat!'. Eventually, we'd just throw a dress on her, say she looked fine, and push her out into the living room." The comments generated giggles from Kasumi, and a blush from the youngest Tendo.

Ranma sighed, and lay down on the bed. "I... nothing looks right. Maybe because nothing is."

Kasumi sat down next to her. "Ranma, are you sure you want to do this? I mean... this is so sudden, after Akane's engagement and all."

Ranma moved her hand, to touch one of the dresses. "Yes. God help me, Kasumi, I do." She sat up on the bed. "I... there was always a small part of me that still hoped, still wanted to be with you, Akane. When... when you told me about the engagement, that part of me hurt - badly. But... it also forced me to look at another part of myself." She clenched her fist, grabbing a piece of skirt in her hands. "The... the part that wants to be with him."

There wasn't a sound in the room for a full minute after that. Even Ranma was silent; admitting it was more difficult than she'd imagined. Nabiki grabbed one of the outfits, and put it back on its hangar.

"Ranma, do you... love him? In... in that way?"

Ranma closed her eyes. It was like someone had sealed her mouth shut. She could feel the tears threatening to come. "I... I think so." She forced the words out; her lips felt numb as she spoke. "Yes. Yes, I do."

She blinked, and looked around her. She could see the silent communication between the three sisters, the conversation between them without a word. Kasumi wrapped her arms around her, giving her a motherly embrace.

"Well then, Ranma, we'll try our best to help you get what you want." Kasumi broke off the embrace, and looked Ranma in the eye. "Will you trust us?"

She took a hard look at each of them. Kasumi never deceived her about anything, not since... then. Nabiki was far less the mercenary she used to be, and was mischievous enough to be a good matchmaker. Akane... she could see it in her onetime fiancee's eyes: she wanted her to be happy, for her to have again what the two of them once had.

She opened her arms, and threw herself on the mercy of the family. "Okay. Go ahead."

*****************************************

"Well, I guess I'm ready."

Ranma stared at her reflection in the mirror, her eyes looking over every inch of her form. The white blouse dazzled in the light, catching her gaze, while her eyes seemed to fall away from the black skirt and hose. Kasumi's job with the makeup was flawless, being subdued enough to get her approval, and the silver jewelry (notably the bracelets) served as a nice compliment to the package. She picked up her purse and shoes and began to walk out of the door, when a hand stopped her.

"Not so fast, Ranma," Nabiki chimed. "You can't go down there quite yet."

"Why not?" Ranma whined. "He's probably down there and waiting by now."

Nabiki flashed her million-yen smile. "Ranma, you have to wait for a minute or two. Let him sit there for a moment, imagining what sort of evening the two of you will have. Then, when you actually come down, you'll take his breath away."

Ranma remembered some of the dates she'd had with Akane. Sure enough, they'd used that tactic several times on her. "Um... okay." She looked in the mirror again. "Are you sure he'll be that affected by this?"

"Look in the mirror," Kasumi offered.

Ranma turned to the looking-glass once more, and tried to see things from a different perspective. It wasn't difficult; all she had to do was dream. She imagined someone like her approaching her old self, with a come-hither look to their eyes... She shook her head, and fought down her blush.

"Get the idea?"

Ranma nodded. "Oh, yeah. I definitely get the picture." She started to wring her hands together.

"Ranma, are you all right?" Kasumi sat down.

"Yeah. It's just... I dunno about this anymore. I mean... I..."

The sisters sat there for a moment. Akane chimed in first. "Ranma, if you don't want to go on this date, you don't have to. But... you'll have to be the one to tell him."

Ranma shook her head. "No, it's not that... it's just that... I don't know anything about this!" She started to pace around the room, her eyes focused on Akane. "It was a lot easier back when we were a couple. I knew how the two of us felt about each other, and how far we were willing to go in the relationship. But now... now I don't know anything."

Akane walked over, and gave the nervous woman a hug. "Ranma, that's the point of dating. Go out with Kunou. Spend some time with him in a romantic setting. Find out if you want it or not. If not, tell him so." She broke off the embrace. "Ranma, we had it easy. Our fathers pushed us into the relationship, without any choice in the matter. As a result, we got to know whether we wanted it or not long before we ever really started acting like a couple." She looked downward for a moment, then kissed Ranma on the cheek. "Go. Have a good time with him. And, if it works out... I wish the two of you the best of luck. Lord knows you both deserve it."

Ranma backed away slowly. "O... Okay, Akane." She turned to Nabiki, and raised an eyebrow in her direction. "May I go now?"

Nabiki crossed her legs, then looked lazily at her watch. "He's been down there long enough, I think." She smiled with mischief, and grabbed Ranma's hand. "Have fun, Ranma."

Kasumi opened the door for her, and led her out into the hall. Ranma paused; it looked like there was something Kasumi wanted to say. She slowed her pace toward the stairs, and waited.

"Don't forget to smile," Kasumi whispered. "You look so nice when you smile."

Ranma couldn't help but obey at that comment. "Okay, Kasumi. You win." She took the first step downward.

"Were you this nervous with your first date with Tofu?"

Kasumi raised an eyebrow. "Yes... and no. The first time is always the most difficult, and I was most certainly nervous the first time we dated. On the other hand, I had been dreaming of a night like that for a long time." They were halfway down the steps; Ranma could see black dress socks waiting for her at the bottom. "Remember, Ranma: relax, and be yourself."

The smile widened. "If I did that, Kasumi, I'd be about a foot taller and built differently." She took the last steps down, until she could see all of him.

Kunou Tatewaki had always been a striking man; the suit just complimented matters. The severe black outfit framed his body nicely; the tie was subdued in color, while being abstract enough to suggest a complex mind behind the outfit.

He looked at her, and she could see the emotions pass across his face; shock, awe, desire... all culminating in a look of restrained happiness. "Ranma. You look... beautiful."

"Um... thanks, Kunou." She still wasn't comfortable with compliments; she did try as best she could, though. "You... you look good, Kunou. A lot better than the hakama you usually wear." She winced; that didn't come out quite like she'd hoped.

Kunou apparently saw the wince. "It's okay, Ranma. I understand." He held out the flowers in his hands. "For you."

Ranma blinked. She remembered the first time Kunou had offered her flowers. Like then, she was overwhelmed, but in a different way. "Thank you." She sniffed them once, taking in their heady aroma. "Kasumi, could you put these somewhere?"

Kasumi's smile widened. "Sure, Ranma." She went off to find a vase, leaving the two of them alone.

For a moment, all Ranma could hear was her own heartbeat. She didn't know if it was fear or anticipation she was feeling; all she knew was that she was in a situation totally unfamiliar to her, and she didn't know what to do.

"Shall we go?" Kunou offered his hand to her, as a proper gentleman would.

Ranma swallowed, and took the hand. "Sure, Kunou." Taking a moment to slip on her shoes, she closed her eyes, and let him lead her out the door.

*****************************************

In the Tendo home, a strange happiness reigned.

It wasn't something that could really be defined, Akane thought. She was helping Kasumi and Mrs. Saotome clean up in the kitchen after making a passable batch of cookies, something she'd fought for so long to perfect. In the dining area, her father and Mr. Saotome waged peaceful war on the shogi board, as Tofu and Ryouga watched on in interest. Even Nabiki, vagabond college student she was, had come home for the festivities, and was probably hanging around somewhere in the backyard. There were no arguments, no accusations, no hurt feelings, just friends and family gathered together to enjoy the night.

She just hoped that it would last.

So many hopes were riding on this night. Ranma was finally getting on with her life, after tragedies that would have killed lesser people - and had nearly killed her. In the night, the Saotomes saw a chance for happiness for their daughter, and the possible continuation of their school and way of life. Her family saw the hopes of honor regained, a banner soiled after the end of their promised engagement.

Akane herself, on the other hand, saw something far more important.

She saw forgiveness.

There were still nights when she saw Ranma's bloodied body in the furo, sightless eyes quietly accusing her. She'd nearly destroyed her relationship with Ryouga in the process; after what had happened, it was too much for her to hope that she could know contentment again. It had taken a lot of patience on his part to deal with her demons, and for her to finally come to terms with her guilt and responsibilities.

Her eyes turned away to the games of men, and she couldn't help but smile. Father and Mr. Saotome were definitely practitioners of 'anything goes', right down to their shogi strategy. Both could cheat with remarkable skill; they both knew what was going on, and merely smiled when some fortune mysteriously turned into misfortune. She could see the joy in their eyes; the hurt feelings between them had lasted for too long, and letting go of them was a relief to everyone around.

"Akane?"

The whispered voice startled her. She turned around, to face Nodoka's smiling face. "Yes?"

"How are you doing? You've been silent the whole night." She gestured over to the center table, where Kasumi was preparing four cups of tea.

She looked downward. "Sorry, Auntie. It's just... tonight seems so strange. It's like nothing has changed - and yet, everything has."

The matriarch nodded sagely. "I know. Genma has been so lonely since he and Soun had their fight. It's been difficult - usually he's been sitting around the house, too drunk to do anything. It's... it's nice to see him smiling for a change." Nodoka smiled, a move that reminded Akane so much of Ranma. "But that wasn't what I was asking about."

Akane blinked. "Then what were you-" She covered her left hand. "Oh."

"It's okay, Akane. I understand." She smiled. "I was young once, too. I remember the times when Genma and I were dating; it was... an experience." Akane blinked; the smile faltered for a moment. "Congratulations, Akane. I'm glad you found someone to share your life with."

Akane just stood there when Nodoka moved to hug her; she knew how much the engagement hurt the older woman. It took a moment for her to wrap her arms across Nodoka's back.

A whisper broke the spell, a quiet hiss to the two of them.

"She's back." Nabiki's head poked inside the kitchen. "Come on." Akane broke off the embrace. She noticed she was crying; so was Nodoka. The matriarch wiped the tears from her eyes, and straightened her kimono.

"Come. Shall we see how my daughter fared tonight?"

Akane smiled. This was going to be interesting, to say the least.

*****************************************

Ranma never thought the sidewalk could look so long.

She stared at the walkway leading to her home, wondering what would happen in the steps between. She'd spent many a night ending a date on these steps, and she knew quite well what could - or should - happen. Everything that had happened tonight was simple preamble to what those steps would bring. She looked downward at her outfit, and smoothed out her skirt for the third time in as many minutes.

"I had a lovely time, Kunou." She squeezed the hand she held. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Ranma almost giggled; Kunou was even more nervous than she was. "I... enjoyed the time we spent together."

She thought furiously for a moment. She wasn't ready - not yet.

"When is the next visiting day? I... I'd like to see her, if I could."

Kunou shook his head. "A week from tomorrow, if I recall correctly. However, considering your... adversarial relationship in the past, I think you may need to clear your visit with the doctor before coming."

"Oh." Ranma stopped for a moment, and closed her eyes. She needed to steel herself for this; if she didn't, then she might end up doing something they'd both regret. She moved around to face Kunou, her head slowly moving upwards.

"Kunou..."

"Yes?" he croaked.

Ranma didn't respond. Instead, she slipped her other arm around his waist. She tried to pull him closer... then realized what she was doing. She shifted her hands upward, to wrap her arms around his neck. Her eyelids suddenly became heavy as her lips approached his.

The first touch was soft, tentative; neither one was sure how far they wanted to go. They broke off for a moment, then melted into a second, more natural one.

Ranma mentally sighed as she melted into the kiss. She'd been aggressive at first, wanting to go this far... now that she was here, she didn't want to leave. It didn't feel like it was before, not with Akane. Then he'd been hungry, wanting more, wanting to know more. Here, it was different.

Here, she was safe; here, she was content. She pressed closer to Kunou, to get closer to him, to *share* more with -

In an instant, she backed away. She was shaking; she... she felt... She turned away from him, desperate to find her bearings.

"Ranma? Are you..." His words died away. "I'm sorry, Ranma. I shouldn't have..."

She turned back to him. He looked like a puppy dog, his eyes mournful and sad. She managed a laugh; the irony was too much. "I... I'm sorry, Kunou. It's not your fault. I was just taken surprise by... something, is all."

"What?" Kunou stared blankly at her for a moment, before eyes widened in realization. He casually tried to hold his hands over his groin. "Sorry."

She walked forward, and lay her head against his shoulder. "No, it's... it's my fault. This is all so... so new to me." She closed her eyes, wishing that body and soul could match for once.

The feeling of protection washed over her again as Kunou held her. He brought her in close in a one-handed embrace, her body carefully to his side. She heard Kunou's words of consolation, words she'd heard before...

Enough.

Ranma steeled herself once more. She was *not* going to lose him, not like she did Akane! Mustering what courage she could, she raised her head, and moved closer to his center.

"Kunou?" she whispered again.

He looked at her, and she him. She could see the changes in his gaze; under her stare, he was like prey staring into the predator's eyes. She moved closer to him, close enough that she could feel his arousal, and moved her hands to his face.

"I'm ready now."

She kissed him again. This time she wasn't submitting, nor was she taking charge; this was a kiss of equals. They moved together in an unpredictable dance, each of them feeling what the other was and acting accordingly.

And God, did it feel good. Ranma found herself being absorbed into the moment, much like she was absorbed into her fights so long ago. She could feel every part of him, and knew that he could feel every part of her. In a sense, she was more exposed than she'd ever been before - and loving every minute.

After what seemed an eternity, they broke off the kiss. She took a deep breath, and sighed. She couldn't get her eyes off of his; their connection was stronger, more profound... and it wasn't going away. Coughing once, she found enough voice to speak.

"I... I enjoyed that, Kunou."

Kunou blinked out of his trance. "So... So did I, Ranma." He smoothed out his slacks. "I... do you mind if we go out for coffee tomorrow?"

She smiled, and nodded. Tears were forming in her eyes, tears formed from simple relief. "O... Okay. After your morning class?"

Kunou nodded, then gave one more kiss, a gentle one on the cheek. "Let me shower first."

She laughed, remembering how he usually smelled after classes. "Okay, Kunou. After that, then." She nearly tripped in her shoes as she walked back to the door. It took a moment for her to exit the world of night.

She blinked upon entering the house. Nobody was waiting for her; somehow she expected everyone to be there with baited breath once she got home. She chided herself for her arrogance, took off her shoes, and padded into the main living area.

This time, she had even more reason to blink. Only the men were in the room; Pop and Mr. Tendo tested each other in Shogi, while Ryouga and Tofu watched. The men all turned around at her presence, giving her father a chance to shuffle the pieces around. Tofu was the first to recover.

"So, Ranma. How did the date go?"

She looked downward. She *really* didn't feel like telling them everything. It... felt wrong now, for some reason. "O... Okay, I guess. We're going out tomorrow for coffee, so..."

Tendo Soun nodded approvingly. "Well, that's a good sign."

Her father swallowed. "Did... anything happen on the date?"

She looked at him questioningly. "What do you mean, Pop?"

Saotome Genma just looked at her. "You know very well what I mean, Ranma."

She looked downward. She couldn't lie; it just wasn't programmed into her. "Well... we kissed, but that's about all." Seeing the stupefied faces of the men, Ranma glanced down at herself, and sighed. "I hope you don't mind, but I'd *really* like to get out of these clothes."

"N... N... No problem, Ranma. Go... go right ahead." Mr. Tendo waved her off. Ranma smiled at their reactions; it was funny to see all of them react like that. She nodded to them as she left, and slowly made her way up the stairs.

The redhead stopped halfway up, and tried to catch her bearings. She was... she still wanted to feel what she felt outside, the warmth, the *sharing*...

She wanted her life back, and this was the best way to go. Touching her hands to her lips, she straightened up, and made her way to her room.

"About time you got up here."

She looked around. The women of the house had all set up camp in her room, each one eyeing her with something between mischief and respect.

"What are you all doing in here?"

Nabiki straightened up from her position in the corner. "Watching the show. Gotta admit, you had us pretty steamed up with your little performance out there."

Ranma's face turned beet red. "You were watching?"

Her mother waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it, Ranma. It was... it was beautiful what you did tonight." She moved over to Ranma's bed, and sat down. "Now... now we thought you might want to join in a tradition that's been in the Tendo family for a long time."

Ranma blinked. "What?"

"Oh... after each date, us girls would get together and talk about it. After all, how else were we going to get the juicy details?" Kasumi smiled from her chair.

Ranma looked at them. "Guys... er, girls... I dunno. I mean... I'm still not sure what to think about all this. I'm tired, I've got a run in my hose, and I've got a long day tomorrow to think about." She bit her lip. "Tomorrow night, maybe? I could sure use the time to relax then."

Nodoka smiled. "Tell you what: Why don't we go out someplace tomorrow? We could go shopping, find a nice place to eat and talk... It'll be perfect!"

Ranma sighed, and shooed an imaginary fly away. "Fine. Now please... it's late, and I do have to be up early tomorrow."

"Okay, Ranma..." The women began to file out of the room. Akane stopped just before leaving, and grabbed Ranma's hand.

"Was it good?"

Ranma looked into her eyes. He couldn't deny her the answer. "Yeah, Akane. It was."

Akane squeezed her hand, and kissed her on the cheek. "Good. You... you deserve to be happy, Ranma." She walked out of the door, leaving Ranma alone once more.

In an instant, clothes were strewn across the room. While she didn't mind some skirts and dresses, she _hated_ tight clothing, and the skirt and pantyhose certainly qualified. In seconds, she lay on the bed, her outer clothes decorating the floor, her mind replaying every moment of the night.

*****************************************

Ranma stood in the middle of the center of her life: the dojo. The place was empty, for once; the students had all gone, and the other teachers were not around. The clack of high-heeled shoes echoed through the building as she walked, creating an eerie feel to the shadowed room. Her hands were clasped together in front of her; she could feel the sharp edges of a diamond ring on her left hand.

Her eyes turned to the entrance, to where the picture of the four of them hung. It had been taken the day they opened for business; all of them were resplendent in freshly-washed gis or (in Kunou's case) hakamas. It was a good day for all of them; they'd all created something to take pride in... to know that somehow, some way, they would live on in the skills of their students. She didn't want to be like her father, who constantly took away from the world; she wanted to give something to it, to make up for both their mistakes. That was why she taught... and that was why she loved Kunou. She didn't have to worry about taking; with both relationships, what was given was freely given, and it was more than enough for her.

As she stared at the photo, though, she frowned. Something was off with the picture; she herself looked a little... blurred. As she blinked her eyes, the picture changed, as the redhead in the picture vanished... and was replaced by a dark-haired man with a pigtail.

Reflexively, she looked down... and nearly cried for joy. He was back; he didn't care how, he didn't care why, he was back. His old Chinese shirt and pants felt heavenly on him as he moved; he loved the feeling of _not_ feeling every motion along his chest.

"Hey, Ranma."

Ranma froze at the voice. He turned around to find Akane at the entrance, her arm around Ryouga's waist. Struggling to find his voice, he tried to bring words to come.

"Akane... I... I'm..."

"Ranma, Ryouga and I are going to be out for awhile." A mischievous look passed between the two; it didn't take a genius to figure out what they had planned. "Could you look after the dojo while we're gone?"

Ranma nodded. "Um... sure." He looked back down; some things could not be changed. Sighing, he began to perform a kata, something to clear his head.

"Saotome..."

He froze. Kunou stood in the doorway. The kendoist held his practice sword at the ready, as though preparing for duel. He could feel the longing inside of him, the yearning to be with him... he could even still feel the ring on his finger, reminding him of the love between them.

"Ku... Kunou. What... How are things?"

Dark eyes flashed menacingly at him. "Where is the redheaded goddess?"

He looked around. A fire bucket was posted along the side wall; he quickly moved, and poured it over his head.

Nothing happened.

Kunou, as expected, was not impressed. "Where is the redheaded goddess?"

Ranma waved his arms up in the air. "I... Kunou, I don't know what's happened, but I am... I am your redheaded goddess! You have to believe me!"

The former Blue Thunder raised his bokken to the sky. "For enslaving, then destroying the pigtailed goddess, you shall die."

Ranma could not attack him; hurting Kunou was worse than hurting himself. All he could do was dodge. Kunou, though, fought like a man possessed; his strikes were far too fast for Ranma to evade. He screamed when he felt the wood hit his chest, and pierce through to his heart...

The scream continued into the real world, as Ranma sat up like a shot. She covered her face with her hands, trying hard not to throw up. It had felt so real... too real for her liking.

Sighing, she twisted to the side, and moved into a sitting position. The dream... it felt almost violating. It had taken everything that was ever or would ever be important to her, and treated it like garbage. She had dreamed some horrible things before, especially after the last attempt at a cure, but this... this took the cake.

A gentle knock sounded at her door, soon followed by a soft voice.

"Ranma?" Akane whispered, "Are you okay?"

Ranma shrugged. There was no getting out of it. "Come on in, Akane."

The door opened, letting her former fiancee in. Akane's silhouette padded into the room, and stood in front of the door. "What's wrong, Ranma?"

Ranma shook her head. "Just a nightmare, is all."

Even in the darkness, Ranma could see the look Akane was giving her. "Uh-uh, Ranma. I know you too well. You don't have nightmares like that unless something is really bothering you." Akane crossed her arms. "Now what's bothering you?"

The redhead looked around the room. She really didn't feel like talking, not in this setting. "Akane, I really -"

"I've got an idea." Akane's eyes shone against the pale light from the window. She reached out, and grabbed Ranma's hand. "Come on."

The young woman shrugged; she really didn't want to go back to sleep, and Akane made leaving the room sound tempting. She returned the grip, and followed Akane down to the dining room.

Akane put a finger to her lips. "Stay here. I need to get something from the kitchen." She walked away, leaving Ranma slightly bewildered.

A moment later, Akane returned, carrying pie and some plates. "Your mom made some of these for when you got back. She figured that we'd talk about the date, then have some of this afterwards."

Ranma smiled. "Yeah... that sounds like Mom, all right." She took a slice of the pie.

"So... do you want to tell me what your nightmare was about?"

Ranma took a hearty bite of apple pie. "Well... I dreamed that I got my old body back."

Akane blinked. "This was a nightmare, right?"

"Yes, it was a nightmare." Ranma flashed her a dark look. "It was a nightmare... because the people I loved either left me or attacked me."

A surprised look flashed across Akane's face. "Why?"

"Well... you left with Ryouga, and Kunou accused me of taking away his 'redheaded goddess'." She ran her fingers through her hair. "Thank goodness for psychiatric medications."

"Are you sure _you_ don't need them right now?" Akane smiled. "I mean, that was a pretty wild dream..."

Ranma took another bite of pie. "I... I think I know what it means. I... I've always carried a part of my old self with me, a small, comfortable area that nobody could touch. I... I let that place go a bit tonight, once Kunou and I were together. I think... if I am to pursue that relationship, that I'll have to let that place go entirely."

Akane just shook her head. "You don't get it, do you?"

"Don't get what?"

The dark-haired girl took a bite of her pie, and started to gesture with her fork. "Ranma, it's telling you that you're going to have to let it go anyway. You love Kunou; that much is obvious from what I saw tonight. And... over time... you're going to let that part of you go, in exchange for a part of him inside of you."

Ranma just stared at her. "Akane, we loved each other once. Look how it ended for us."

Akane winced. "Well... the man I loved died. Someone took his place, someone who couldn't bring herself to love anyone - not for a long time."

This time, it was Ranma's turn to wince. "I... I know." She absently picked at her pie. "I couldn't live with myself then. I didn't know how."

"And now you do." Akane grabbed Ranma's hand. "You two have a wonderful chance together - but only if you take it now and give it all you have." The young woman looked down at her half-eaten dish. "I don't want you to push him away like you did me. You deserve better than to live alone, Ranma."

"What are you guys doing down here?" Nabiki shuffled out into the dining room, startling them. "Don't you know how late it is?"

The two women giggled at Nabiki's intrusion. "Well... Ranma had a nightmare, so we decided to have a talk."

Nabiki glanced down at the pie. "You're eating my pie? I was planning on taking that back with me!"

Akane shrugged. "You want a piece?"

The older sister shrugged. "I might as well, since it seems to be the only way I'll get any." She sat down at the head of the table, turning a gathering of two into a discussion of three.

*****************************************

The coffeeshop was typical of what would normally be found across the street from a college campus. A small cover charge was required to get into the door; beyond that, the offerings inside fulfilled the basic requirements of any college edible: cheap and passable. Tables and chairs were eclectic, as though someone had waded through garage sales to furnish the place. It felt other than home, but it still felt cozy.

Which was perhaps why Kunou liked it so much.

He grimaced slightly as he sipped his brew. The coffee was always particularly strong here, almost enough to fall under the 'espresso' classification. The students loved it, of course; it kept them from nodding off after rough nights. To be honest, he preferred its strong, bitter taste over the comparatively weaker brews the other coffee houses served.

All thoughts of coffee vanished, though, when she walked in the place. There had been a lot said and a lot done last night... but he didn't know how she would react to it in the long run. He could tell from her gaze that something was bothering her.

"Ranma?" His voice was about as close to a whisper as he could get in the place. She smiled weakly, and sat down.

"Kunou... I think we need to talk."

A cold feeling settled in his stomach; he had an idea as to what she was about to say. "What about?"

She looked downward, seeming to study the backs of her hands. "Kunou, would you still love me if I changed back?"

A strange chill went up his spine. "You mean... you've found a cure?"

She chuckled - a sound that sent some relief into him. "No, Kunou. I'm still stuck this way - at least, I was last time I took a bath. But... what if I become a guy again? What then?"

Kunou scratched his head. "Well, it would certainly take some getting used to. But... Ranma, I love you. I would love you even if you changed back into a man; that's what love is. I can adjust, in time."

Ranma snorted. "In time. I thought I had all the time in the world with Akane. I... I don't want to lose you the same way I did her." Her grin faded. "Kunou, I want to make sure you know what you're getting into."

She looked up at him, their faces inches apart. "Kunou, there are times when I am absolutely sick of wearing some of the crap girls wear. Sometimes, I may want to go out wearing just a shirt and pants. I... to be honest, I don't like dressing up, not unless I have to." She sighed. "Are you prepared to deal with something like that?"

He raised an eyebrow; truth to tell, he almost felt like laughing at the statement. "Ranma, for the first year that I chased you, how often did you 'dress up'?"

She sighed. "Point made." She looked over at his half-drank cup of coffee. "Kunou, there's one other thing."

He raised an eyebrow, and took a sip of his coffee. He had a feeling he knew what she was going to say, but he held his tongue.

"Kunou, I... I don't know what you think of such things, but I will not be anything like a traditional Japanese girl. I plan on running the dojo with Akane and Ryouga for a long time to come. I don't plan on staying at home and being some... housewife." Shivers ran up his spine as she brushed his cheek. "Kunou, I don't know what I want from this relationship. I'm not ready for anything serious yet; heck, that kiss was about as serious as I could get. What I want is someone with whom I can share myself, without having to worry about what the other person thinks of me. I do enough of that myself, thanks." He watched the movements of her throat as she swallowed. "Kunou, are you still willing to accept me, even after all that?"

He frowned. "Ranma, when I was growing up, I lived in a very strict, proper home. My father was a respected teacher in the area; my mother was the perfect role model for a housewife. My sister and I were raised in that tradition, no matter how grueling it was at times."

Kunou forced a sip of coffee down his throat. "But it was without love. Father was obsessed, and ignored all of us; Mother sank into depression, oftentimes venting out her frustrations on Kodachi and myself. Eventually..." He closed his eyes. "Eventually, she ended her own life, by slitting her throat."

He watched as Ranma rubbed her wrists. He knew how much it hurt her, how weak she felt herself at giving up like that. "Ranma... I will never let that happen to you. The reason why I take those pills every morning is so that I _don't_ do to you what my father did to her."

His gaze turned as intense as he possibly could; one of the disadvantages of his medication was that he lost much of his intensity. "Now, are you prepared to get involved with a family that has a history of instability? A family where my sister must restrain herself to keep from attacking you? Where my father may try to convince you to hula at any time?"

She smiled wryly. "Only if I get a chance to force-feed your pills if you forget." His hand tingled as her hands wrapped around his.

"Kunou... I want to try this. I... I do care for you. In fact, apart from Akane, you're probably the only human being on the planet I could allow myself to live with." She turned away. "I... I don't find it easy to talk to others. There's so much that I can't talk to them about... but I can talk to you about."

The young man tried to find his voice. "I... I know, Ranma." He pulled her in closer, to bring her into a casual embrace. "This isn't going to be easy on either of us. But... we've been through tougher things than this." He tried to find something funny to say. "Like Akane's cooking."

"Yeah..." The two didn't say another word for the next hour; their hands holding each other spoke for them.

*****************************************

"Okay, Ranma." Akane's left eyebrow arched mischievously. "We want details. Now."

The redhead looked down at her half-eaten plate of spaghetti, and wished she could hide herself behind one of the meatballs. She'd been trying to put this off; after all, she still wasn't sure about what was happening to her. Unfortunately, the foursome around her didn't quite see it that way. Giving a sigh in mock exasperation, she put down her fork, and looked at each of them.

"Well... we started off by going to dinner. It wasn't some fancy place like I expected; it was just the Rising Sun Cafe near campus."

Seeing the nods from the other women, she continued. "It was pretty good. We ate sushi and talked about school and the dojo... it was nice."

The women looked at each other for a moment, questions flying silently between them. Nodoka coughed, and gave a stern gaze to her daughter. "Please continue."

Ranma took a quick bite of her food. "Well, after that, we went out to a movie."

"Which one?" Nabiki asked.

Ranma shrugged. "Mononoke Hime."

Eyebrows raised across the table. "What did you think of it?" Akane asked. "Or were you two too busy to watch the movie?"

"And you call me a pervert." Ranma shook her head, and took another drink. "Nothing happened during the movie, though I was sorta depressed by it."

"Any particular reason why?"

The look she flashed them discouraged further comment. "I'd rather not talk about it."

A quiet nod went among the Tendo sisters. Nodoka, on the other hand, remained puzzled. "What?"

"We'll tell you later," Nabiki replied. The middle sister looked at Ranma warily. "What happened then?"

Ranma cleared her throat. Her eyes started to mist over. "Well, we walked through the park... looked around... talked a lot... and he took me home."

"And how did *that* feel?" Kasumi asked.

She bit her lip. "It was scary at first. I mean... there was still a lot of the old me inside that didn't want to give up, that I shouldn't have even gone on this date. I had to struggle just to stand still, long enough for him to kiss me. Then, once things started... progressing... all of that didn't matter anymore." Her fingertips lightly moved along the straw. "It felt... God, it felt good to just let go."

None of them spoke for a minute. The din of the restaurant was the silent background for them. Finally, Akane moved over, and put her hand over Ranma's wrist.

"Ranma... now you know how I felt when I ended the engagement. I had been hurting all over... but when I finally let go of the feelings that were hurting me, it felt..." She pursed her lips together, trying to find the right words, "... like being reborn."

To her credit, Ranma nodded. The shimmer of tears accumulated in her eyes. "I... I know. It hurts like anything to let go... but it lets go of a lot of hurt, too." The first tear finally came down from Ranma's face; she vainly tried to wipe it away.

"So. What happens now, daughter?" Nodoka rubbed a fingertip along the edge of her cup.

Ranma rubbed her hands against her wrists. "Well... Kunou and I talked about it this afternoon. I asked a lot of him; there's so much we're both still afraid of. But... we've decided to give it a try, starting with another date this Friday."

A chorus of approvals came from the women, causing the patrons of the restaurant to stare at the group. They quickly quieted down, and showed their support for the redhead in quieter ways.

"Welcome to the club, Ranma." Akane smiled, and wrapped her arms around her onetime fiancee.

"Club?"

"Oh, it's just us girls," Kasumi chided. "We can call you a girl now, right?"

The tone of Kasumi's voice made Ranma giggle. "Yeah, you guys can." She held a fist in front of her, a grin plastered to her face. "But I'll beat Ryouga senseless if he even thinks about it."

Laughter pealed from the women, again attracting the attention of nearby patrons. This time, though, they were too happy to care.

*****************************************

The morning sun woke her from her slumber; it was still a few minutes before the alarm clock would wake her, but she was looking forward to the day. She stretched her legs, reached into her closet for her gi, and quickly dressed for the day. Her hands paused before the bracers; she stuffed them inside of her gi, and made her way downstairs.

It had been too long, she decided. That she had actually ignored the beauty of the morning in her drive to get ahead in school was a mistake, one she planned on correcting at the first opportunity. The caress of the night-cooled air, the call of the morning birds anxious to begin the day... she knew better than to leave her home, her anchor. She took an open place in the grass near the pond, and moved into position.

Anyone who ever truly mastered a kata knew the magic that the moves held, once they ceased to be a conscious effort and became instinctive. Depending on the soul of the dancer, it could speak a song of triumph or despair, passion or anger. It had been the gauge of her readiness to return when she had been in the hospital, and it was her typical gauge when she faced any sort of crossroads. With a punch, she began the moves, her eyes closed, her wind the only guide.

Even she couldn't describe the effect of the moves on her. It was musical; she was in harmony with the world around her, and it felt good. She wound her way through the kata and began again, forming a cycle, each one slightly faster as she descended into the moves of the dance, the symphony of the world around her the tune to guide her.

After awhile (did time matter here?), she felt something like violins entering her symphony, a strange undercurrent of quick, staccato chops in time with her passions. The violins increased in sound, as though one soloist had blossomed into a quartet, then an entire section of strings.

It wasn't until one of the 'violins' shouted out for their sensei that she realized it was time for her class. She moved from the kata to a finishing pose, opened her eyes, and smiled, part in happiness, part in embarrassment.

Her class stood waiting at the doorway of the dojo, all of them watching her performance. Self-consciously, she smiled; it had been a long time since she'd lost herself like that.

She really should lose herself more often, she thought. She bowed to the class and tried to make as serious a countenance as she could.

Too bad she couldn't wipe the smile off of her face.

**********************

Hiroshi plopped down in front of the table, and angrily stuffed a rice cake into his mouth. The taste was good; unfortunately, he was too angry to enjoy it. His mother was late again; she always ran late whenever his sister went to dance class. Why in the world Akkie-chan needed to take some stupid dancing lessons was beyond him...

Sighing, he calmed down enough to enjoy the cake. They really were quite good, almost as good as Mom's. He looked down at his backpack, and pulled out his Walkman. He almost had the headphones on when something far more musical echoed in his ears.

"Hey, Hiroshi." Sensei sat down next to him. He frowned; Sensei had been acting weird lately. She wasn't wearing her armbands anymore, she was smiling a lot... she was almost acting like a... a girl. He hoped that she would come back to her senses soon.

"Hi, Sensei," he said warily.

Sensei picked up one of the rice cakes, and held it up. "Do you like them? Akane and I made them together." She took a hearty bite out of it, making Hiroshi feel a little better about her.

"Yeah." He bit into his own - far more carefully, this time. "Um... Sensei?"

"Yeah?" She smiled at him.

He bit his lip sheepishly. "Why aren't you wearing your bracers?"

Sensei nodded thoughtfully at the question. "I got tired of being ashamed of who I am - or, for that matter, who I was." She poked herself in the breastbone. "For better or worse, this is who I am. And... it's about time I enjoyed it."

Hiroshi smiled. That sounded like Sensei - right down to the weird mix of speech. "Is that why you've been so happy lately?"

Sensei's reaction confused him; she laughed as though he'd told some joke. "That's part of it, Hiroshi. It's just... right now things have never been so good for me." Her smile faded, as she tried (unsuccessfully) to form a scowl. "And how have your classes been?"

This time, it was his turn to smile. "Passed math, with flying colors."

"Good." She reached into her gi, and pulled out her bracers. "A reward."

Hiroshi looked with awe at the bracers. They were of remarkable craftsmanship, black leather cared for as though the owner's life depended on it. He tried to put them around his wrists; they nearly came to his elbows, they were so large on him.

"Here, let me." Sensei adjusted the fit of the bracers, so that they were more comfortable. She finished her work, inched back from him, and smiled. "There. You look just like I did when I was your age."

This caused Hiroshi to blink. "You did? But... you were a girl! Weren't you into dolls and looking pretty and stuff?"

He didn't understand when Sensei began to chuckle.

*****************************************

Author's notes:

One other person to thank on this: Doug Reeves. We were roommates by the time "Destination Unknown" and "China Roses" came out, and it was good to bounce ideas off of another writer while working on the later parts of this.

Original version: December 19, 1998

Sent to fanfiction dot net: March 26, 2009


	4. China Roses

I'm dying.

I wasn't expecting that.

Another sign of my arrogance, I guess - something that this earth takes delight in belittling. Life gave me wisdom, wisdom gave me life, both gave me arrogance, fate smashed my arrogance. I've lived a long time, long enough to get a heaping teaspoon of all of it.

My stomach burns, but I ignore it. It's been two days since I last tried to eat something; I barely kept the pudding down, then. I doubt I could keep anything down now. My body is beyond repair; time has cast its wicked spell on me for over a century, and it has finally gotten past my defenses.

My last lead turned dry two weeks ago; it was a longshot, but longshots were all I had left. There is literally no reason for me to stay on this plane of existence; there hasn't been for the past five years. My usefulness ended then, as did any hope that I could find peace in this or the next life. All I've been doing since then is grasping at straws, trying to find _something_ which could undo what I've done, the damage I've caused.

My heirs must despise me now. I trained them, focused their minds, prepared them for their futures... then destroyed those futures in one foolish act. No doubt my name is a black mark on my home. Oh, how they must hate the thought of my continued existence - indeed, I hate with them. I deserve every ounce of their hatred.

There isn't much left for me to do. I must go... to make amends to my greatest heir, the one I ripped asunder in my greed. She deserves that much; she deserves to know why I did it, how it happened that night.

That is why I have returned after so long. I will die in this land, but I will not die before telling Ranma the truth.

This I swear, with what little life I have left in me.

*********************************************

China Roses

A Ranma 1/2 work of anime fanfiction; the fourth story in the Iris Tales.

All Ranma 1/2 characters created by Rumiko Takahashi. I make no claim to them.

*********************************************

Weddings were absolutely ridiculous, Ranma thought quietly to herself. There was so much that had to be done before the actual ceremony: invitations, flowers, catering, cake, site, tuxedoes, dresses, showers... presumably, if the bride and groom could get through the hell of preparation, then there was nothing in the marriage that could tear them apart. It certainly felt that way during the preparations for her and Akane's wedding, and it was most definitely that way for Akane and Ryouga's.

Smiling privately, she crossed her arms and legs and watched the show in front of her. Kasumi and Nabiki were trying on possible bridesmaid's dresses. Both were not happy with Akane's first choice; Kasumi didn't like hot pink, and Nabiki just didn't like pink. The second one was equally comical, and had both women holding a hand over their exposed cleavages. Akane started looking through the designs available, an angry gleam to her eye. Ranma knew she had to be stopped - for fashion's sake, at least.

"Akane, may I make a recommendation?" Ranma asked, almost as a whisper.

"What?" Akane growled.

Ranma looked out the window, to confirm where she was. "Kasumi, Nabiki, look through the outfits. If you find one that both of you agree on, hold onto it. Akane, come with me." She grabbed the bride-to-be with a rough grip, and dragged her out of the boutique.

"Ranma!" Akane whined. "What's the matter with you?"

She smiled. "You want some ice cream? My treat."

Akane looked at her as though she'd grown a second head. "Ice cream? I'm worried about my wedding, and all you can think about is food?"

Ranma gave Akane an even stare. "No, Akane. What I am thinking about is my closest friend stressing herself out over something which will go well regardless of what the dresses are like." She gestured to the ice cream parlor. "Now, are you going to have some ice cream, or do I have to drag you in by the hair?"

Akane grumbled. "You know, I think I liked you better when you just called me uncute."

The redhead couldn't help but smile. "Well, you're that too, but we'll not go into that."

"Baka." Akane playfully slugged Ranma in the shoulder, and followed her into the parlor. They walked up to a booth, and waited for a waitress to come by.

Akane was holding her forehead. "I'm sorry, Ranma. It's just that I want everything to go perfect for this wedding."

"I know." Ranma looked over the various parfaits offered. "Unfortunately, there's only so much you can do. Heck, look at what happened with our wedding. We had everything planned perfectly... and it still didn't go off." She pointed to a peanut-butter confection on the menu. "Does this look good, Akane?"

"Uh-huh," Akane droned. Ranma looked over, and stared at her. She seemed to be lost in her own world.

"Akane? Are you okay?"

Akane snapped out of her trance. "Huh? Uh... sure, Ranma. I was just thinking about something."

Ranma folded her arms. "What?"

"Well... I was just thinking about what it was like then. God, we were so innocent. We thought that, after everything that had happened, that..." Akane trailed off. "Sorry."

"Akane..." Ranma sighed. "Will you get off of the guilt trip? We've both beaten ourselves up enough over it."

Akane looked downward for a moment. "Sorry, Ranma. It's just that I don't know what you're feeling through all of this. I thought this would be hard on you, but..."

Ranma smiled - a hard smile, with none of the cockiness or mischief that was her wont. "It's okay about ninety percent of the time. Then, we're good friends, sisters... then, I'm happy for you. The other ten percent... I see you as my ex-fiancee, the woman whose life I saved time and again, the woman to whom I gave my heart... and lost it."

Akane was nearly in tears. "Ranma, I-"

"Don't say it." Ranma held her fingertips over Akane's lips. "We've all been so sorry over it that I'm tired of being sorry." The mischievous smile returned. "Besides, it's not like I'm lonely anymore."

An eyebrow arched on Akane's forehead. "How are you and Kunou doing, anyway?"

Ranma shrugged. "We're fine. I... I feel comfortable around him." She laughed. "I still can't quite call him 'Tatewaki', though. I guess he'll always be Kunou to me."

Akane smiled. "That'll change." She glanced out the window for a moment. "It took a year for Ryouga to stop calling me 'Akane-san', but he has done it."

The dark-haired woman looked away. "Ranma, I am kind of worried about you and Kunou. There's... it's not something that can really be described. I just... I guess I'm wondering if you're really ready for a relationship like this."

Ranma stared at her for a moment, and slowly rubbed her wrists. She honestly wasn't sure how to answer Akane's question. "Akane... I don't know, either. Whenever either of us are... uncomfortable with something, we stop and talk about it. There are times when I'm still uncomfortable with even a kiss." Her gaze lowered. "There are other times, though, when... when I want every part of him."

Akane's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. "You don't mean..."

"Well, I've had ten months to think about it. I mean... if I do want the relationship to progress to its logical conclusion, then... then... then I will have to give myself to him. It's not something I'm ready for yet... but I'm trying to get there." Ranma raised an eyebrow Akane's way. "Does that surprise you?"

"Well... yes." Akane shrugged. "When we talked about doing it with each other when you were... I mean... you were adamant about not doing it in cursed form." She shook her head. "You've come a long way, Ranma - more than I ever expected."

"Thanks, Akane." She tilted her head toward the window, and pointed a manicured thumb toward the exit. "You want to elope with me? I know a great priest who'd be willing to do it..."

Akane giggled. "Only if we don't have any bridesmaid's dresses to worry about."

Ranma's facade broke, and she joined in Akane's chorus of laughter.

*********************************************

Ono Tofu sat at his desk, leafing through the day's paperwork. This was the part of his job that he hated; it felt so useless to chain himself to a desk so that every minutiae of detail could be catalogued for posterity, while people scant miles away needed a healer's touch to survive. He knew, of course, that such things were necessary; however, that didn't make him feel any better.

Sighing, looking for something to take him away from the work, he turned his head toward the window. It was a nice day out; Kasumi and the others would definitely have an enjoyable time shopping. He quietly wished he were with them, even if it meant holding Kasumi's purse while she tried something on.

Unfortunately, business called. Blinking the sleep from his eyes, he turned his head from the paperwork and focused on the mail. There was a letter from an old colleague of his from school, something he didn't get very often anymore. He picked up the letter, opened it quickly, and started reading.

He looked the passages over again, then looked at the photograph.

He blinked.

In a second, he rushed to the phone. There was a chance that they had finished their shopping trip already. He dearly hoped they had; this was something that was best settled quickly. He dialed the number, then waited for interminable seconds as the phone rang at the other end.

"Hello?"

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Sir? It's Tofu."

Soun's calm voice echoed across the wires. "What is it, son? You seem... troubled."

Tofu stopped for a moment, to try to find the right words. "Sir, I need to speak to Ranma. Immediately."

"What's wrong?"

He glanced at the receiver. "I would prefer to discuss that with Ranma privately before anyone else is told."

"As you wish." Soun's voice radiated annoyance. "I will tell her once they get back."

"Okay. That'll give me time to figure out how to tell her."

A pause held on the other end. "Is it that serious?"

Tofu shook his head. "I... I don't know, sir. It's difficult to tell anything right now. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. I'll tell her you called."

Pleasantries were exchanged as they hung up the phone; Tofu's eyes quickly turned to the photograph. It was certainly not a face he'd expect to see again, not after all this time. It was not a pleasant face; age had taken its toll, wrinkling the physiognomy almost beyond any appreciable recognition. The body was frail, wasted; he could see that the strength that once seemed boundless in the subject was fading.

Closing his eyes, he put the photograph back with the letter, and resumed his paperwork. Maybe he could think of something while he was working...

*********************************************

"uh-huh... Really? Why?...Oh, my... Ranma might not take that very well... Okay, dear, I'll tell them. I love you. Bye."

Kasumi hung up the phone, and turned back to her sisters. "Nabiki, could you take Akane over to your apartment for awhile? Ranma and I need to go to the clinic."

The redhead blinked. "What's wrong, Kasumi?"

She looked downward. "We'll talk about it at the clinic. I would prefer that we discuss it in private."

"Is it that serious?" Akane asked.

Kasumi nodded. "Yes." She smiled, a practiced move to relax people. "Don't worry. It's nothing dangerous. It might even be a good thing." She held out a hand. "Come along, Ranma."

Kasumi began her walk toward home, making sure Ranma came along behind her. The redhead's demeanor as the made their way gave her pause; Ranma was walking slowly, as though she were wearing a tight skirt, and her head was pointed downward, scarlet bangs covering her eyes. Kasumi sighed, and turned around.

"Ranma, are you okay?"

Ranma continued to stare downward. "Tofu found something, didn't he?" Her voice shook with something uncharacteristic of her: fear.

"Huh?" Kasumi turned back around, and put her hands on her hips.

Ranma rubbed her arms. She stared vacantly in front of her, her steps mechanical. "I mean, what else could it be? He found something from that examination he gave me last week, and... and something's wrong with me."

Kasumi chuckled. "Ranma, there is nothing wrong with you. You are the healthiest person I know." Her smile faded; her voice lowered to a whisper. "However, Tofu did get some news today that may concern your... second form."

Blue eyes widened to the size of quarters. "What? You mean... he may have found a... a cure?"

She shook her head. "I don't think so. There is a possibility that you might find one as a result of what happened... but I seriously doubt it." A sigh escaped from her lips. "I don't know; it's all so confusing."

Not much else was said on the way to the clinic. Kasumi occasionally glanced Ranma's way; the redhead seemed lost in her own thoughts. Ranma's soft-blue eyes darted about repeatedly, as though she were watching something not there. Occasionally she smiled; Kasumi hoped that, whatever she was dreaming, it would come true.

Heaven knew she deserved it.

*********************************************

The office had improved a great deal since Ranma first entered it many years ago. Sterile white stucco was now decorated with paintings of country scenes, antiques, and other trinkets inexpensive enough for a clinic to afford. Pink curtains draped over the outside windows, catching everyone's eye without assaulting it. Army-green blankets were replaced with every soothing color under the rainbow, and someone had painted the tiles on the floor in a pink - sky blue checkerboard pattern.

Even she had to admit: the clinic was certainly prettier with Kasumi in the place.

It was a small comfort to her, though. She didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or just scream. Something had come into her life - something ranging between a cure and another curse - and only Kasumi and Tofu knew what it was. Sighing, she walked over to Tofu's desk, and sat down in front of it.

The doctor also looked much improved from his bachelor days. His normal intensity was still there, but it was like it was relaxed, somehow. There had always been a tension in him before Kasumi; love and marriage had caused much of that tension to vanish. He smiled, and held a candy jar out to her.

"Hello, Ranma." His grin twinkled in the fading sunlight. "Candy?"

"Thanks." She snatched the hard candy like a toddler, and quickly began to savor it. Her eyes darted around the room - anything to get her mind off of what was at hand. "So, Doc. What's up?"

Tofu's dark eyes pierced into her - something that happened only when he was deadly serious. Her explorations of his office stopped. "Ranma, I received a letter this morning from a colleague of mine. It would seem that he has a patient that would like to see you."

Ranma's brow furrowed. "Huh? You and Kasumi get me all panicked, all because someone wants a visitor?"

Tofu glanced uncertainly at Kasumi, then continued. "Ranma, this is no ordinary patient. She... suffice it to say, she might have some idea as to what happened on the night of your bachelor party."

Ranma's eyes widened. She nearly swallowed the candy in shock. "You mean..."

Tofu pulled out a photograph from his pocket. "Yes, Ranma. We've found Cologne."

Ranma stared at the photograph for a moment, not quite believing. Part of her didn't want to see the wrinkled, emaciated body wasted away in the bed... it gave her an uncomfortable feeling inside. She'd never pictured someone so indomitable beaten by life like that - even if it was by mortality's incessant call.

"How... how is she?"

Tofu shook his head - a gesture she knew too well. "Not good. Her body's giving out; they don't expect her to last much longer."

Ranma swallowed the candy; it stretched her esophagus as it went down. "Did it mention anything about..."

Again, Tofu shook his head. "That's something only she can answer... that is, if you're going to visit her."

Ranma closed her eyes. She'd had dreams of a meeting like this - dreams and nightmares. In many of them, too many for her to ever trust the pillow again, she found the old ghoul laughing at her fate, chuckles like shards of glass rubbing against her skin. At the same time, she also thought that maybe - just maybe - the old ghoul might have the secret to bring her old self back.

She thought of Kunou, and wondered if she should even try.

"Doc... where is she?"

Tofu pushed his glasses up on his face. "Tenth Street Hospital." The glare of lights obscured his eyes. "Are you going?"

Ranma's throat stuck with old candy. "Y... Yes."

*********************************************

The surface of the pond rippled with the touches of raindrops, as a downpour covered Nerima district in something once tragic. Leaves drooped with heavy water; a strange energy seemed to fill the air, the byproduct of lightning's ionization. Rain sparkled like diamonds as it passed in front of the lighted dojo, the lonely shine of fluorescent lamps the only regular illumination in the complex.

Kunou felt the young woman shiver in her arms. She never complained about it, but he knew that cold affected her more than it did himself. Smiling, he gripped the blankets tighter in his fists, and closed his arms around her. She relaxed into his embrace, a faint whisper of a smile on her lips.

He honestly didn't know what to say to her. He'd waited weeks for a moment like this, when it was just the two of them, alone, quiet... at peace. How many hours had he gone over this moment, wondering how to make his case without driving her off? How many times had he begun the speech, only to have someone interrupt them - or, worse, for his own cowardice to betray him?

No more. He coughed once, hoping the words wouldn't sound too weak.

"Lovely night, isn't it?"

"Mmm." Ranma nodded. The smile faded; he wondered what he'd done wrong. There was a hurting in her eyes, even more so than her usual.

"What's wrong, Ranma?"

The love of his life sighed. "Nothing's wrong, Kunou." Her eyes looked melancholy as the pinpricks of light reflected in them, creating a sea of stars. "Or maybe everything is. I wish I knew."

This was not something he'd expected. Concerns took front seat. His dreams of the future had to come a close second. "What's happening?"

"Who says anything's happening?" Ranma scowled.

He shook his head. He knew her better than that. "Ranma..."

His 'redhaired goddess' shook her head - apparently in frustration. "I... I don't want to talk about it right now, Kunou. I still don't know what to make of it." She apparently saw his hurt expression; she reached up, and kissed him gently on the cheek. "When I know what's going on, I'll talk to you about it. Okay?"

"Okay." His resolve came back; it may not be the best of times, but he had to bring it up. If he waited for everything to be perfect, he'd never get a chance to talk about it.

"Ranma?"

"Yeah, Kunou?"

He closed his eyes for a moment. A million possible words came to mind; it was a struggle to choose just a few. "Have you... have you ever thought about starting a family?"

Relief at actually mentioning it died in her gaze. Her eyes reflected a world's worth of frustration. "God, Kunou, your timing needs a LOT of work."

The only thunder that spoke was the air's rumblings. So much hurt welled up inside of him. He tried not to let it show; she could see such things all too easily.

She shook her head, her eyes closed. "Sorry, Kunou. It's just that... the past day has been absolutely crazy." She licked her lips nervously. "Kunou..."

It hurt for him to swallow. His voice cracked like gravel beneath his feet. "Yes?"

"Do you remember when I asked you if you could love a man?"

Kunou nearly collapsed from shock. After all this time.. after all that had happened.. "You mean... there's a cure?"

Ranma chuckled - a bitter half-laugh that Kunou knew well. "I seriously doubt it; however, it is a possibility. I won't know anything until tomorrow, though." She managed a smile, something to tell the world she wasn't beaten yet. "But, if it is... what about us? What then?"

A sigh escaped from Kunou's lips. This was harder than he had thought. "Remember that little experiment we had with Jusenkyo water a few months back?" He smiled; he had actually made her laugh. Instinctively, he tightened his grip around her. "If it means living with a curse every day to be with you, then I do it. It's that simple. Love is that simple."

He couldn't conceal his dismay when she shook her head. "I... I wish it was that easy." Her eyes met his; her ferocity was coming out. "Do you know what it's like to wake up in a body that's not your own? I've had more nightmares than dreams ever since this curse came to me. I've lost a fiancee, lost a relationship with my father, destroyed friendships, nearly took my own life... and all because one day the curse decided to go a little haywire." The shadows drooped over her forehead, extending across her face. "I couldn't ask anyone to go through that."

The words came, before he could even think them. "You didn't ask, Ranma."

The young woman sagged in his arms; he could only imagine what she was going through inside. "Kunou... it's just a bad time. Maybe if... I dunno. Kunou, I'm just not ready yet."

Kunou nodded. He couldn't help the tears that trickled down his cheeks. "I... understand, Ranma." He bit his lip, hoping for some hope. "Do you still want to watch the thunderstorm with me?"

Ranma didn't say a word; she just snuggled into his embrace, and moved the blankets so that she would be more comfortable. He couldn't see, but knew she was crying; occasionally, a hot teardrop would splash on his hand.

It wasn't what he was hoping for, he knew. But, at least it wasn't what he feared. She knew, and hadn't totally rejected him; that was enough. And maybe, just maybe...

*********************************************

The hospital was, like most of the others she'd been to, an anomaly. It reeked of an unnatural sterility, a cleanliness that somehow seemed in violation of every human instinct. There was no soul to the building or its furniture; it was functional, but not spiritual. And, yet, it was the place where people were supposed to be mended - a contradiction to her, as the spirit had to be mended before the body could join it in health.

Cologne must absolutely detest the place, she thought.

She found herself rubbing her wrists as she walked down the hall; she quickly stopped herself, and put her hands at her sides. This was one time when she didn't want to show any weakness - not until she knew it was okay. Nervously, she smoothed out her shirt and slacks, and knocked on the door.

"Come in."

She opened the door slowly, as though fearing it would shatter. She knew that whatever was on the other side would not be a very pleasant sight.

Cologne was the only resident of the room; she was glad for that, as she didn't want to make a scene in front of others. Her wrinkled face was slightly gaunt; there was a yellowish tint to her skin and eyes, a sickly pallor that nearly made her nauseous. There was no aura that she could see; the matriarch who had coerced, muscled, and outright threatened to get her way had vanished, replaced by a lonely old woman.

Ranma waved to her. "Hello." She grimaced; the word sounded so... inadequate.

"Hello, Ranma." Cologne managed a weak smile. "Thank you for coming to visit me."

She shrugged. "Yeah, well..." She tried to act nonchalant, even while her insides twisted.

The old woman smiled. "Well, thank you anyway. Life in its winter can be horribly lonely." She raised a shaking hand to the water pitcher. "Would you like some?"

Ranma nodded. She knew how perceptive Cologne was; no doubt, the old woman could hear her panicked heartbeat. "Sure." She walked over to the pitcher, and poured a glass. "Do you want any?"

"No. I'm fine, thank you." The shaking hands went back to gripping the bed rails. Cologne continued to stare through her, waiting as she made herself more comfortable.

"So. How have you been?"

Ranma opened her mouth, then hesitated for a moment. For once, she honestly didn't know how to answer. "Well... everything's going okay, now. The dojo's busier than it ever was when Mr. Tendo was running it. I'm also going to college, and plan on graduating with a degree in physical education in about a year or so."

Cologne pursed her lips. "And Akane? How are the two of you doing?"

Ranma looked away. As much as she wanted to know what had happened, there were some things that she didn't want to remember. "We... broke up. About a year after I..." Her voice trailed off as she got a look at her host. "Are you okay, Cologne?"

"No." Cologne wiped tears from her face. "It will never be okay, Ranma." The matriarch forced her face back into a parody of her normal calm. "And my Shampoo? How has her life gone since my departure?"

Ranma's nails began to groove into the chair. It was clear as day that Cologne knew what had happened, but... why the dancing around? And the sorrow as well? "Well... she married Mousse about a year after you left. They have a healthy daughter, who's apparently the spitting image of her mother." She tried to smile, to ease Cologne's worries. "They'll be visiting Japan in about two months, if you want to see them."

Cologne looked downward, like a drunk trying to eye the empty glass. "I won't be around that long. I won't survive the next week." Her dark eyes turned back to her guest. Ranma flinched; there was so much pain behind them... "Is there any particular reason why they're coming?"

Ranma sighed. "Akane's marrying Ryouga then."

Any walls behind Cologne's mask shattered at that moment. Her face twisted, as though someone had stuck a knife through her ribs. Hands that had once shattered rocks gripped the bed rails tightly, jaundiced flesh wishing it could work magic once more.

"Ranma, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It was so arrogant of me, so stupid... and... and..."

Ranma's eyes widened as she realized...

"... I was the one who cursed you. I had tried to use it to get you for Shampoo, but... but something went wrong and... and... I'm sorry, Ranma. For everything."

The plastic cup hit the floor with a hollow popping sound, soon followed by the soft splash of cold water.

*********************************************

Damn me.

Too late; I've already been damned. She just confirmed it.

If I thought it would help, I'd slit my own wrists to make it better. It's clear Ranma's doing well (very well, in fact); unfortunately, like everything else traumatic that people go through, Ranma's transition left scars both physical and emotional. She doesn't know what to feel about me, that much is obvious.

To be honest, I thought she'd attack me. I watched the anger flare up inside of her, that power as bright as the sun preparing to finish the job that time began. For a moment, I thought that power worthy of my successor would consume me, ki like heavenly judgment raining down upon me. At least it would be over, then; at least the ending would be warm.

And, at the last second, Ranma turned and ran.

Why?

Part of me wants to hope that a part of her forgives me, or at the very least understands. I cannot hope for that much; I don't deserve mercy, let alone forgiveness. Perhaps she felt the pain of my ending would be a greater punishment than my immediate execution. Death would be a mercy for me, if the aftermath were not so terrible.

My yellowed eyes turn to my hands. Weak, fragile things; they couldn't even crush a walnut, now. This wasting away has left them so unstable that even holding a pen would be... would be...

That's it. I berate my mind, and wonder if that has gone as well for not thinking of it sooner. I reach for the nurse call, and press the button.

"Is something wrong?" I rarely call; they must think it a serious emergency.

"Could you please get me a pen, paper, and two envelopes? I... have some writing to do."

The sigh on the other end gives me pause; she knows what I am about to do, and why. "As you wish. I'll be there in a minute."

My arms rest as I let go of the call; there is so little strength left that even such a small conservation as that could be critical. My mind begins to construct the composition, working at speeds which my hands cannot.

*********************************************

With a great sigh, Akane walked through the door to her house, and slid it shut behind her. The day had been a trying one; a few of the morning-class students had decided to be late on their payments, and the business exam she'd just finished was a killer. Moreover, she had arrangements to make with the florist that afternoon, a meeting that she was not particularly looking forward to.

Needless to say, it was not a good day.

Picking herself up from the wall, she moved from the door and toward the kitchen. Cooking always cheered her up - at least, it did now that she had some patience for it. Besides, Ryouga would be done with his classes soon, and he would definitely appreciate something to snack on.

The *thwack* of flesh on wood got her attention, and she turned her head to investigate. Ranma was punching a wrapped plank mechanically, punishing the wood in an even, clockwork rhythm. Normally that would not have concerned her; however, Ranma's expression did.

There was no life in Ranma's face. Punch after punch, Ranma never grimaced, never smiled, never broadcast the tempest of emotions that formed the core of her onetime fiance. It was as though her soul had left her. Akane swallowed, and approached her carefully.

"What's wrong, Ranma?"

Ranma blinked once, then continued punching.

"Is it about the wedding, Ranma? Is that what's bothering you?"

Ranma never wavered; however, her lack of reaction suggested that it wasn't the wedding. Akane sighed, and racked her brains for other reasons.

"Did something happen between you and Kunou?"

Again, relative silence. Akane clenched her fists, reining in her worst enemy.

"Dammit, Ranma, speak to me!"

Ranma grimaced slightly, and shifted her stance for another punch. The impact was so hard that it cracked the plank at its base. Ranma blinked at the now-ruined plank, and sighed.

"Akane, if someone had taken your life away and you had been given a chance to exact revenge, what would you do?"

Akane blinked, then touched her friend's arm. "What happened, Ranma?"

The redhead closed her eyes. A tear rolled down her cheek. "I... I found out who locked me today."

"What?" Akane looked around. "Who?"

Ranma's expression twisted into something Akane had rarely seen in her: contempt. "Cologne. She was even sorry for what she did - like that's supposed to be some consolation. 'Sorry for ruining your life, Ranma! I didn't mean to!'" She shook her head. "And, right now, I don't know what to do."

Akane looked at the remains of the post. Anger began to crystallize inside of her. "Except beat the ever-living stuffing out of something, it seems."

Ranma gave a half-hearted chuckle. "It worked before..."

Akane picked up the plank of wood; the weight felt reassuring in her grip. She turned the plank over in her hands as her mind thought of something to say. "Ranma, what does your heart tell you?"

The redhead shook her head. "Too much. I... part of me wants to rip her eyes out, to make sure she hurts just as much as she hurt me. But... it feels wrong, somehow."

Akane crossed her arms. "Why? She hurt you in a way that you can't even begin to measure. Heck, she hurt *me* in ways that I never thought I'd experience. Why would you want to hold back?"

Ranma was tight-lipped once more. She crouched next to the remaining stump of wood.

"She's hurting, isn't she? Just as much as you did then."

After a moment, Ranma nodded. "She... lost everything because of what she did to me. She could never go back to the village, she couldn't come here... all she could do for the past four years is wander the world alone." She grit her teeth. "I've been there, Akane; so has Ryouga. It's not fun."

Akane tried to smile for her friend. She fumed inside; she felt like ripping the plank into splinters, then shoving those splinters down Cologne's throat. Unfortunately, at that moment Ranma needed more courage than what was inside of her - and she had to supply it to her. "Did you... find out why?"

Ranma shook her head. "I didn't stay that long. After she told me... I couldn't stay. I don't think I could have held myself off much longer."

The bride-to-be looked down at her sneakers. "Do you want to find out why?"

At this, Ranma seemed to stare out into nothing for a full minute. "I would. But..."

"Would it help if someone were there to accompany you? Friday is our off day for the dojo..."

Ranma's head moved around curiously, as though she were debating the pros and cons of the idea. "Y... yeah. Yes, it would." She stood up, put together in order once more. "Thanks, Akane."

Akane shrugged. Even after all this time, she didn't know how to take thanks from a person she'd nearly killed. "Anytime, Ranma."

*********************************************

Ranma stared up at the ceiling in her room. This was her time to go over the day's events; all too often, the day was so chaotic that any sort of personal organization would have to wait until bedtime.

Today's events certainly qualified as chaotic.

She was calm, now; the shock and anger of Cologne's revelation had worn off. That had both its good and bad points, as she could see with more clarity the events that had taken place. Cologne wasn't faking it; she was genuinely sorry, and any physical pain she was in was eclipsed by emotional wounds. Ranma had a conscience; she couldn't hurt anyone who was in pain like that.

Cologne, in her heyday, would have called it a weakness. But how weak should she be?

She closed her eyes, and tried to imagine the early days, just after the curse had started to go haywire. Akane's lips pressed against her own, even while the padding between their chests grew. Mornings waking up with a body that wasn't hers came back to her, the start to long days where all she wanted to do was fade away into nothing. The sting of the razor made itself felt, and she rubbed her wrists in remembrance.

Considering all that had happened, it was a miracle she survived. Of course, miracles had been her stock in trade. Survival had been her miracle in that debacle; she'd just been hoping for a greater one.

She sighed and turned over onto her side, jamming the pillow against her ear in the process. There was so much she didn't know about what had happened. Cologne had mentioned that something had gone wrong; what? And what happened to Happousai in all of that? Maybe after that, she could give some sort of judgment in the matter.

She closed her eyes, and focused on the other major problem in her life. Kunou had asked to go to the next stage, to deepen their relationship in a very personal, intimate way. It was time, they both knew; in fact, their relationship was starting to stall because she was refusing to go on. She didn't want to lose the relationship... but she didn't know what to do about him. The thought of him putting _that_ in _there_... there were still times when it frightened her, even though she welcomed the sensations that arousal gave to her second body. There was so much that was involved in that one little step, and she wasn't sure if she was ready for that package of goodies.

Too many problems - definitely too many problems. Ranma turned over to her other side, away from the window, and purposely shut her eyes from the light. She'd find the answers eventually; she always did.

*********************************************

Sometimes, the storm is at peace.

Ranma knelt in the center of the dojo, her eyes closed in meditation. A pristine karate gi covered her form in billowing white clouds, acting as a frame for the sunset of her face. She did not smile, nor was her face turned in a frown; she sought the neutral place where emotions were no longer a concern, where only the pure spirit remained.

And that spirit was never more beautiful to Kunou's eyes. When she meditated, the weights of her past washed away from her for precious moments, leaving that angel shining bright like the morning sun. He wanted her to know that peace in every waking moment; however, he also knew how elusive that peace was.

"You can stop ogling me now, Kunou."

The words were spoken so softly that Kunou blinked in surprise. Ranma turned to regard him, her eyes touched with amusement. He shuffled his feet, and moved toward her.

"I... apologize. I did not mean to disturb your meditations."

Ranma exhaled quickly, a move that was almost a chuckle. "It's okay, Kunou." She patted the wood next to her. "Come on. I won't bite."

Kunou frowned. "You did last week..."

The giggles began to develop in earnest. "Well, you drive me to it sometimes." Her eyes followed him as he moved to kneel next to her.

"How were your meditations?" He relaxed his position slightly; when in the dojo, he fought sometimes not to act in a proper manner.

"Good. Very good." She reached over and touched his arm. The sensation for him was like being burned and frozen at the same time. "I... was thinking about the day we met."

Kunou grimaced. "Oh, no... not that day."

Ranma nodded, her expression like a Cheshire cat. "Come on. It wasn't that bad."

He crossed his arms. "Well, you weren't the one who had the symbol 'insufferable' written on his forehead all day long."

She broke into full giggles, then sobered. "Kunou, I... I don't know if I can forgive Cologne in time. I know she's changed, I know she's suffered... but it hurts so much. She took away everything that I held dear - and all because she wanted me to be her great-granddaughter's toy." A painful grimace marred her perfect beauty. "I... I want to forgive her, believe me I do. But I don't think I can."

Kunou looked away. "That's why you were thinking about the day we met - so you can figure out how we forgave each other."

Ranma nodded. "We... needed each other, then. It was either forgive, or..." She rubbed her wrists, as though a chill had entered the room.

Kunou frowned. "Ranma, you have to do something to let go, if you want to forgive. It's the only way to keep from returning to our second meeting place."

"Such as?" Ranma's finger traced a line along a floorboard.

He shook his head. "Only you can know that." Frowning, he put his hands over hers; he still marveled that something so dainty and small could smash boulders without effort. "But, when you do find out, we will be here with you."

"We?" Ranma's brow furrowed.

"Nothing you do is alone, Ranma. You know that." He smiled. "The people around you care for you very much, and will never let you slip like you did before." His voice trembled. "We... love you too much."

Ranma looked up at him, her eyes meeting his for the first time. She stared at his face; for a moment, he was tempted to ask if someone had tattooed a message on his forehead again. After a moment, she relaxed, and gave a broad smile.

"Thanks, Kunou. That means... that means a lot to me." She turned her hand around, to grip his. "I think I'll need it tomorrow."

He didn't want to let go; he wanted to hold her forever, their hands expressing love that others could never understand. He rubbed a finger along her wrist, along her scar - his way of showing his acceptance of her. "I'll be there."

Her grin took a wry turn. "You'd better be."

*********************************************

"Ranma! Wake up!"

The redhead sputtered at the cold water in her face, and glared at the person standing over her. "Akane! You didn't have to splash me, you know!"

Akane put her hands on her hips, turning Ranma's attention to just how little in the way of sleepwear she was wearing. "I tried everything else!" She sighed. "Tofu's on the phone."

Ranma rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "What does he want?"

Akane shook her head. "He wouldn't tell me. He just said it was important."

Yawning, Ranma rose from the bed and made her way downstairs. She was so tired that she nearly placed the receiver backwards. "Hello?"

"Ranma?"

She yawned again. "Yeah?"

A yawn came from the other end of the phone line. "I just got a phone call from Dr. Yoshida down at the hospital." Ranma could count her heartbeats: one, two, three... "Cologne... has taken a turn for the worse. They... don't expect her to survive much longer."

Ranma blinked at the news; she honestly didn't know what to think of it. "I... see. Will they allow me to visit?"

"Yes." Tofu's voice was strained. "Since there's nothing they can do for her... they'll let in anyone wishing to visit."

"Thanks, Doc. I'll be there as soon as I can." Ranma hung up the phone and made her way back to the room. She got ready quickly; she didn't have time to worry about how tired she was or what assignments she was likely to sleepwalk through that day. She didn't have time to worry about anything else.

She had to go, for one final time... to make peace, or war.

*********************************************

Ranma inched the door open. She still didn't know if it was okay; the nurses had said nothing when she entered the room, so she assumed that it must be all right. Dawn hadn't come yet; the skies glowed orange with the promise of day, but that day had yet to blossom.

Cologne lay quietly on the bed, as though in state. The monitor droned away; occasionally, her heart would falter slightly, then pick up the normal rhythm it had maintained for a century. Ranma could tell immediately; Cologne was nowhere near well, and the doctor's predictions of mortality were likely accurate.

Biting her lip, Ranma moved over to the bed. She sat down on the chair's edge and clasped her hands together, as though in prayer.

"Hey, Cologne. It's... it's me."

She grimaced; this felt strange. Of course, she wasn't likely to get another chance. "Cologne, I came by... to tell you... to talk to you... about who I am. I... I think I owe you that much - whether you meant to do this to me or not, whether you can even hear me in there, you at least deserve to know."

A noise from outside got her attention for a moment; apparently someone else was sliding away. "After I... was stuck as a woman, I... I hated myself for the longest time. I mean, here I was, in this borrowed body that was everything I despised in me... and I was forced to wear it every day, like a costume that wouldn't come off. I... all I could do was lash out at everyone near me. I was in so much pain... it was all I could do anymore. I had died long before I slashed my wrists; I imagine I probably died after the last attempt at a cure."

She managed a smile; her throat was beginning to hurt. "Who I am now was born in the two months after my... suicide attempt. I met a friend, one who was hurting like I was... and who needed a friend to make it through his problems. He was attracted to me, yet he had the honor to let me live, to let me find out who I really was. He waited for me to love him... something that I grew into. My childhood - the childhood of who I am - was in that hospital."

Her knuckles turned white from her grip. Her eyes gazed sightlessly forward; her words were revelations to her as she uttered them. "Cologne, I'm not a child anymore. I know who I am now; I know my place in this world." She managed a small smile; she knew the tears were coming, but she didn't care. Not now. "And, for the first time since I was first splashed, I'm not ashamed, Cologne. I'm not ashamed. And God, I never thought that would feel so good."

Ranma stood up, and regarded Cologne's face. Some people radiated peace when they slept; Cologne looked as though she were burning herself out, even as there was no energy left to burn. Definitely a face with too many secrets, and too many sins beneath the surface.

"Cologne, I don't know if you meant to curse me or not. I don't care anymore. What's done is done. If you meant to, know this: I won." She gritted her teeth, her voice shifting to a harsh whisper. "I won. And if not, well... you don't have to worry about me anymore. It's done now - well, almost done. I... I almost wish you could see..."

Ranma brushed Cologne's cheek lightly. She tried to imagine some innocence in that face, some sign that there was still hope for her... but saw only the tortures of the damned. She reached down and squeezed Cologne's hand. "Good bye, Cologne. I pray you find some peace in whatever is beyond this life." She walked away, daring to steal a glance at her body before leaving, then turned forward.

There was a lot to do that day - and the first thing was to sleep.

*********************************************

It's cold.

It's so cold.

I guess I never thought the end would be like this. Amazon lore teaches about the ancestors' judgment at the end, where all the warriors who came before me look upon my actions and sentence me to torment or paradise among their number. I always thought I would face my gods.

Now, I realize that I don't warrant even that. They've already seen what a fool I was, and have cast their judgment against me. All I feel is cold; all I see is a white nothing; all I hear are wails. I don't know if they are my own, or someone else's; after all, this is the end.

Shapes form in the white around me, blurs so fast I almost can't see them; what I do see, however, causes me to gasp.

It's judgment, in the worst way possible.

Feelings pass over me; I feel a baby's irrational need for security and warmth through my aged psyche, and a child's pain at the loss of his mother. I realize how much I have in common with this child; both of us were hardened into warriors at an early age, and lost much of our childhood as a result. I always did hate that man I now also know as Father; now, I have double the reason for despising him.

Years come and go like a summer breeze; I feel kinship as my other self plays with his newfound friend. I want to help my other self as he is cruelly tossed into the pit of cats; instead, I feel his torment as the felines rake their claws over my second skin, and yowl in madness along with him as we together escape from the private hell. Another playmate comes along; I smile as I meet Ryouga again, and we play our little games on a junior high's stage.

I enjoy it while I can. I know the worst is yet to come.

What comes is Jusenkyo. I feel the shock and horror of a body that isn't ours, but is something else... something alien to my other self. Rage fills us; I bite back frustration as Genma doesn't get what he should have had coming to him. I see the Amazon village through a stranger's eyes; my other self's view is remarkably complimentary. I see the flaws in Shampoo's attack, and realize she deserved to get knocked off the pedestal. I don't see my old self in the crowd; that is perhaps for the best.

Tokyo fills my vision; the Tendos take up much of our life, as does the curse. I feel the growing attachment toward Akane - the first true evidence of my damnation. They loved each other more than anyone realized, myself included, and I feel shame with each moment they draw closer. I also see the antics of Shampoo, Kodachi, Ukyou... to my other self, it was all a game, something to keep loneliness at bay. I felt his heartbreak at our schism with Ukyou; I remember how I viewed the breakup as an opportunity. Wedding plans were made, dreams forged, each one reminding me of what I destroyed.

The morning after... after feeling the change in that manner, I make a vow never to use the formula again, not in that way. In my one-and-a-half lifetimes, I had never felt agony like that, not even from childbirth. The events of the following weeks and months pass by, as something I'd never felt in my other self comes forth - despair. Slowly, we lose everything: our manhood, our strength, our friends... Akane. I try to will my eyes shut, but they will not close; I try to close my ears, but still they hear; I try to pull my mind away from the torment I caused, but I am chained to the one I harmed.

Chained to the wrist - the very same wrists we slashed. I could feel our anguish at Akane's betrayal, the desire to _end it_, the sting of the razor blade as it pierces skin; the death chill as our life's blood flows out of our veins, as our _life_ flows out of the mortal seeming...

... only to have us wake up again, in a cold, impersonal hospital. I feel our wish to leave the place, to finish what we have started, our desire to end the pain that we thought no mortal force could soothe.

We thought. I would never have expected the buffoon kendoist to have such a soul; neither did she. There was nothing else for us, and nothing for him, so we came together under the watchful eye of the psychiatrists. Such is life, we think.

I smile at the synchronicity.

Other scenes come up, ones far more pleasant; the taste of sweet freedom, along with the insecurity such freedom brings. I can feel strength returning to our body, as a new purpose comes to our lives. For the first time since before my blunder, we have a goal, and we are working hard to achieve it. I feel the closeness we have to Kunou, along with the fear and indecision such personal intimacy brings. Occasionally we steal glances Akane's way - the only truly painful moments that come to us.

Another time of testing comes, and I find myself buffeted with sadness once more. Still, we are better prepared for it; the news causes us to sever the last romantic ties to our old life, and embrace the new. It is different in Kunou's embrace; it is the contentment of protection that we feel that night.

We can't ever recall feeling truly safe, not until he held us in his arms. We progress this path, struggling with every kiss, every caress. We feel longing - we both share it - yet we cannot act on it. There is a last lingering part of our manhood, a memento from younger days, blocking our progress.

Time slows, and I find us together, facing my old life one final time. I hear our words, and know we believe them; it is still difficult for me to believe in forgiveness. I don't deserve it, not after what I'd done.

I expect this to be the end of my journey. After all, we have come to the present. I am gone, consumed by age. It is time for us to separate, I think, and for me to face my judgment.

Strangely enough, a voice calls to me and says no. Not yet.

I open my eyes wide... and realize why. The future awaits both of us; I feel our resolution, our courage as we tear the last of our barriers down. There is nothing standing in the way, now. What I have done has been undone; the damage I have wrought is repaired.

And, in that moment of redemption, I know a warmth like I have never known, and a peace I thought I would never find.

*********************************************

Kunou Tatewaki held the bokken in his hands, his eyes focused on the invisible target in front of him. Classes were done for the day; the only opponents he had left to face were those who resided in the shadows. For his practice, he imagined some honorable samurai in front of him, someone who would test his skills to the utmost. The faintest crease of a smile appeared on his face as he began his warrior's dance.

The phantom opened with a straight thrust, a powerful stroke that Kunou parried to the side. He tried a feint-thrust combination to the phantom's exposed side; the shadow warrior wasn't falling for it, though, and parried his blade to the side. A series of attacks, feints, and parries came; he fought the urge to become too eager for the prize, and made himself wait for the opportunity to attack. He saw the opening, pulled his bokken back for the thrust...

Only to stop as a real bokken pushed his own out of harm's way. He moved into a more relaxed position as a new opponent showed her blade.

Ranma circled around him, like a panther eyeing prey. Kunou's eyes widened at her choice of attire; clad in a snow-white hakama, she seemed an angel of the battlefield. She held a bokken in her hands, and pointed it straight at his heart.

"I understand that you wish to defeat me in combat so that you may date with me."

Kunou gaped. It took a moment for him to regain his composure. "Indeed. Only a warrior capable of taming a tigress such as yourself could ever hope to capture your heart." He moved his bokken into a guard position. "Are you ready?"

She smiled; for a moment, he saw her mask slip, and glimpsed what she was feeling behind the acting. "I am. Begin, if you truly desire me."

The two circled each other, their weapons at the ready. He moved closer; she backed up only slightly. He touched her blade, and pushed it aside.

He smiled. There was no resistance. With a swift motion, he moved his blade to touch her guard, and disarmed her with a flick of his wrist. Her weapon clattered to the floor - the only sound in the room.

His heartbeat thundered in his ears once silence returned. He lowered his guard and approached her, their eyes locked to each other. Ranma tried to act in character, even if her face was betraying her. She looked up to him; they were so close that he could see the shimmer in her eyes.

"Oh, my. It would seem that I am at your mercy. Whatever shall I do now?"

Kunou raised an eyebrow. "You did mention a date..."

Ranma reached up, and pulled him down to her. "I want more, Kunou. A lot more." He found himself conquered in her grasp, as she kissed him with all the passion between them.

After a moment, they broke it off. Kunou looked down at her; she up at him. She smiled, in that way that let him know there was no cynicism, no guilt, no sadness... only love.

"I'm ready now, Kunou."

*********************************************

Epilogue

"I can't stand all this waiting." Ryouga paced around the room, and adjusted his bow tie for the seventh time in as many minutes. "I... I feel like hitting something!"

A slender hand moved in front of his body. "Ryouga, sit down. If you keep on pacing like this, I will give you something to hit." She snorted. "Though you couldn't hit me on your best day..."

Ryouga swung halfheartedly. "Yeah, Ranma. Right. At least I don't fight like a girl."

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Considering your bride-to-be trashed about everyone in this room at one time or another, that's a pretty big compliment."

"Yeah..." Ryouga's eyes softened, apparently imagining events of the near future.

Tofu looked over at Kunou, and adjusted the fit of his tux jacket. "Are they always like this?"

Kunou shrugged. "No. Normally they just start swinging." A wry grin formed on his face. "Considering the way they act around each other, you would think that it was Ranma that Ryouga was marrying today." His reward for the comment was a glare from the two people in question.

Ryouga closed his eyes, and sighed. "I'm going to the bathroom."

"Oh no, you don't. Not by yourself, anyway." Ranma grabbed him by the collar of his jacket. "Tofu, escort him, please. Take him by the hand down to the bathroom, and do not let him out of your sight until he is back in this room."

"Ranma, I..." Ryouga started to protest, then fell silent. "Okay. Come on, Doc." Tofu took him by the hand, and led him out of the room.

Ranma, at least, was glad for the break. She sat down in Tofu's place, and took off her heels.

"Don't like the shoes?" Kunou raised an eyebrow. "You know, you could have worn dress shoes if you wanted to."

Ranma flashed him a dark look as she started to rub her feet. "Unfortunately, I've got about thirty centimeters of height to make up. Besides, there are some things this outfit can't hide." She flapped her jacket open, showing off her curves more dramatically in the process. "Not exactly a good 'best man', am I?"

"Better than most." Kunou's smile faded as he put his arms around her waist. "Are you going to be okay, Ranma?"

Ranma shrugged, and put her shoes back on. "I guess. I mean, I've had a year to prepare for this." She looked downward. "If not... I'll let you know. Okay?"

Kunou nodded, and kissed her hair. "I love you."

Her old smile - that cocky Saotome grin - returned. "I know." She wrung her hands together, its small pain enough to distract. "To be honest, I wish _I_ had something to hit. All this waiting for two sets of 'I do'..."

Kunou smiled. "Considering all that went into the wedding, I think most of it isn't for the couple in question, but for their family and friends." His arms slithered across her stomach, moving her closer to him. "I do think they should have taken our advice and eloped."

Ranma shook her head, all the while trying to control the warm shiver inside of her. "Akane would never have gone for that. She liked the dress too much." A mixed smile formed on her face. "Guys couldn't care less about the stuff that goes on outside of the ceremony. All that matters is that she's there. Girls, on the other hand... they want to look beautiful. They want to make the best bride possible, and try to ensure the ceremony is as breathtaking as they can get it."

She could feel Kunou's wry grin behind her. "And you? What sort of ceremony would you prefer?"

Ranma blinked for a moment, then smiled. "We're eloping."

Kunou laughed. His chuckle felt so... good to her. "I'll have to remember that." A silence descended on the pair; Ranma concentrated on the warm feeling surrounding her.

"Kunou?"

"You do realize I'm going to have to break you of that habit, Ranma."

Ranma chuckled. "Old habits die hard, Tacchi." She dug her fingernails into her hands. "Tacchi, can we... leave early, once Akane and Ryouga head out? I don't want to stay any longer than I have to."

A hand moved away from her abdomen; she felt it stroke her hair, before resting on the side of her head. "Of course, Ranma. As the lady wishes..." She shivered as she felt a kiss on her neck, just above the collar. The brush of a second kiss made itself felt, just before the door creaked open.

Damn.

Tofu and Ryouga walked back into the doorway. The two men looked at each other, eyebrows raised. "You two do realize it's not too late for a double ceremony," Ryouga crowed.

Ranma spied an empty plastic bottle within arm's reach, and hurled it at the groom. "Ryouga... no." She sighed as he dodged its path. "Besides, one wedding to worry about today is enough."

Tofu gestured to the door he'd just passed through. "They're ready to start. They want us to line up and get ready."

Ranma swallowed, and nodded her assent. A momentary wave of cold surrounded her, as Kunou unwrapped himself from her. He straightened out his jacket, then offered a hand out to her.

"Shall we?"

She couldn't help but grin. Whenever there was any sort of formal event, Kunou allowed a touch of his old self to come out - not enough for him to start misquoting poetry, but enough to make her smile. She accepted the hand, and eased herself up off of the chair.

She straightened out her jacket, and looked over at him. "How do I look?" Upon seeing the look on his face, she frowned. "Never mind. You wouldn't be able to give me a straight answer even if you wanted to." She adjusted the fit of her tie. "Well, let's get this over with." She followed Tofu and Ryouga outside, to the entrance of the chapel.

The place was a nice Christian church, a testament to a foreign god formed of imported woods and stained glass. It did not seek the harmony of Shinto or Buddhism, as no religion which focused so much on the murder of one could be so concerned with harmony. Rather, it was in glory that it focused; the intricate carvings all told of ascendance not from within, but from without. It was not the quiet beauty of the Japanese garden that resided here, but the noisy perfection of the Hiryuu Shouten Ha, or Mouko Takabisha. Ranma had no particular opinion on the religion, but she decided that the place, at least, had class.

She swallowed, and focused on the back of Kunou's head. She didn't want to think about what was about to happen, and she certainly didn't want to look at any of the guests. If she did that, if she let herself see the glow of happiness they felt... she might lose any control she had left. She could hear Ryouga shuffling behind her; if she was nervous, he was probably two minutes away from a nosebleed.

The music started; she gave a quiet thanks that they finally got the show started. Tofu, the first groomsman, started his march; Kunou followed, then her. She could feel the eyes on her as she walked; many of the people in the audience had agreed to show up for the last attempt Akane had at a wedding - an attempt canceled due to the groom's medical problems.

With a blink, past events vanished. There was no future, there was no past, there was only the now. And now, two of her closest friends were becoming husband and wife, and she had to be there to support it. She finished her march down the aisle, and moved into her position, scant feet away from Ryouga's center stage.

The march started its second verse, the cue for the bridesmaids to come out. Sayuri, Akane's friend, was the first bridesmaid; Ranma raised an eyebrow at the brown-haired woman. Kasumi and Nabiki chose the dresses well; the burgundy outfits seemed appropriate among the hardwoods and glass. Sayuri gave Ranma a strange look as she made her way to the other side; Ranma questioned with her gaze, but could say nothing.

Kasumi was the second bridesmaid. She'd only gained a couple of pounds so far as a result of the pregnancy; as such, she made a ravishing beauty in the outfit. Ranma heard a commotion to her side, and glanced over there; Tofu's glasses were fogging up, the first sign of him losing it over his wife's beauty. Fortunately, Kunou gently kicked him in the leg before he could totally flip out. Kasumi gave one of her quiet smiles toward him, and took her place among the bridesmaids.

Ranma wasn't sure what to make of the third bridesmaid; Nabiki was calm and collected, even at this most important hour. The businesswoman glanced at the groomsmen with an enigmatic smile - whether it was aimed at Ranma, Kunou, or Ryouga was unknown - and took her place nearest the center of the aisle.

The music changed, and Ranma swallowed. Akane began to make her way to the front of the chapel. Bedecked in a beautiful lace wedding dress, she had never looked more lovely, as it both accentuated her own curves while adorning them with various bits of silk and pearl. Her face was obscured enough by the veil to make her appear covered in mist, while showing enough that there was no doubt as to the beauty behind the fog.

Ranma closed her eyes. Some memories would not be denied, and she had too many memories of Akane to deny all of them. Old dreams, cooled embers from bonfires long extinguished, came forth, tempting her with demon's promises.

A hand reached out to steady her, causing her to look to her left. Kunou's eyes were not on the main attraction; instead, he was focused more on the sideshow. They didn't say a word. They didn't have to.

His hand wrapped around her, ending somewhere between her spine and her side. She knew why; anything more would be too much for the ceremony. Ranma concentrated on the warmth of Kunou's hand; it was a comfort she'd come to enjoy over the past year.

Right now, she needed as much comfort as she could get.

Most of the minister's words were meaningless to her; she let the sermons on the importance of the marriage vows pass over her head. They were not important to her, not yet; besides, she'd had vows like that broken behind her back. What mattered to her was the love between the couple, the strings that bound two hearts together. Akane and Ryouga had it, a lot more than their family realized. If they hadn't, they would have split up a long time ago.

And... she and Kunou had it, a lot more than anyone realized. It was an understanding between them, a form of sharing scars that no person who hadn't been in the hospital could understand. She knew his madness, could feel his urge to descend into the fantasies of what could never be. He knew her pain, her knowledge that she would never be the person she had wanted to be, and the torture of living a life that she neither asked for nor wanted.

The deep, booming voice of the minister broke out of her reverie. She blinked, and realized with a wry sadness that she'd missed the part about speaking up to protest the marriage bond.

"Do you, Ryouga, take Akane to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love, honor, and cherish, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

Ryouga's voice squeaked, "I do."

Ranma began to rub her hands together. Her fingers caught on something sharp, and she paused.

"And do you, Akane, take Ryouga to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love, honor, and cherish, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

Ranma noticed Akane's eyes peering at her from behind the veil, as though asking for permission. Ranma gave a quiet nod, the only response she could give. Her hands focused on that sharp catch; her index finger rubbed across it vigorously.

Akane turned to the minister. "I do."

Ranma didn't see Akane and Ryouga kiss; her eyes may have been pointed in that direction, but she was feeling more than she was seeing at that moment. Kunou's hand felt like a warm blanket around her; the diamond ring on her left hand cut sharply into her right index finger. Both were a promise, similar to the one that Akane and Ryouga took. They would love, honor, and cherish each other as long as they lived. They would get married soon enough, but it didn't matter. The marriage would simply seal what had been forged slowly for years.

Ranma leaned closer into Kunou as the applause started, and sighed. It was an end for the four of them there... but it was a beginning as well. She smiled and nodded to the Hibikis as the couple turned toward her and Kunou.

No words were said between them. She smiled, and gestured with her eyes toward her fiance; Akane did the same with Ryouga. Her smile broadened.

The next stage - _her_ next stage - had begun.

*********************************************

FIN.

*********************************************

Author's note: I've received a question as to what I'll be putting up of the other Iris stories. Basically, if it's a story I wrote, I'll be putting it up here. This means that "Markings" will be up in a few days as an epilogue, along with some author's notes. Works by other authors are up to them. "Iris Again" has been on fanfiction dot net for years now; not sure about "Bookends".

Original version released December 21, 1998

Released to fanfiction dot net March 28, 2009


	5. Epilogue: Markings

Epilogue: Markings

My wrists sting as they descend beneath the water's surface; blood, as bright as a stop sign, smokes into the bath, turning the water to a sickly rose hue. It's supposed to be warm, here; strange that the bath seems cooler, now. Heavy-lidded eyes watch my life seep from my veins... a gentle smile crosses our lips as I begin to let go.

My trial is finished. No more to live for; it's time for me to move on. Akane... Akane should be happy, now that I'm out of the way. She can get on with her life, and love... love a real man. Nobody will have to worry about me anymore; even I've stopped doing that. I shrink into myself; the cold is coming... so cold...

"Mommy! Mommy, wake up!"

I open my eyes, and blink the nightmares away. My hand reaches out for something more precious; despite what I've seen, I can't help but match her smile. "Okay, okay... just give Mommy a couple of minutes, okay?"

"Okay!" She bounces away with energy I vaguely remember having once, leaving me alone in my bed once more. The ceiling immediately grabs my attention; I turn over and stare at the stucco for a minute.

Well. It had definitely been awhile since he visited like that. Not a visitor I prefer in my dreams - then again, perhaps it's a good thing he did come to visit.

He is dead. That was the last message of a man who couldn't live with himself, and bid adieu to the life he'd been dealt. His ashes have been cold for years - however, I still remember his life fondly.

I reach my arms to the sky, and stare at the marks I'd given myself that day. Two long white scars, one on each wrist, like a pair of bracelets I can't get off. Not that I want to, of course; they're a reminder, after all, a note to myself sometimes when things get tough. I trace the line of one with a finger; the cold touch of steel comes back, giving me the chills.

It had been a near thing. Life... or death? Easy question for most - unless you end up in a body that isn't yours, facing a future you'd rather not see. Heck, if I had seen who I'd become, I probably would have finished the job. Better to die in some cold furo than become some stupid *girl*...

Well, I became a girl - a woman, actually, much to my surprise. And... and it's not that bad. I can still kick everyone's tail in a fight; I can still be as rough as I want to be. I can still be me; it's just that... that *me* is more than what I was.

I roll over onto my side, toward the empty half of the bed. His side is cold, now; however, I san still smell his scent in the sheets, reminding me of a million little things, a million secrets we share. I remember that smile he has, so free of the bluster he'd known; his dark eyes swallow me, speaking of mysteries I cannot speak, but intimately feel. Other, more private thoughts leap to mind, and I blush slightly in remembrance.

He's a good man - better than I would have been. He knows love - we know love - and we're both stronger for it. Yes, I love him; my other self could not know it, but I can. In that moment, I give thanks for the crazy things that brought us together, those trials that taught us what love really is.

My daily affirmations done, I rise from the bed. I let my nightgown fall to the floor, tossing off one shell and putting on another. The slacks and shirt feel like a second skin; even after all these years, it's in these clothes that I am most comfortable. A few moments of primping, and I'm ready to face the day.

"Mommy!"

She leaps into my arms, a scarlet blur that I can barely hold on to at the best of times. I twist her upside-down in my grasp, and take delight in her giggles. A flick of the wrist and she's right-side up, her face inches from mine.

"Good morning, Akiko!" Does she hear all I put into those words - the song of love and fear and caring and mourning represented in a few slips of the tongue? Can she know, even if she does?

"Good morning, Mommy!" Her song echoes mine, but is so different; hers cries of simple love in its most perfect form. She hugs me around the neck and kisses my cheek - a treasure for years from now, when she has made her own life. "let's go, let's go!"

I give her a stern look; I see what plans she makes... "Don't tell me you want to beat up on my beginners again..."

Her dark eyes light up like a Christmas tree. "Yeah!"

Yep; she's definitely my daughter. I set her down and look her in the eyes - another conversation to remember.

"Now, Akiko, you can't expect to fight my beginning students every day. They're still just learning, after all. And, being beat... they don't like that." I think back for a moment, and smile. "Tell you what. If they challenge you, then you can fight them. Okay?"

"Okay..." She doesn't sound too happy about that; she's as stubborn as I was, and she wants a challenge. I pick her up into my arms once more; after stopping to grab my purse and sunglasses, we're quickly on our way.

My eyes turn to the sky as we begin our journey. It's a perfect day, with the sun brilliant in the morning sky; for a moment, I wonder if someone faces such light with despair. Once, I did; once, days were for existence, not enjoyment. And... one such day nearly became my last.

It's good that my daughter has such a diametrically opposite view from that. She can barely stay in my arms; she wants to go everywhere, see everything, do everything.

And... I can't fault her for it. I was the same way, once; she'll need that energy if she plans to get through growing up. I see so much of the potential I had at that age, when everything was innocent and no force on Earth could stop me - before I lost my best friend, before I lost my humanity in a pit of cats.

Before I fell into a spring, and lost what man I was.

We reach the dojo sooner than I expected; guess my mind was elsewhere during the travelling. I hear the sounds of men fighting, and smile; it's a strange feeling being a part of them, and yet not.

My job as chauffer is done; Akiko leaps from my arms at the door, into what has become her playground. I watch her as she begins her daily adventures; she is always a part of me, and that part of me goes to play with her.

"Hey, Ranma." An easy voice comes from the side; Akane casually stands there, her infant son in her arms.

"Hey, Akane," I whisper in reply. I don't really see her; I look off to what Kunou and I have created. "How's Hiroshi?"

"Fine," she replies. Her free hand touches my shoulder, a gentle touch I would know in my sleep. "Ranma, are you okay?"

In the yard, my daughter plays with Hayao, Akane's eldest; I am lost in the scene. There is me in her, true; however, there is more to it than that. Her face is not all mine; some bits remind me of him, and also of Akiko's 'crazy' Aunt Kodachi. She has more strength than I had at that age; moreover, she's got gifts of the mind I can't comprehend.

Which is, I guess, the point. She is the best of both of us - and that is the way it should be. I rub my wrists unconsciously; to think my darkness nearly destroyed this...

I know better now. Life has been better with me - THIS me - here. That's a scary thing to discover, but it is not without happiness. My smile widens; I turn from my progeny.

"Yeah, Akane. I'm okay."

She pulls out a wry grin. "So. You wanna watch our husbands get all sweaty while they work out?"

Mischief dances in Akane's eyes, a look I never understood in the old days. We've been so much - fiancees, girl friends, competing mothers - it's hard to say what we are now, except close. And, to be honest, her suggestion does have some appeal...

"Sure. Come on; maybe we can make them even more hot and bothered before the session's over." I lead her by the hand; like the pair in the yard, we giggle without reservation, and revel in the playtime.

Yeah... I'd say things are going well.

***

2009 final notes:

Ironically, this epilogue is the closest I ever got to the original plans for Iris - and is a good example of how an idea can morph over time.

See, the idea for Iris got its inspiration from the Nanban Mirror episode. Ranma went ten years into the future, and found Akane happily married to Ryouga - including having sons who'd inherited Ryouga's curse. I thought of an expansion to that, where Ranma stays around to find his future self - female and married to Kunou. Ranma naturally freaks at this, and much of the story is Ranma coming to understand how he could change into his future self and, to a large extent, who he is deep inside - what changes when he changes into a girl, and what doesn't. I wrote about half of the story before figuring out that the structure was just too unwieldy, then went to writing the backstory, which became Iris.

It's one reason why I tend to be guarded when people ask for my opinions on their fanfic ideas. Ideas are the very beginning of the process - and there's a lot that can happen between idea and execution.

If it seems like my feelings in regards to what happens with Iris have fluctuated over the years... yeah. I admit the characterization nazis had some positive effect on the writing in this series, because I probably wouldn't have progressed on to write anything beyond the initial Iris if they hadn't. Problem is, I'm not the only writer. If you knew you were going to catch grief from people just because they disagreed with your idea, would you want to submit anything there? And... as I watched a great place for solid critiquing disintegrate because of the prejudices of a few, it angered me.

The argument I got from one of the more prominent Akanephiles at the time as an excuse for his behavior was that professional writers would face far worse criticism. I don't know if that's true or not; of course, such an excuse is irrelevant. Destructive criticism is still bad criticism, no matter what level of writing you're at, and the only reason to do it is to keep the writer from ever writing again.

(sigh) Oh, well.

Markings initially released April 4, 2000

Version sent to fanfiction dot net March 29, 2009.


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